To be or not to be

[sarahF]

I have read a post about stealth, here at Susan's, and are still upset. To be stealth or out is a very personal choice. I don't understand why anyone, from the transgender family, would have something discriminatory to say about someone else's choice.
I responded in saying I too am stealth and don't run in the circle of people like that. We all want to be excepted for who we are, and being stealth or not should not make a difference.
I come to this foram when I can so please be patient   with my answering.
Sarah

[Sarah Louise]

There is nothing wrong with living in Stealth.  It is a personal decision, most of us do want to fit in and not draw attention to ourselves.

Sarah L.

[Janet_Girl]

That is what I said.  That it does not matter if you are stealth or not.  What matters is "Are you happy"?  And that only each can answer for themselves.


Janet

[gothique11]

Oh, no, no, no, you can't do that! You have be like and listen to the status quo of the forum! You can't have your own mind and opinion. Why would you want that? To be yourself? Your own mind? Your own person? Pfffff! Conform!   

LOL Kidding -- of course it doesn't matter if your stealth or not. You are your own person. So what if different ppl in the trans community think it should be that way or this way or up or down. Isn't the point of transitioning to become yourself?

[Naturally Blonde]

I have read a post about stealth, here at Susan's, and are still upset. To be stealth or out is a very personal choice. I don't understand why anyone, from the transgender family, would have something discriminatory to say about someone else's choice.
I responded in saying I too am stealth and don't run in the circle of people like that. We all want to be excepted for who we are, and being stealth or not should not make a difference.
I come to this foram when I can so please be patient   with my answering.
Sarah

I always thought to be 'Stealth' is the main objective of a gender change? ....you are changing your gender from one gender to another so you don't want people to know you were once physically male. I know some people revel in being transgendered and have web sites about it and tell the whole world, that's fine but that isn't my objective or interest. We all have our own goal we want to try and get to but no one should be knocked either way for the way they live their lives.

[K8]

We each do this differently, depending on our needs and our situations.  For me, I don't see the need for stealth.  If it happens, fine, but it isn't what I'm seeking.  If that is part of your goal, fine.  I wish you the best.

Like anyone who finds a way out of the woods, we want to spread the Good News and help everyone else follow our path.  But there are many paths, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another.

- Kate

PS: I sometimes get on my high horse and act like my way is the only right way.  If I do, please call me on it.  Really.

[Bellaon7]

Stealth? STEALTH?!?! Are fn' kidding me? This is what makes us stand up & bark?!l! Stealth, am I just missing something HUGE? Ok, now I know I'm sane!

[Dawn D.]

We all want to be excepted for who we are, and being stealth or not should not make a difference.

Sarah

I think that said it better than anything, Sarah!

There is no, one right way, to do this. What works for you, will. Originally I had thought, I too, was going to be living by the "S" word in order to be happy and be myself. The funny thing is, as I moved further along and realized that once I was going to be in RLE sooner than I anticipated, stealth was not going to be the option I could go with. And, honestly, it would have been the wrong choice for me. This I know now. It's just the way things worked out. However, if that is the path you intend to take, do it! Make it work for you! Don't let anyone sway you, if your certain that it's right for you.

Personally, I feel a particular freedom in being open about who I am. I've been able to share my "story" with scores of people and I think it helps them to understand who and why "we" are. But again, that's me. It's what I like to do. And, it's worked!

Dawn 

[Naturally Blonde]

Stealth? STEALTH?!?! Are fn' kidding me? This is what makes us stand up & bark?!l! Stealth, am I just missing something HUGE? Ok, now I know I'm sane!

Is this kind of language allowed in the forum?  We should be able to have a choice be it stealth or not stealth.

[Bellaon7]

Is this kind of language allowed in the forum?  We should be able to have a choice be it stealth or not stealth.

I agree, that was my point. It's not even worth arguing over, it's a personal choice.
Post Merge: November 06, 2009, 01:31:29 PM

Is this kind of language allowed in the forum?  We should be able to have a choice be it stealth or not stealth.

Post Merge: November 06, 2009, 11:31:49 AM

Is this kind of language allowed in the forum?  We should be able to have a choice be it stealth or not stealth.

[FallenLeaves]

I always thought to be 'Stealth' is the main objective of a gender change? ....you are changing your gender from one gender to another so you don't want people to know you were once physically male.

I'm changing my gender from male to female because I want to be treated more like a female than a male, not because I never want people to know I was born a male. I don't think there are just two clear classifications for gender anyways, female just happens to fit me better than male does. I'm in no way ashamed of this fact and I love to tell people. I guess it's easy for me though considering I'm a part of a younger, much more open-minded generation and really it's yet to even become an issue. If anything, my telling people has only made them like and respect me more. Telling my professors and being open with them has done wonders as well, it's greatly strengthened my relationships with them and is going to improve my letters of recommendation for graduate school. Regardless though, I have a deep desire for this world to change and that is never going to happen until more transsexuals are open, so I rather like feeling good about doing my little part. It certainly was by no means easy to push myself to this point, but damn am I glad I did. I could definitely see it being a lot harder if you were used to getting a lot more negative reactions than I personally do.

[Naturally Blonde]

I'm changing my gender from male to female because I want to be treated more like a female than a male, not because I never want people to know I was born a male. I don't think there are just two clear classifications for gender anyways, female just happens to fit me better than male does. I'm in no way ashamed of this fact and I love to tell people.

I'm not ashamed of my roots either but I don't want to personally broadcast it across the internet.

[Bellaon7]

I think everyone really just needs to take a big step back, take some really deep breaths, & take the time to sharpen those blades right & come out slashing like jefferey dalmer on a meth binge!

[Nikki]

I've always thought I'd begin hrt and start developing as well as feel certain I'm at peace in terms of the realistic extent to which I could take it before I annouced I'm transsexual.

This way you've at least made some physical progress and and you feel good and reasonable about as to how far you can take your transition.

Unless you have the means to start transition there's really no point in telling anyone your feel like a transexual. In my case, this is rather convenient in that I like guys so I have told everyone I'm gay, as opposed to going into unecassary elaboration.

[sarahF]

My Point. Choice is differant for all of us no one should be pressured into how one lives.
Sarah