Editing Our Past

[Autumn]

"how old were you when you got your first period?"
"how did your mom decide to tell you about the birds and the bees?"
"what was your first boyfriend like?"
"where did you end up with stretch marks?"
"don't you think transsexuals are really gross - they look like men in dresses"

1) Yeah I'd probably go with the birth defect thing. Which would probably get a response of "you are SOOOOO LUCKY", because that's what my GG friends tell me as is. When nurses ask me when my last period was I tell them I don't have ovaries and they either shrug, or ask me when my hysterectomy was. "No, I was born without them."
2) I just started asking her about sex at a very young age and she told me what she felt was appropriate at the times.
3) The vast majority of my partners have been girls, I haven't had an official boyfriend yet.
4) Inner thighs, god DAMNIT.
5) So far I haven't been asked this directly and I just keep quiet in these conversations for pragmatist's sake.

[Arch]

Oh and one more thing *giggles* ...it's funny but after all these years and all the conversations I've had with my female friends, no one has ever asked me "how old I was when I had my first period" or "what kind of feminine pads I use" or "how come women's urine stream sounds differently than men's" or about my "carrying angle" .  Sorry to say (and laugh ) but I have only heard those types of conversations/insinuations/allusions HERE on a TRANS site. 

I've never heard apparent cisgenders talking about pee streams or anything like that, but I've been asked about menstrual stuff a number of times, and I've had no reason to suspect that the questioners were anything but cisgender females. They were usually people I knew quite well. The queries were always polite and came up when the person was talking about herself. Pregnancy/abortion has come up a couple of times. Feminine protection has come up a bunch of times, too many to count. Menopausal symptoms, a couple of times. I was always able to be matter-of-fact about it all until my coping mechanisms started to break down.

Frankly, I'm surprised that you've never once encountered such questions! That strikes me as odd. But perhaps my experience has not been typical.

[Teknoir]

I've encountered those type of questions when thrown in with a bunch of women.

I just lied, even in the past, because I couldn't handle answering them truthfully. Questions like that just made me sick (when aimed at myself - other people talking about it doesn't have the same effect). I had no idea how to deal with that.

It's a relief not to deal with that anymore.

Though I did recently have to deal with someone cheekily pointing out that I have very small feet.... and what that generally denotes  .

[sneakersjay]

I just edit and avoid pronouns if possible.

Ex becomes just that, my ex, without pronouns.  I talk about when I was a kid, because most of the stuff I did was cool kid stuff (I was a tomboy).  I just filter to avoid gender stuff.

Gonna be interesting next week.  I'm going to visit an old college buddy I haven't seen in 25 years.  He knows of my transition and has been nothing but supportive.  I'm hoping he doesn't mess the pronouns up.  I sure look NOTHING like the person he knew then, and don't look remotely anything close to female at this time.  We shall see.


Jay

[kelliBennett]

I personally am not going to have an issue editing my past. Pronouns will change mostly, but I was the Artist, Drama kid in HS. All my work history can still be told from my point of view.

The thing that struck me recently is no one knows who I really am, so I would rather move forward being my self and forging a new story rather then continue to live this lie that I currently am living now.

[Ms Jessica]

I just let people assume I'm a lesbian.  My wife and I don't particularly label ourselves that way as I have not always physically been female, but it works for other people.  If someone doesn't know that I used to be a man, I don't make a point of correcting them.  But I'll talk about girlfriends in college, or my wife.  I also never did stereotypical boy things-- I was never in the military, and I never played football-- so there's not much for me to edit. 

[YoungSoulRebel]

I just tend to only bring up things at appropriate moments, and some things only around certain people -- like my Prom Horror.

But since the feminist movement, little girls are now given more gender liberty than boys, so much of my past really isn't that "gendered" -- think about it, how many people here honestly believe that female-identified tomboys are somehow perverse, or that little girls "shouldn't be" into science or dinosaurs.  If I'm being read as "man", then my Science Genius Girl past doesn't seem weird, I just leave out pronouns and the rare gendered comment my parents actually got about it; if I'm being read as "woman", people will simply think my parents were awesome for encouraging me and breaking outdated stereotypes.

So, yeah, i don't "edit" much, but I'm sure that's easier for me than it is for most TS women.


...and when I do pass as "man", I tend to get read as "flamer", so saying things like "my first boyfriend" just gets responses of "woah, you're parents were cool with that?"  To which I can honestly say "yes, they were".  This may seem contradictory when considering some of the other stories i have about my family, but I figure most people assume I was just using shorthand for "well... my parents weren't surprised, let's put it that way".  And ex-boyfriends of my adulthood don't surprise anybody.  If anything, it may surprise people I meet if I were to edit these bits to reverse genders, or they may silently be inserting "boyfriend" when I say "ex".