Therapy?

[Davina]

Does therapy really help? Does it make you understand who you are? Will it make it easier for me to start transitioning. Perhaps someone can tell me how therapy changed their lives.

[Hannah]

It most certainly helps. I used to have the same attitude and questions, but reality took my cute little green panties and firmly pulled them up to my ears in the most epic cosmic wedgie ever. Now I go to group once a week and individual therapy the day after.

Stuff is going to change, that's the whole point right? There's a girl on these forums who hasn't had a day of therapy, self administers her hrt with the strangest regimen I've ever seen. She got fired from her job and ended up hooking on the street and basically went off the deep end. I'm inclined to think she could have avoided a lot of pain and drama if she had just seen someone every week who could have pointed out the deep flaws in her thinking mechanisms and helped her approach transition from a healthier standpoint.

My own thinking became quite warped as I dealt with being in a boys body for 30 years and when the hrt melted away my walls I completely lost it. Weekly therapy has been invaluable to me and literally saved my life.

I really dislike the ease with which we say "go see a therapist" around here, because to me that translates into "I don't know and I don't want to think about your problem." However it's value cannot be understated, we can offer support but only a couple of us are psychologists and it's seriously worth it, worth it, worth it.

[tekla]

I think a good therapist (one you are comfortable enough with to tell the truth to) can do several things
1. Make sure that the GID is only GID and is not being compounded by other problems that might get in the way of an effective GID resolution.
2.  If they have done a lot of gender work they will have a solid knowledge of the path forward, including what hoops you might have to jump through, which seem to variety a lot depending on location and other factors.
3.  If you are honest, and they are good, you may well gain a lot of insight into yourself and how you view and interact with the world on not only a trans basis, but a general one too.

[Debra]

Just make sure you find the right therapist experienced with GID and following WPATH standards.

For me, I saw a therapist from my church...he had a degree, not sure if it was just a Bachelor's or if he did have an MA or not yet...I know he was working on something still. But he was of the opinion that GID didn't exist and that everything about my feelings could be explained by how I was raised in some way.....essentially repairative therapy.

After that path led to a suicide attempt, I decided to look elsewhere for a counselor who actually had experience with GID. My main goal was to find self acceptance of who and what I was. My new counselor was great and helped me find that self acceptance very quickly but she was willing to support me in any decision I made...whether it was transitioning or continuing suppression of some sort. She said it was my life.

Now that I've found self acceptance, I've been trying to narrow down issues I'm having or emotions I'm feeling to discuss with her because I want to get more out of therapy than simply the "letters" I need from her (for HRT, SRS).

[Janet_Girl]

When I first saw my therapist is was to find a way to make it stop.  GID was killing my marriage and I had to make it stop.  He told me that there was no way to make it stop, but maybe I could find a monthly outlet to help cope with it.  My wife would never hear of it, so I lied to her.  And when on with life.  Eventually it let to my last suicide attempt.  And that was the straw that broke the camels back with my wife.  We began closing out our life together.  Selling the house and splitting the proceeds.

At the first of 2008, we separated and I returned to the same therapist to begin transition.  He told me that he remembered me and that he knew I would be back.  In his words, "It is obvious that you are TS".  Since then I have grown into the woman I am today.  He has helped with letters and the acceptance of who I am.

Finding a good gender therapist and doors will spring open and you will begin to find peace.



Hugs and Love
Janet

[Naturally Blonde]

Does therapy really help? Does it make you understand who you are? Will it make it easier for me to start transitioning. Perhaps someone can tell me how therapy changed their lives.

I've never actually had therapy so I don't know if it helps or not? over here in England it was more bully boy tactics from psychiatrists at gender clinics in my day. 'Therapy' sounds like a relaxing word where you can unwind and let all your troubles out. Whenever I saw psychiatrists over here I felt far more suicidal after I had seen them than before I saw them.

[tekla]

Largely because therapy in the US is 'client centered' and subject to the whims of the patient and not National Health.  Makes a huge difference.

[rejennyrated]

I'm sure it can help, if someone has confusions or concerns, or needs to address other issues that their gender problem has prevented them from being able to address.

I never really had Therapy - instead like Naturally Blonde, in the later 1970's I fought a full thermonuclear war with one psychiatrist (John Randall), and then a few years later more or less fell in love with a different psychiatrist who remains to this day one of my best friends.

Niether of those extremes is probably medically ideal - but from the first I got no help, just a lot of pain and suffering, whilst from the second I got lots of support and understanding, and more importantly because he really listened to me and correctly understood where I was at, he cut through all the red tape and gave me my life back!

Would it have helped me to spend a lot of time talking? No! I am absolutely convinced that, for me personally, it wouldn't. I always knew what I was doing, I knew what I wanted and why. More importantly because, by fluke or incredible luck, I had effectively transitioned in childhood I didn't have any other blocked up problems.

But for some people yes I think it probably can help. This is a big step. You want to be sure that you know what you are doing, why you are doing it, and that it is right for you.

[Naturally Blonde]

I never really had Therapy - instead like Naturally Blonde, in the later 1970's I fought a full thermonuclear war with one psychiatrist (John Randall), and then a few years later more or less fell in love with a different psychiatrist who remains to this day one of my best friends.

Niether of those extremes is probably medically ideal - but from the first I got no help, just a lot of pain and suffering, whilst from the second I got lots of support and understanding, and more importantly because he really listened to me and correctly understood where I was at, he cut through all the red tape and gave me my life back!

Would it have helped me to spend a lot of time talking? No! I am absolutely convinced that, for me personally, it wouldn't. I always knew what I was doing, I knew what I wanted and why. More importantly because, by fluke or incredible luck, I had effectively transitioned in childhood I didn't have any other blocked up problems.

But for some people yes I think it probably can help. This is a big step. You want to be sure that you know what you are doing, why you are doing it, and that it is right for you.

Jenny, I think we were both driven down similar paths in the earlier days of the NHS gender clinic simario and my experiences were also pretty horrendous. Unfortunitely I was ill advised at the time by my GP to go through the NHS system. This was full of stumbling blocks and carrot on a stick mentality. John Randall was a bit before my time but I have heard bad reports about him.

I eventually went private and saw Russell Reid who was completely different and very professional. Although I wouldn't in any way consider myself finished I don't attend any kind of gender clinic or psychiatric supervision.

[Cindy]

I agree with becca.
Therapy is so different from country to country, as Naturally Blonde (you Ok hun?) pointed out in the UK it sounds terrible. In the USA it sounds organised. In Australia it seems to be different in every state and city.

The expression ( and I have used it) Go find a good therapist is a bit loaded. How to define good, what is a therapist, and how do you find them is a problem.

Cindy

[Arch]

I think a good therapist (one you are comfortable enough with to tell the truth to) can do several things
1. Make sure that the GID is only GID and is not being compounded by other problems that might get in the way of an effective GID resolution.
2.  If they have done a lot of gender work they will have a solid knowledge of the path forward, including what hoops you might have to jump through, which seem to variety a lot depending on location and other factors.
3.  If you are honest, and they are good, you may well gain a lot of insight into yourself and how you view and interact with the world on not only a trans basis, but a general one too.

This.

And I can relate to what Naturally Blonde is saying, too. Fifteen years ago, I swore off therapy for life after the guy I was seeing royally f***ed me over. I think he had good intentions (unlike the practitioners NB seems to know), but the effect was devastating. I needed therapy but couldn't go through it again because I was in full self-preservation mode. I was never going to make myself that vulnerable again. In fact, I used to be so anti-therapist that I...well, this is embarrassing, but I was often not very understanding when people told me that THEY were in therapy. I thought they must be such pathetic people, to entrust their lives and sanity to one of those bloodsucking creatures.

So I never thought I would say this, but I'll say it again and again: my current therapist saved MY life and my sanity. If you get the right person and are willing to work, you can definitely improve your life.

I'm still struggling with lots of issues, some of them trans issues and some not. But without my therapist...well, I don't think I'd be alive today, and I sure as heck wouldn't have transitioned. Finally. And now I'm dealing with my baggage instead of compartmentalizing it or repressing it altogether.

I'll get there eventually. And he'll be with me every step of the way.

[K8]

I had a lot of issues besides just having GID.  It has really helped me to have someone I could talk to about them, who would ask me cogent questions, who I could unload on, who I could be perfectly honest with, and who would not place all sorts of value judgements on me.  I tend to spiral inward and lose my way if I don't have someone who will ask a question that makes me think now and then.

I've been through several therapists.  When I found one was no longer helpful I found another.  One of these days I won't need to go anymore, but I'm not quite there yet.

- Kate

[Naturally Blonde]

This.

And I can relate to what Naturally Blonde is saying, too. Fifteen years ago, I swore off therapy for life after the guy I was seeing royally f***ed me over. I think he had good intentions (unlike the practitioners NB seems to know), but the effect was devastating. I needed therapy but couldn't go through it again because I was in full self-preservation mode. I was never going to make myself that vulnerable again. In fact, I used to be so anti-therapist that I...well, this is embarrassing, but I was often not very understanding when people told me that THEY were in therapy.

My point really was that I didn't ever get any therapy. I saw a London NHS  psychiatrist who's aim was to grill and interigate me and try and trip me up on something. He was Also preocupied with what I was wearing and didn't have any interest in mine or anyone else's welfare if they were GD or not. In his letter to my GP it was a very unprofessional letter all about what I was wearing and notthing about the issue's relating to GD.

When you first start out trying to come to terms with your GD, you do not want to be bullied or told they won't help you get started on HRT. After two years of constant abuse and bullying enough was enough and I left the NHS and went private to start on HRT. The U.K has a very negitive attitude towards anyone who is GD, especially the NHS. They see it as a mental health illness only.

[NDelible Gurl]

At this point in my stage I'd say that I need to set an appointment with a therapist. I get my things done through the Indian Health Services so the quality isn't all that great 

Still I've been going through a lot over the course of my life. I did have to do a  mandatory therapist session for a different reason back in the nineties for six months. I got a lot out of that time and my therapist was a godsend! Now for the mtf reasons I need to make some kind of sense with things that happened in the past that affect me today. Those kind of things need some ironing out. Some of those experiences are pretty traumatic so any advice of "just think of something else" is pretty much ruled out.

I'm ready to move forward with my life. I need a little help getting going is what I'm getting at