What Is It About Being a Woman?

[tekla]

And my GF like diamonds.  Had I met you first I'd have an extra house.

[Janet_Girl]

Oh I like Diamonds.  But I like a comfortable home more.



Janet

[SusanKC]

Ohhh, two young people falling in then out of love in the course of a bagel bribe. 

Janet, thank you for your reports on your progress; Tekla, beautiful pictures on your link, just wonderful. 

Back to the Post subject for a moment before I wonder off again:  Being a Woman is about everything, it is the correct side of being human, it is the bad with the good, it is what should be (for me), and hopefully will be - IMO of course.  I have had trouble understanding even accepting the reverse, my failure, but am doing so much more since actually conversing with everyone here, to my benefit.

SusanKG

[Janet_Girl]

Flirting, even harmlessly, is part of being a woman.  It is fun, and how know it could lead to something more.

I enjoy the freedom, that I have found being a woman, that allows me to flirt.  I never could before, because I was hiding this secret that I was really a woman.  Now I can flirt.  What I would do if I ever caught a man, I have no idea, but it would be fun to find out.



Janet

[tekla]

What I would do if I ever caught a man, I have no idea

Might as well 'kill 'em and grill 'em' turns out they are damn hard to domesticate.

[Janet_Girl]

they are damn hard to domesticate.

Truer Words were never spoken.  But it might be fun trying.



Janet

[tekla]

9 out of every 8 divorce cases says otherwise. 

It's kinda like putting a ferret or weasel down your pants.  Sure, it seems like good fun at the moment, but when you find out your pants legs are tied up and it can't get out, the fifth trip across your privates is six trips too many.

[Janet_Girl]

Well being I have been married three times, all be it as a male, that could be true.
But it is said that you can tell a happily married man by the words he says.  "Yes Dear"'



Janet

[MasterAsh]

Maybe my male construct just protected me by being a buffer and loving the dark.

I seem to keep finding similarities between you and I, Kara-Xen. . .

I can't even imagine what I'll be like in the future, given I'm still a ways off from hormones. I've been exceptionally emotionally sensitive for what seems like my whole life, and recently (the last year or so) I've been getting that "squishy" feeling with guys.

The extraction of two wisdom teeth last month was made a little more pleasant by the presence of an oral surgeon with the most surprisingly warm ice-blue eyes I'd ever seen. I'm feeling fluttery just thinking about them. 

[The None Blonde]

Don't expect to 'change' guys.... Hormones wont change who you are, your personality, your temperment... some likes and dislikes 'broaden' rather than 'change', the darkness thing is a vulerability thing, it happens, you learn to get over it.  Transition changes the physical you more than the mental you, and if i were you, i'd hold onto the mental me with both hands... its all you've got constant in the world....

[Naturally Blonde]

Don't expect to 'change' guys.... Hormones wont change who you are, your personality, your temperment... some likes and dislikes 'broaden' rather than 'change', the darkness thing is a vulerability thing, it happens, you learn to get over it.  Transition changes the physical you more than the mental you, and if i were you, i'd hold onto the mental me with both hands... its all you've got constant in the world....

I agree mostly apart from the 'transition changes the physical you'  bit...which in a lot of cases it doesn't unfortunitely.

[K8]

First off, I'm not sure anyone was talking about marriage.  We were talking about a few hours of fun and then g'bye.  (Or, for those with a short attention span, five minutes of fun. )

Second, I think that transition does change you.  I don't know if it is the hormones or how you see yourself or how you fit into the world or the freedom of finally being yourself (probably all of the above), but I am not the same person I was a year ago. 

Your past forms you, but the present molds you.  One of the Buddhist tenets is that you are not the same person you were at age five and not the same person you were five minutes ago.  Upon realizing that you can move forward.

I look at old pictures of myself and realize I am not that person.  He became the person I am now, but he is not me.

For me, the non-physical changes – the social, emotional, psychological, and personality changes – are far more important than the physical changes I've achieved so far.

Just my 2 pence.

- Kate

[The None Blonde]

Naturally Blonde: If transition doesnt change you physically to some extent, you didn't transition Hormones another matter.

K8: you miss the point... LIFE changes us, anyone looking back a year sees a different person to the way they are now, for some of us, its just more pronounced for a while...

Transition doesnt change you. You transition so you don't have to change. Some here seem to be confusing 'behaviour' with 'personality'.

[deviousxen]

OK, 99% of men.  and hey, a bagel and a cup of coffee for a BJ?  Hell, I'd take that deal any day.  (not on the bagel end though)

What about the WHY part though. I think that matters...

Testosterone makes people into totally horrible people sometimes, even beyond their will...

Just like Estrogen makes me weak without my choice.


Is it really any different?

[K8]

K8: you miss the point... LIFE changes us, anyone looking back a year sees a different person to the way they are now, for some of us, its just more pronounced for a while...

Transition doesnt change you. You transition so you don't have to change. Some here seem to be confusing 'behaviour' with 'personality'.

You are right, of course.  Life changes you.  Going to school, getting a job, partnering with someone, even talking to a stranger – all will change you in ways large and small.  I see transitioning as a major life event, and as such it will make a huge difference in how I live my life.

I guess I am missing the point.  I don't see how I could stay the same by transitioning but change by not transitioning.  I lived 65 years trying to be a boy and then a man, pretending I fit into the social structure imposed because I was thought to be male – not transitioning.  Now I've stopped trying and am just a woman.  I don't see how if I continued trying for another 65 years I would change but by no longer trying to fit I wouldn't change.  Perhaps you mean that I am finally letting my inner self come out.  But I think that by doing that I am changing, and it is the act of transitioning that makes those changes.

My behavior has changed, yes, but I think my personality has, too.  I am the new and improved version of the person I was, so in that sense I didn't change.  But instead of being introverted, I am extroverted; instead of being shy, I am friendly; instead of being quiet, I am very talkative; instead of being repressed, I am bold; instead of being a loner, I am very social, etc.  If that isn't a change in personality, then you are right in that I don't know the difference between behavior and personality.

The difference between me now and a year ago is far greater than between me a year a go and two years ago.  During the last year I have finally found myself and begun transition.

- Kate

[The None Blonde]

I didn't say one wouldn't change, just that one changes irespective of transition.... if one doesnt, i'd be concerned. The simple fact is, that Transition should make us fit in better, thus being easy, and allow us to express who we are really... not change into someone else on the flip of a dime... Change will happen, but its a dynamic life long process, and I'm perfectly happy to say that my personality is the same as before transition, I've always been me, but me grows.

[K8]

NB: I'm sorry I misinterpreted what you said.  I think we have both said that life changes one.  I think one of the points I was trying to make is that transition - like any major life event - will create a larger change than what happens during a steady state. 

Yes, I too, have always been me, but the growth spurt I've experienced with transition has been enormous, very welcome to me, and very obvious to my friends.  And for me, it has been that growth more than the growth of my breasts that has been so very important to me.

- Kate

[Miniar]

Transition "obviously" changes who you are.
It's a powerful experience that changes your hormonal balance, appearance, the reactions you get from your surroundings and so on.
If we say that who we are is biological, then the hormonal changes of transition changes who we are. If we say that who we are is the sum of our experiences, then transition changes who we are. (Personally, I believe that who we are is biological and sum of experience combined, topped off with just a little touch of "spiritual" influence from our soul.) Either way, transition changes you.

You would have changed some way anyway, but nothing can change you exactly the same as transition will change you.

We change all the time. I will not be the exact same man tomorrow as I was when I woke up yesterday.

Our personality stays the same in it's principle components, but these components are reactionary. When we change who we are and how our surroundings react to us, we change which aspects of our personality are the strongest.
It doesn't "change" our personality's components themselves, but it changes our personality in it's expression.

A bubbly, giggly girl, will thus be, far more bubbly and giggly when her surroundings allow her to be a girl. etc.. etc..

[Sandy]

As has been said, transition is something that happens to you AND those who touch your life.

That came to me today as I was being fitted for my costume(s) in Rumpelstiltskin.

I'm a big framed woman and fitting me is a bit of a trick.  The costume lady knew me from before and I was struck by how much more work she has to do now to fit me.  Before I was an average sized guy so finding a costume was pretty straight forward.  Now she has to find the biggest dresses then add or modify to fit my frame and my *boobage* as she puts it.  (well they are big)

She is good natured about it and most professional and accepting.  But I am a little embarrassed that she has to do more work on my costume than just about anyone else's.

So transition is a change for just about everyone.  And it affects people in ways that could never have been foreseen.

Just an interesting observation.

-Sandy

[Naturally Blonde]

I always felt I was female from the age of 4 and HRT hasn't changed my perception. I didn't ever fit in with boys or their interests and by the time I was 13 I looked like a teenage girl. It wasn't until I got into my 30's that I started to look male which really used to upset me.

I've tried since then to erradicate the problem and I do feel happier now knowing I'm back on track and percieved as female again.