My parents (or dad) are in denial

[madisonp]

Alright, so I finally came out to my parents.
Apparently not enough.
My father reminds me ever day that: Oh, you're a teenager and you're going to question these things about you for a good while, you're about to become a man now.

Shoot me

I guess I can't blame him for not understanding, but he literally reminds me every day of the very reason I dread waking up in the morning. The reason I am depressed to the point I used to skip classes to cry in the bathroom.
He just always seems to want to press the fact with emphasis that I am a boy because god made me that way.
Holy crap, I don't know what I'm going to do. He andd my mom were the ones who approached ME about my issues and were the ones who brought it up in the first place. I thought: Oh good, I'm finally getting somewhere. Nope, wrong.
He seems to feel like he is now a professional who can help me with my gender identity. And thing is, it makes me feel really wierd to talk about it with my parents; something so personal, something I've kept to myself for so long.
I even feel wierd to talk about this to my mother, the closest person to me in my life. I just want to talk to a psychologist so they can helo me explain to my parents what is going on inside of me.
UGH, I feel like I haven't barely given you enough information but is there ANY ADIVCE SOMEONE CAN GIVE ME OH GODDESS PLEASE!

[Hermione01]

My father reminds me ever day that: Oh, you're a teenager and you're going to question these things about you for a good while, you're about to become a man now.

I find it is interesting that your father thinks that teenagers commonly question their gender, um hello? I don't think so. Maybe he's mixing it up with sexuality? Idk.

Anyway, I think talking to a psychologist on how to deal with your parents denial is the best idea as well as other coping strategies.

[Nicky]

Well, congratulations for letting them know. That is a really hard thing to do.

Have you considered just telling your dad how bad he is making you feel every time he says that, that it hurts, he is hurting you, that you dread waking up in the morning because of it? He does not know at this stage how bad it makes you feel.

Following this perhaps you could ask your parents if you can see a gender therapist regarding it, that you are strugling?

Best of luck Madisonp. It does get easier to talk about.

You could look at getting some resources together to help your folks understand - but if you get a good therapist first they should be able to help you out here.

[Little Darkling]

Best of luck to you, really!

I'd have to say you either need to have a real sit-down talk with your Dad, or find some way to let him know that this isn't just a 'phase' that you're going through and that it's the real deal, and not something he can convince himself, or you, is going to end anytime soon.

Therapists will often offer to have family sessions where they will act as sort of intermediaries between two parties, i.e. you and your family. Your family can have some negative reactions to this path, but at the very least you can get your feelings out in the open.

Good luck! <3

[cynthialee]

"So Dad are you a qualified therapist?"
      no
"Then what makes you think you are even remotely qualified to say anything to me about my gender?"

[alexia elliot]

Madison, hi hon, it looks to me your dad is doing what majority of dads would do, by any cost keep you who you are! He doesn't understand that you are a woman, and if he has a faint understanding he would still keep the pressure for you to go on into the manhood. You must understand him as well, the whole situation, "my son is now my daughter guys". All he is doing is obey natures laws. OK, now about you, you are absolutely right by focusing on therapy and psychologist who not only can help you sort your things out but also can enlighten your parents to your reality. Somehow, when the news comes from "Professional", it makes more sense to those listening. For you it is crucial you get transgender things in line, unfortunate for all of us but in order for transformation/assimilation to be hyper successful it needs to start as early as possible. I do not know your parents so advise here is not precise but if you can press your point across often without alienating them, do so. More you stress your condition more it will become norm. I am not professional at this so take this advice with grain of salt but I speak my mind with love to you. Alexia. 

[Angel On Acid]

Im really sorry to hear that this is happening I think part of transitioning involves convincing your family that you really do feel that way. They just dont want to believe its true and will try and tell themselves otherwise. My parents just told me it was a phase because i was 17 at the time and my mum told me i was a disappointment. Best of luck with your situation and i hope your family starts to believe you soon.

[lilacwoman]

your dad has a lifetime of being male and enjoying it and he may have been there the momnet the midwife helped you into the world, sow your minipenis and told him 'you've got a son.' That was branded on his brain and its been reinforced every day since then as you grew up to look quite like him...trying to get his head round the idea that the midwife was wrong must be really hard on parents.
Your best bet is to get to a therapist who can help figure you out and then help him to get used to the idea that you really aren't a boy.   It isn't easy.

[wayz]

lol lilacwoman is funny cracked me up
Post Merge: June 10, 2010, 01:58:29 PM
I used to secretly cross dress when I was 12-13. I felt so sexually aroused to see myself with women's clothes. I remember once I was doing makeup on myself and felt so good