my best freind is starting meds

[klampner1961]

my best male friend is starting meds Estrace(pill)
Aldactone/(pill)
Provera/(pill) .
with out the advise of a doctor, he ordered them on line from canada. this worries me. what should i or can i expect from this? how lone b4 i see changes and will it be reversible if he chooses to go back to being male?


Removed doseage

[tekla]

actual dosages are a no-no, and for (surprisingly) a good reason.

[klampner1961]

asorry about that it was a cut and paste thing.

[Hannah]

If your friend is going to do such a drastic thing, and has done no more research than asking on an internet forum (where by the way, we are
all experts and never say the same thing) then they kind of deserve what's coming to them. I know that sounds harsh but come on. Even WITH a doctor one should learn about the meds and what they do to the body and to what degree.

The fact that your friend bought them from Canada hints at minimal research, because there's several other places that are just as good in terms of quality and tons cheaper. Tell your friend to read a book or two and get their head out of their butt and go see a doctor about their plans so that when they blow their liver out the doc will know where to start.

[klampner1961]

i would be he has no idea i even know this. and wouldnt talk to me if he knew. been there done that about a year ago

[Hannah]

Okay, so let's try a different approach.

my best male friend

he ordered them on line

will it be reversible if he chooses

he has no idea i even know this

wouldnt talk to me if he knew

I can't speak for your friend, but most of us do this because we are girls, women, female. Wer'e stuck in nasty, stinky, hairy, and deformed bodies and will do whatever it takes to get out. When you look at your friend try to see a girl. Talk to her and treat her like you would a woman. Don't slap her back and say "ok man" or use the expression "d00d". Talk about her in the feminine, and never mess up. I wouldn't want to talk to you either, from what I see here, but it's clear from your other posts that you do care.

This is a lonely row to hoe alone, so if you love this person then be there for her because she's going to need you. The potential and prolly minimal side effects of those drugs are nothing compared to what she's going to go through emotionally. I'll warn you again about the pronoun thing though, we take "him, he, man, d00d" very seriously...it's extremely hurtful.

[klampner1961]

i will try and talk to him in that way. it will be difficult to say the least. ive know him for many years. its funny cause i dont see him to be very fem. although he does have some the charteristics of a women. i dont know how he would take to me talking to him like a women. i plan on waiting for him to come to me about all this. hard for me to do cause i care so much. anyways what is he going to experience taking meds?

[Hannah]

Ok it's starting to get on my nerves now.

I will try to talk to her in that way. It will be difficult to say the least because I have known her for many years. It's funny because I don't see her to be very fem. Although she does have come characteristics of a woman. I don't know how she would take my talking to her like a woman. I plan on waiting for her to come out to me about all this. Hard for me to do because I care so much. Anyway what is she going to experience taking the meds?

Your turn. Practice it. Rewrite it here or I'm going to go get my pointy shoes on, I mean it mister. If you want this person to open up to you, seriously, this is important. I know the physical stuff is interesting but it's nothing compared to the psychological and emotional stuff.

[klampner1961]

ok. i love her and care about her. all i wanna do is help her though this. i think she cares about me. i do remeber now when i used to call her sweety (before i knew about all this) she use to respond much better to me.

[Hannah]

  Told ya

Now you get a cookie!

[klampner1961]

well i plan on being there for the crying and anything else she needs. just so everyone knows this is not only a phyiscial attraction for me. i love the person inside and behind those presious eyes. i just hope im able to help her on this journey and she will allow me to do so. i so worry about her taking meds without supervision

[HelenW]

Your friend is risking severe health problems, even death, by self-medicating.  Yes, this is that serious.

You can learn about the effects of HRT from our Wiki but how to do it yourself is not covered.

She is obviously desperate.  I can understand that completely, having been there myself, and she needs to find a doctor who will be able to help her with this.  Ask her to check our links page for references to therapists and doctors.  If she balks, remind her that the liver damage she is risking, if severe enough, will keep her from getting real HRT in the future if it doesn't kill her.  It could even keep her from getting surgery.

She is welcome here, of course, if she wants our support but we cannot condone her self-medication without a doctor's supervision.  Good luck to both of you!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[qRachelp]

my best male friend is starting meds Estrace(pill)
Aldactone/(pill)
Provera/(pill) .
with out the advise of a doctor, he ordered them on line from canada. this worries me. what should i or can i expect from this? how lone b4 i see changes and will it be reversible if he chooses to go back to being male?


Removed doseage

klampner,

I've seen before where someone got hormones of off the net, took them for a month, and then went straight to a transsexual-friendly doctor, without seeing a therapist, to tell him what she (MTF) was doing, and since she had already started meds on her own, the doctor took her under his wing and started giving her prescriptions.  The MD's thinking was: "Well, if she's gonna do it without me, I might as well help her so she can be with me and I can monitor her health."

XX,
Rachel

(Society has "gender dysphoria", while WE have gender euphoria. )

[klampner1961]

i havent slept worring about her and dont know what to do

[Randi]

There is also a forum here specifically for Significant Others on the main forums list. Go there and read what has been posted by others who have been in your position.

Ok, now I see where you have already been there. I have used Estrogen for a few months without proper supervision and the changes I have seen are subtle but real-chest/backside changing shape, female emotions, desire to wear feminine clothing, etc. The warnings about liver damage and other health concerns are also real and valid. I am currently getting help from my doctor and now have a therapist as well. Hope this helps.

Randi

[klampner1961]

thank you. she just got her delivery today of meds. im so upset and dont know what to do. guess just sit back and wait to see if she comes to me. i just dont want her to harm herslef even worse when the changes star to take place im affraid she will leave me and everyone behind. :-(
Post Merge: November 30, 2009, 10:36:28 AM
wlee i think she started them. from what i have read. she is trowing up in the mornings. i can see she is very upset about something. been trying to talk to her but she wont open up.. breaks my heart :-(
Post Merge: November 30, 2009, 11:48:23 AM
i should add. she is drinking more to cope with things

[klampner1961]

well i can tell by here mood swings she is taking them. god i hope we can make it thru this.wow shes a mess

[Arch]

This sounds serious. It might be time for YOU to go to HER. It might be just what she needs.

Apart from you, who else knows what she is doing? And does she have any kind of support system? I know that a lot of people do this essentially alone, and people in the past even more so. I don't know how they do/did it. One reason I didn't transition earlier is that there just weren't any role models for me, nobody to talk to. I really was all alone, as far as I knew. And I was too scared to reach out to "famous" trans people that I read about in trans publications. What I needed was someone to talk to in my own town. A true friend who would listen without judging. Someone whose love and loyalty I could count on.

Just one true friend can make all the difference.

[Ali Noir]

I agree with Arch. At this point I would approach her. Try to let her know that you're there for her and give her some support. These little things will help not only her personal journey, but your relationship with her.
xoxo