The beginning of my transition

[AweSAM!]

So far, I'm really glad I found this website, and I really hope to start being a contributing member to this community. I still haven't yet posted an introduction, but I think I will shortly after I post this.

I recently turned 18 in May, major concern here is how to start the entire process of transitioning, coming out, getting therapy, as well as getting hormone replacement therapy. I always felt very uncomfortable with my body, and I've finally excepted that I am transsexual.

Thus far, I have already ordered some hormones from an online pharmacy so that I could go on a DIY hormone replacement therapy regimen, and stall the last bit of my puberty. I am a university student who does not have much money, and I am really worried about the cost of therapy or the speed at which I can officially get started on HRT. I have been obsessing over the situation for years, and I have finally decided that I want to take action.

[rejennyrated]

Please be very careful about self medication. A lot of us have done it (and back in the late 70's with no internet it was a deal more difficult I can tell you!) But you really can get into trouble if you get it wrong.

Like you I was an early transitioner and personally I think it does pay dividends in terms of less trauma and drama involved for everyone. Also you get a better end result.

But do be aware that there are some, even on this board, who would disagree and tell you that they think 18 is rather young.

Age 24, I was postop and this is what I looked like back then (1984).



I wish you good luck and every happiness. But please do try to get some medical supervision as soon as you can. It's not an easy road to tread I know, but you want to get it right and give yourself the best chance of success, and going through the system really is the best way to achieve that.

Welcome to our family

Jenny x.

[Hannah]

what is that on your leg Jenny?

[rejennyrated]

what is that on your leg Jenny?

A watermark on the negative... it's such an old photo I had to scan it from a negative - 1984 = Pre digital camera you see!

PS. Because of the speed at which I went through the medical system the result you can see is after just over two and a half years on hormones - (half of which was "unofficial") I continued to develop for some years - and eventually ended up being a generous F cup bust - with no silcone involved. So don't rush into too much augmentation surgery either. Starting young you may not need it.

[Hannah]

I was hoping for something a little more interesting like a giant squid attack or something but that works too.

Welcome to our little nuthouse Miss2009  Where are you going to school?

[rejennyrated]

I was hoping for something a little more interesting like a giant squid attack or something but that works too.

Welcome to our little nuthouse Miss2009  Where are you going to school?

Sorry to be so boring!

And what are you studying Miss2009 - my 1st degree was a Bsc in Nuclear Physics, which I topped off last year with an MA in screenwriting.

[AweSAM!]

I was hoping for something a little more interesting like a giant squid attack or something but that works too.

Welcome to our little nuthouse Miss2009  Where are you going to school?

I'm now in my first year at University. Actually, being at university is one of the things that led me to want to transition, and break out of the lies/life that I was previously living.

Please be very careful about self medication. A lot of us have done it (and back in the late 70's with no internet it was a deal more difficult I can tell you!) But you really can get into trouble if you get it wrong.

Like you I was an early transitioner and personally I think it does pay dividends in terms of less trauma and drama involved for everyone. Also you get a better end result.

But do be aware that there are some, even on this board, who would disagree and tell you that they think 18 is rather young.

Age 24, I was postop and this is what I looked like back then (1984).



I wish you good luck and every happiness. But please do try to get some medical supervision as soon as you can. It's not an easy road to tread I know, but you want to get it right and give yourself the best chance of success, and going through the system really is the best way to achieve that.

Welcome to our family

Jenny x.

I set up appointment with a GP for next Tuesday, and a Counsellor soon thereafter.  I plan on stating what I'm currently doing in terms of my plans to transition, and ask them to help show me the right direction, both medically and therapeutically.

I just hope that transitioning at 18 (okay, arguably closer to 19, since I'm born in May) for me, is enough.  I really hope that the benefits of HRT will be visible, at least somewhat. Just as a quick question, is 18 generally considered transitioning young? I was kind of inclined to believe that I was starting my transition a bit late, which is one of the reasons why I'm going to try and self medicate (I know it's irresponsible, and probably somewhat dangerous, but I feel that if I don't start now I won't get any results, and that my body will continue to become more masculine).

Jenny, you look beautiful in that picture!Thank you all for being so welcoming, it's really heartwarming.

[LordKAT]

18 is late? I got news for you. Some of us are stating in our 60's and many are in their 30's or 40's. You are starting at a young age so don't be in too big of a hurry. Be real sure that you are doing what you need to do.

[rejennyrated]

I'm now in my first year at the University of Western Ontario. Actually, being at university is one of the things that led me to want to transition, and break out of the lies/life that I was previously living.

I set up appointment with a GP for next Tuesday, and a Counsellor soon thereafter.  I plan on stating what I'm currently doing in terms of my plans to transition, and ask them to help show me the right direction, both medically and therapeutically.

I just hope that transitioning at 18 (okay, arguably closer to 19, since I'm born in May) for me, is enough.  I really hope that the benefits of HRT will be visible, at least somewhat. Just as a quick question, is 18 generally considered transitioning young? I was kind of inclined to believe that I was starting my transition a bit late, which is one of the reasons why I'm going to try and self medicate (I know it's irresponsible, and probably somewhat dangerous, but I feel that if I don't start now I won't get any results, and that my body will continue to become more masculine).

Jenny, you look beautiful in that picture!Thank you all for being so welcoming, it's really heartwarming.

Thank you BLUSH! But sadly if you do the maths I'm now an "old" lady of 50!

18 is still considered fairly young... In my day it was positively infant - In fact I had already mainly transitioned with my families help and support during my childhood.

From five I bullied my parents into buying me dolls and other girls toys. From the age of about 8 onwards I wore a kilt (skirt) to school. I did domestic science, sewing, ballet and the school, (Windlesham House - a very progressive private school in the UK) which believed in letting people "find themselves" even let me play sports with the girls, which back then was pretty well unheard of. But these days whenever I take out my sewing machine and can knock up my own clothes I am very grateful that I had an almost "girlhood". Not many of us are so lucky.

Ironically all that good luck simply resulted in my first gender psychiatrist (John Randall) insisting that my family had made it too easy for me and I should do a  kind of reverse RLE and try living as a man during my uni years - which I did NOT enjoy.

Happily my second doctor was more understanding and allowed me to go through to surgery more or less on the nod!

Personally I don't agree with people that say 18 is too young... I'm grateful I started young. I think you should follow your heart. Only we know ourselves - other people can only judge by their own experience and so naturally those of us who started young, and for whom things worked out well will say it was a good decision. While others may not. But where we all agree is don't rush yourself.

Don't worry I'm in no position to criticise self med. But just remember it's an area where less is more - if you insist on doing it start on the LOWEST possible dose - and only build it up very slowly. I'm relieved to hear that you are seeing the doctor soon. That is wise - take his or her advice please.

As you can see from my photo, which is why I posted it, the results at that sort of age can be pretty good. So don't worry you certainly haven't left it to late.

Although in honesty I should probably admit that a while back, following a major hospital investigation for an unexpected gynie problem, I got the shock diagnosis (decades after it had ceased to be useful) that I had been Partial Androgen Insensitive intersexed all along. (Maybe why my mother was always so accomodating, and certainly why my voice never broke and I have no adams apple. I think mum knew it but hid it from me.)

[lilacwoman]

In UK and Europe the medics are split on allowing transitioning 'legally' before 18 but by 18 many MtFs will have gone heavilt testo-poisoned and not beable to make the attractive female look that will go a long way to being a happy post-op. 
I'd say get some advice..Uni will have some therapists or links to some who can help you along the way?
But if you are determined to go the self-med route start with a very low dose just like the young girls do. 
www.transgendercare.com seems to have a very highly regarded hormone regime page that would be a good guide.
I don't want to see a mother hen or opponent but have you read that http://gidinteralia.blogspot.com site?

[rejennyrated]

In UK and Europe the medics are split on allowing transitioning 'legally' before 18 but by 18 many MtFs will have gone heavilt testo-poisoned and not beable to make the attractive female look that will go a long way to being a happy post-op. 
I'd say get some advice..Uni will have some therapists or links to some who can help you along the way?
But if you are determined to go the self-med route start with a very low dose just like the young girls do. 
www.transgendercare.com seems to have a very highly regarded hormone regime page that would be a good guide.
I don't want to see a mother hen or opponent but have you read that http://gidinteralia.blogspot.com site?

Good advice - Absolutely seconded!   It's important to get as much info as you can and transgdendercare is a very good site indeed. Sadly I can't comment on the other site because I haven't read it yet.

Just remember it's YOUR life. Only you really know - the rest of us can only offer our opinions. So weigh them all up and then do what YOU think is right.

[Just Kate]

In UK and Europe the medics are split on allowing transitioning 'legally' before 18 but by 18 many MtFs will have gone heavilt testo-poisoned and not beable to make the attractive female look that will go a long way to being a happy post-op. 
I'd say get some advice..Uni will have some therapists or links to some who can help you along the way?
But if you are determined to go the self-med route start with a very low dose just like the young girls do. 
www.transgendercare.com seems to have a very highly regarded hormone regime page that would be a good guide.
I don't want to see a mother hen or opponent but have you read that http://gidinteralia.blogspot.com site?

http://gidinteralia.blogspot.com

I really need to make that blog more generally appealing.  The religious stuff at the beginning has little to do with the insights I've had since then back when the blog started as a cry for help.

[Pippa]

Same here.  All the wasted years of pain and doubt. It is always different looking with hindsight.   I should have moved after University and transitioned straight away but at the time I wasn't secure enough financially or confident enough.

[AweSAM!]

I just got my HRT recommendation today! This just made my month. 

Also, I came out to my family yesterday, and it's looking pretty good.

[rejennyrated]

Good for you - you go girl! 

[alexia elliot]

Hi Miss 2009, congrats on your new life, as long as you are sure of who you are?, go get it!!!  Every passing day, week ,month you are more male and less female. Sooner the change, easier the future of assimilation will be. However, there is always however, like the wisdom of all who have written here, being 18, life can still present lots of options, by transition you gain and loose at the same time. Huge, lifelong consequences will follow. Children? Womanhood? Career-(although lately much improved to succeed as female than years ago). You are definitely in the right place here with everyone, even though opinions may vary, we all are coming from the same place you are and giving our best honest advice. I am a newbie, and I am astonished by the reception I have got here. It truly feels you can put forth any of your deepest secrets with assurance of welcome and help if needed. Love, Alexia.

I only wished I was as brave as you are to make the transition happen at this age, and once you give in to life and take upon the burden of manhood, when finally realization comes of who you truly are and decision of transformation happens, the woman on the outside is never(although saying never with an ounce of hope) as the woman within.