I'm going back home to Chile in a few weeks for Christmas. I'll be there for almost a month, and I just got word that the mine is transferring my dad back to the US so this will be THE LAST TIME for a long while that I will see my friends and adopted country.
I'm excited and yet apprehensive about going home. On the one hand, I'll get to see my parents and two brothers and friends and neighbors and former teachers again! I'll go traveling across the central regions, the greenest and most beautiful parts of the country IMO, and I'll savor the delicious foods they make.
BUT... I'm bringing back bad news to my parents.
1) I've left the Mormon Cult--er, Church, of which my dad's entire side of the family--I'm talking huge extended family here--are lifelong members
2) I'm leaving college after 3 semesters to look for work, because my brain needs a major rest after continuous college-level courses starting in my sophomore year of high school (and the 'rents have been paying it all: dorm/apt, living expenses, utilities, schooling, etc)
3) I'm going to come out at FtM transgender to them, which means I'll need to print off a LOT of scientific articles, if not to convince them of anything then to show them I'm not just spouting bull out my @r$e
4) I'm going to tell them that my sweetheart Nick and I are FOREVER, and I WILL NOT leave him for a parent-approved "worthy returned missionary"--gah, do they think I'm totally brainwashed?? I'll love who
I love, not who
they want me to love.
5) I'm not the perfect Mormon girl they want me to be. I've smoked cigs (and stuff), I've drunk alcohol and liked it, I sleep with my love whenever we feel like it (Gasp, the horror! We're not married, so we're going to hell!! Oh no!! *heavy sarcasm*), and I'm no longer interested in being the perfectionist superachiever they trained me to be
Complicating the matter is the fact that I have touches of OCD and bipolar, I've been seriously depressed for several years and lately had some severe insomnia, all which I have been trying to see a head-shrinker for. I don't want them to think my ->-bleeped-<- is a 'diseased' part of me that should be gotten rid of. (I've waffled back and forth on getting head meds or no, because the rents and I think they might help but I abhor ingesting chemicals when herbs work just as well with far fewer side effects. Anyhow, I've been trying for months to see a head doc but my insurance won't pay for any mental health facilities in town so I've been trying to sign up for ACHSSS, which still hasn't happened.)
I've been out from under their thumbs for a year and 3 mos now, and I love it!! I have finally been able to make my own choices without either the rents or the church looking over my shoulder, been able to grow and learn and mature and decide for myself what this world is about and what my part to play is.
I'm afraid of how they'll take all these bombshells. I don't want to alienate them, but I HAVE to stand up to them for once. My 17-yr-old bro knows I'm transgender, but no one else does and even he may be shocked at how serious I am. Also shocking them will be how I dress for church--I'm going to see the people, not to be preached at--in a dress shirt, slacks and tie. I refuse to wear a dress; my legs are too hairy anyhow.
Does anyone have advice for coming out to loving-yet-strict uber-religious parents? My da's the type to give 3hr interactive lectures to we 3 offspring, which I really want to avoid. I've mentioned in previous posts that my chosen middle name is a tribute to my dad; could this be a good thing to mention? What are some really good online resources I can print off or direct them to?
