Does your family talk during meals?

[Hannah]

Mine doesn't, and it really bugs me. They just hunch over their places and occasionally grunt, but mostly it sounds like a pack of dogs picking apart a carcass. The non genetic members if the family do, but it's so awkward that I don't know why we get together.

My mom likes to watch me eat, too. That's freaking creepy, she will just sit in silence and stare.

So is my family made up of psychopaths or is this just a generational thing? For me, meals are as much about connecting as they are feeding, but I seem to be in the minority around here.

[jamie lee]

Ever since the grandkids moved in we make sure we have a sit down dinner every evening. We talk about school, My wife will tell us about her day, aor any problems anyone has. Conversation seem easier around the dinner table.

Becca have you tried to start a conversation, It dosen't have to be about anything special, just something to break the ice.

Jamie

[tekla]

God, that sounds so... white, and Protestant.  Didn't Woody Allen do that in Annie Hall with the split screen of her family having dinner and his?

- My family, never shut up, dinner was more like a House of Commons Prime Minster meeting.  Or what the House of Commons might be like if they had a food fight with the PM meeting.
- My ex - Jewish, just like Woody pictured it, complete with long discussions of illnesses and diseases that you don't want to hear about even on an empty stomach.
- My GF - Mexican - try, I dare you to try to get a word in.

[Janet_Girl]

My family never spoke during dinner.  I try to now to change that part of my life.



Janet

[Hannah]

I'm so jealous Tekla, those sound like rich experiences. I've tried to poke them yes, but I'm kind of the pink sheep in the group 

Oh and they're not Protestant, even better: Mormons.

[tekla]

Oh, LDS, the church for people who thought that Protestants were not white enough or dull enough. 

I guess at some point in order to have a discussion, you have to have something going on in your life to talk about.  Maybe they just didn't do anything, or read anything or think much about anything.  There are people like that.

[lisagurl]

Oh and they're not Protestant, even better: Mormons.

Then get some topics from Glen Beck.

[tekla]

Topics bordering on insanity always brings a family closer in my opinion. 

[Lachlann]

I'm so jealous Tekla, those sound like rich experiences. I've tried to poke them yes, but I'm kind of the pink sheep in the group 

Oh and they're not Protestant, even better: Mormons.

Mormons tend to be all about family. My parents are Mormon and like to talk at the dinner table, however I do not. And I wouldn't call Mormons boring exactly, lol.

[Hannah]

If they would practice what they preach, sure. It sounds great in writing. While I was growing up my dad cheated on my mom, with other women in the church, 7 times that we know of. A couple well known members were beating their wives and kids, others were screwing their daughters. Everyone just tolerated the community pedophile, he actually drives the food truck for the old ladies now.

I don't know for sure how the hell I got out relatively unscarred, prolly the military. I'd always thought for myself but there I learned the confidence to act as well.

Anyway it sounds like it's broken people, not necessarily their church even though it's a fun stereotype lol.     

[myles]

yes we do. Some days I wish not only because it takes forever to get through a meal. I have to get my kids up at 6am so they can be to school at 8:20. It takes them at least an hour to have breakfast because they talk to each other (when we have left the table). I ask them what they have to talk about they share a room, last year were in the same class at school and basically spend all waking hours together. They say there is plenty for them to catch up on. Usually it has to do with what Star Wars ship, gun or creature is better tan the other. They crack me up. I would rather have the talking than silence though that is for sure.
Myles/Andrew

[Lachlann]

If they would practice what they preach, sure. It sounds great in writing. While I was growing up my dad cheated on my mom, with other women in the church, 7 times that we know of. A couple well known members were beating their wives and kids, others were screwing their daughters. Everyone just tolerated the community pedophile, he actually drives the food truck for the old ladies now.

I don't know for sure how the hell I got out relatively unscarred, prolly the military. I'd always thought for myself but there I learned the confidence to act as well.

Anyway it sounds like it's broken people, not necessarily their church even though it's a fun stereotype lol. 

Yep, just broken people. Doesn't matter what they'd follow they'd still be the same way.

I'm lucky, I guess. My family supports my transition and it seems like most of the drama came from non-Mormons, lol, specifically my biological father(I'm raised by my grandparents) who made up issues instead of taking responsibility for himself. He has a bit of an anarchist attitude and I can't stand him. He ended up scarring me mentally in the end and thinks I'm just gay whereas the rest of my family knows it's different from orientation. It's weird. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian and there's a different attitude, I don't know, I rarely hear about fundamental nut jobs here either.

But it's best to just look at people as people, instead of judging what they're affiliated with... at least when it comes to most socialization, that thinking wouldn't hold up in a job and there can be touchy subjects. However, good and bad people exist in every belief or non-belief.
I find stereotyping when it isn't applicable a cheap shot.

But as for advice for the dinner table, the best thing would be to talk to them about something that they've been working on or doing in their life, completely harmless stuff. Politics and religion can be a big no-no if your family have very divided views. A lot of people tend to like to talk about themselves. I know when my family gets together we get on the topic of work or technology, or something in the news. We're pretty civil when it comes to politics and religion, I think. Very open minded and liberal people.

In the end it just depends on your family. What makes you get along. Some sort of common ground.

[Miniar]

Depends on how good the food is. 

[tekla]

Politics, sex and religion are the ONLY things worth talking about, otherwise your just jerking the guy next to you off.
Post Merge: November 23, 2009, 07:12:33 PM
But it's best to just look at people as people, instead of judging what they're affiliated with

Ummm, real adults (those that think) pay very careful attention to what they are affiliated with.  Here are two dinner parties, guess what one you would be in the most danger at....

One - Union organizer, Lifetime ACLU member, democrat,
Two - Club for Growth, Elder at the local Baptist church, republican

Real people - not idiots, of which there are tons - do really decide (not just go along with) what they want to associate themselves with.

[Bellaon7]

The sound of children chattering away at the dinner table is something special.

[tekla]

Sure, but the taste of children at the table, especially in a nice balsamic reduction has to be experienced to be believed.  With some fava beans and a nice Chianti, of course.

[heatherrose]

If they would practice what they preach, sure. It sounds great in writing. While I was growing up my dad cheated on my mom, with other women in the church, 7 times that we know of. A couple well known members were beating their wives and kids, others were screwing their daughters. Everyone just tolerated the community pedophile, he actually drives the food truck for the old ladies now.

...while praying the Rosary...uh..oh that's right, you said your family is Mormon.

[Osiris]

Since I was little, we always had dinner together and always talked at the table. Some of our best discussions are had while sitting around the dinner table. We'll even delay leaving for awhile cause we're having fun chatting.

[Lachlann]

Politics, sex and religion are the ONLY things worth talking about, otherwise your just jerking the guy next to you off.
Post Merge: November 23, 2009, 07:12:33 PM
But it's best to just look at people as people, instead of judging what they're affiliated with

Ummm, real adults (those that think) pay very careful attention to what they are affiliated with.  Here are two dinner parties, guess what one you would be in the most danger at....

One - Union organizer, Lifetime ACLU member, democrat,
Two - Club for Growth, Elder at the local Baptist church, republican

Real people - not idiots, of which there are tons - do really decide (not just go along with) what they want to associate themselves with.

Which is what I said.

I'm just saying that there are different kinds of people who believe and think different things, but can all be affiliated under one cause. Like I specified, there are scenarios where it isn't applicable.

[Amy85]

Sure, but the taste of children at the table, especially in a nice balsamic reduction has to be experienced to be believed.  With some fava beans and a nice Chianti, of course.