I finally FINALLY grew the balls to find myself a therapist, and initiate setting things up (so, y'know, I'll be able to grow some balls. Not literally though, sadly). Put money in the bank to pay for it (which I scraped together) and spent two days filling out background information. Family life, experiences, future expectations, the whole shebang. Sent it off. Now I can't think of anything except WHEN am I gonna get contacted back? It's driving me up the wall.
I've thought so hard and hesitated so long on getting myself to a therapist, and now I'm so impatient I'm sitting here jittering about it. I feel silly. (Although I'm sure shivering from the cold isn't helping much!)
At least I got something started. I'll honestly admit that I'm a little on the terrified side - that something will go wrong, that I won't be able to get therapy, that I won't get my letter for T, that my life experiences up until this point will somehow disqualify me. Maybe even that I'll get branded a nutcase and tossed onto a ward. But at least I've taken this first step. Even if I can't stop jittering about it, I still feel a lot better.
