This will get everybodies blood flowing over the turkey

[Julie Marie]

Being a fallen member of the RCC I can see more clearly now than when I was "on the inside."

When I was growing up I heard a lot of talk about the fear of spending eternity with that guy with the pitchfork.  You didn't want to do that!  It's way too warm.  That fear was supposed to  compel people to to do good.  But the RCC had a plan: forgiveness.  You can do just about anything and god will forgive you so long as you are sorry.  Walk into confessional, tell the priest your sins, he'll give you some prayers to say, drop some coin in the box and you're clean.  No more hell!  If you do things really right, you can even skip purgatory.

Pretty slick. 

Anyone who fears hell but has some things to do here that maybe the big guy upstairs might not like can become a member of the RCC and be absolved here before you check out.  An entire life of crime can be wiped out with one act of contrition.  That's pretty attractive if hell is a problem for you.

But you have to remember that the guy in the box you confessed your sins to knows what you're up to.  So you might feel a wee bit uncomfortable next time you see him.  That can usually be solved with a nice donation to the church.

I think that's why the RCC has as many members as they do.  You get to have your cake and eat it too, as long as you donate generously.