My friend needs help and I can't give it to him...

[Aar0n]

I have a friend who is a FtM in the process of transitioning and he doesn't want people to know that he was a girl before he was a boy.He's not ashamed he's just not ready for the world to know yet.He told his parents and siblings and they are ok with it but that's the only people he wants to know for now.He also want to become an actor and when he gets into the industry he just want them to recongize him as a regular guy and not a FtM.He wanted to know if that is possible?Can he be known as a natural born man and not a FtM?If he changed his name after all the surgery and stuff and looked just like a male and went into the industry and if the "media" were to look up his new name, would they find his old name?Would they discover his secret that was not ment to be told just yet?

Can you all help my poor,sad,confused friend.

[cindianna_jones]

Aaron,

Anyone with the least bit of fame will never have a private life.  It's sad but it is true.  Sure it is possible for him to become an actor.  But his history will become an open book.

Cindi

[Nero]

Not sure, but if he "makes it big" or whatever, the secret will probably come out.
There's sure to be someone who knew him before that'll let the cat out of the bag.
Or more likely, whatever crazed fans he "parties" with, will tell, seeing as even if he does have bottom surgery, it'll still be obvious when his pants are down.

[Dennis]

Stealth is possible to some extent, but if anyone wants to dig, they probably could find out. And, of course, anyone you date would know. Even the best bottom surgery looks different from a bio males.

I find it easier just to cultivate an attitude of '*shrug* who cares?'. I don't go around telling people, but if someone does find out, it's pretty well a non-event. People will take their cues from your attitude.

Dennis

[Mario]

Aaron,

    When all the name chage bases are covered, such as changed through the court system, then social security, then DMV, that is enough to be stelth to the public. As was mentioned already, if he was to become a big star there is that chance someone would uncover his past. But you can't live life worrying about that, or you won't live.

                                             Marco

[Aar0n]

Hmm but how would they find out?What would they have to look up to see that he had surgery I mean if it is illegal for the surgeon to tell that information how would they know?

He has only told five people and they are pretty good with keeping their mouth closed.What if no one says a word about it.How could someone find out?

But you can't live life worrying about that, or you won't live

Yes I will make sure he knows that because he's so worried about what people would think of him and he doesn't realized that he's surrounded by people who loves and support him for whatever he wants to do.

[Nero]

Hmm but how would they find out?What would they have to look up to see that he had surgery I mean if it is illegal for the surgeon to tell that information how would they know?

Believe me, there's always a way. Especially if he's in the public eye.

Yes I will make sure he knows that because he's so worried about what people would think of him and he doesn't realized that he's surrounded by people who loves and support him for whatever he wants to do.

Hmm. You stated that your friend is not ashamed, but it would seem that he is.
Because of the inadequate surgery available to FTMs, I don't believe deep stealth is really possible for us, unless of course your friend is up to a life of celibacy.
I wouldn't go around proclaiming my status to everyone, but I really doubt I could even be friends with someone who didn't know, just because I can't stand for people not to know me.
It would drive me insane if people thought I had a penis.
But of course, that is just me.
Your friend needs to just be himself and follow his dreams, and not concern himself with what others may think.
A bit of attitude wouldn't hurt either.

Nero