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Really down about my voice.

Started by Kurzar, December 07, 2009, 03:10:12 AM

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Kurzar

I normally do not use voice chat in my gaming, but I've had a lot of people I group with in lord of the rings use voice during our group and my kin members asking me to come into ventrilo voice chat.  I usually back out because my voice is to high pitch and I hate it.  I finally gave in and installed vent and have been talking to a couple people from my kin, except tonight one of the guys referred to me as 'she' and I had to correct him. He was like sorry you just sound so much like a girl. It just put me into a spiral depression.

I have no medical insurance and i'm so desperate to get my change more under way (T, therapy ect).  I battle suicide all the time but times like this just make me feel like I'm never gonna be me, so why stick around?
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justmeinoz

Maybe you should have said you were an elf if you are in character.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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NDelible Gurl

I wish you the best!

I have a fear of voice chat. My voice can sound feminine and yet that cursed (in my case) male tenor will find its way out at times. I need to seriously get down on this and work on it! It is hard to deal with and many nights I cry before I fall asleep. Still... I feel that life is beautiful and like the Algebra problems I'm working through these things can be worked through :)  I know cheesy metaphor. lol but hang in there! Things will only get better in time :)

{{{hugs}}}
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Kurzar

Thanks. I'm not an optimistic person and I got so much shtuff going on in my life besides the TS shtuff that it weighs down on me horridly.  Every day I feel like i'm hanging by a thin thread and my feet are close to the edge with toes over it.

Tasha-   Every voice changer i've heard sounds awful and I don't want to sound like i'm using something. That just makes people wonder about you.  I want to sound like ME...not a weird computer :/  Oh and no i'm never in character when I talk. I don't RP while gaming.
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Kurzar

Time....it's something I don't feel like I have much left of.  In the end I suppose it doesn't matter much, but thank you.
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sarahm

Don't worry about it. That guy is probably a junkie. I would just keep going at what I was doing and practice trying to lower your voice more. You can do it!

I'm personally going to try and practice my female voice (Oh god how it needs work lol) I'll be sure to let yall know how it goes =]

~SarahM
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Nero

Hi Kurzar,

I don't know your plans for T or not, but T will fix this almost in an instant. I know the wait sucks though. I had to wait years for T due to medical complications. But yeah, I commiserate. The voice thing really bites pre-T.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Kurzar

Quote from: Tasha Elizabeth on December 07, 2009, 02:52:57 PM
i had a very good voice changer.  like i said, i tweaked resonance just enough...it didnt sound fake at all.  but anyway.

why are you out of time?
Probably best I just not go into details about how I feel.

Quote from: Nero on December 08, 2009, 04:38:00 AM
Hi Kurzar,

I don't know your plans for T or not, but T will fix this almost in an instant. I know the wait sucks though. I had to wait years for T due to medical complications. But yeah, I commiserate. The voice thing really bites pre-T.

I want T desperately. I just don't have medical insurance amongst other huge financial constraints *sighs*
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Shazny2010

Really? When I talk on the phone people say "excuse me Ma'am" or "thank you Ma'am" and I just turn red because I thank god my voice is still high pitched that there is faith in being a woman!! Don't give up I have to watch myself to see how I talk so I don't sound like my voice has cracked which it has yet to and im almost 18 already. 
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Kurzar

Quote from: Tasha Elizabeth on December 11, 2009, 02:10:25 AM

well, any time you wish to, i am here to listen.

Thanks....mostly I have a hard time expressing my feelings and am wicked introverted. I don't usually talk much
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LordKAT

shy + furry = interesting

was going to say something else but I want to stay out of trouble

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Kurzar

Quote from: LordKAT on December 12, 2009, 02:09:33 AM
shy + furry = interesting

was going to say something else but I want to stay out of trouble

Never said I was shy
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LordKAT

my bad, i took introverted as shy.
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Kaori

Quote from: Kurzar on December 07, 2009, 03:10:12 AM
I normally do not use voice chat in my gaming, but I've had a lot of people I group with in lord of the rings use voice during our group and my kin members asking me to come into ventrilo voice chat.  I usually back out because my voice is to high pitch and I hate it.  I finally gave in and installed vent and have been talking to a couple people from my kin, except tonight one of the guys referred to me as 'she' and I had to correct him. He was like sorry you just sound so much like a girl. It just put me into a spiral depression.

I have no medical insurance and i'm so desperate to get my change more under way (T, therapy ect).  I battle suicide all the time but times like this just make me feel like I'm never gonna be me, so why stick around?

Hi Kurzar!

I am currently playing Aion though I'm pretty familiar with LOTRO as well.  Nice MMORPG!
I have been gaming several years now, and have tried quite a few.  Although I realize the gaming issue may not your largest concern, I can definitely relate through similar experience and still have a fairly difficult time with my voice as well.

I was 'outted' once in voice chat.  In fact, that's why I've been hesitant to hop back onto 'vent' or whatever, but at least it's not totally out of the question now.  For the past couple years though, I simply told guildies I can listen to them on vent if they require it but I won't be speaking.

Most of them (guildies) have been really cool about it.  If they aren't, I can either give in and hook up the mic, or stand my ground (even without excuse or reason given).  Unless you're a raid leader or similar, they should be able to respect your decision if you decide to stand your ground.  If not... it's your choice from there.

Anyway, that may not help you at this point but I thought I'd share my experience with it.

Getting 'outted' like that can be a real downer... but don't let that get your confidence down.  And don't give up - it IS worth waiting for in my opinion... even though my life is far from perfect, my world has definitely changed for the better even though it was hell at first.  (Perhaps my own private hell was the worst part, looking back).
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Kurzar

Thank you Kaori!

I uninstalled ventrilo and if anyone asks again my story is I no longer have a mic and i'm gonna stick to it.  I'm a casual player not really a hard time raider and my kin does do raids but not a mandatory thing.

Appreciate the story, a lot.
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Tsakara

Alternately you can do what I do, make sure to follow these steps in order:

1. pretend you have a bad mic
2. get new mic, complain that it must be something with your computer that makes you sound like a dude.
3. get called out on it and confess
4. Get name called and teased on vent for a period of 6 months to 1 year.
5. Become emotionally dead.
6. troll 4chan
7. ????
8. Profit!
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Elijah3291

I hate my voice as well, but think of it this way, the transwomen's voices never change on hormones, so us guys are lucky and should be thankful for it.

you will be on T soon, suicide means you will die as a "woman" and you dont want to be remembered as that.

if it makes you feel any better, I was in my dorm with my (female) roommate, and we had a guest, and when she left she said "goodbye ladies!" ew! and she knows I'm trans
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Lachlann

I just say I don't have a mic. I'm not required to speak during raids anyway, only the raid leader is.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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Kurzar

Quote from: Lachlann on December 15, 2009, 09:33:32 PM
I just say I don't have a mic. I'm not required to speak during raids anyway, only the raid leader is.

Yeah, and I don't see myself being a raid leader anytime soon lol. I'm actually quite thankful about that now.
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rejennyrated

Ok using a few basic sound engineering principles I really can solve this for you.

Amongst my many talents I used to be a BBC TV recording engineer. (My first job in television). One thing we were taught on our first training course was about the use of various different types of microphone and how to exploit them to get the desired sound profile for an artist or actor.

For you there is a very useful little effect called BASS TIP-UP - it's basically exploited a lot by sports comentators who want to sound butch, and by that man from hollywood who does all the action film trailers, you know the ones that start with a line, in a deep resonant voice, like:

"it was a time for heroes...."  ;D

The trick is to get a proper lip mic (this is literally a mic so insensitive that the only way it picks up you voice is when it is in contact with your lips) If you speak into one of those - or indeed any mic held REAL close then you will get bass tip-up and your voice will naturally sound a lot more resonant and much deeper. They can be bought from any decent sound recording shop and they aren't that expensive.

By contrast if you were an MtF looking for the reverse effect what you would need is a sensitive and selective hypercardioid mic placed at some distance away (because a distant mic always loses the bass frequencies.)

I hope I haven't made that sound to complex. It's actually quite simple

Close mic when you want lots of bass
Distant mic when you want to lose it!

Try it - I promise you it works.  :)
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