College.

[Lucas]

Ok I have a bunch of questions regarding trans life at colleges...

- Is there any way to apply for a gender neutral dorm without having your parents know?
- How do you tell your housemates/the adult running the dorm about your preferred pronouns/name?
- I know that some colleges offer health insurance coverage for trans kids who need $ for hormones and all that. How would you apply for it?

I won't be going to college for a few more years, but it'd be nice to know as much of this as possible at a sooner time like now. If anyone -- specifically US college students -- could help me out with this then that would be great! thanks

[Quicksand]

1.) What I did was submit the application as female, and then on my own afterwards I called the department of resident life at the university I was going to attend.  Resident Life professionals are very, VERY sympathetic to the LGBT population.  I work for resident life at my university, and at least 75% of the staff actually is lgbt, and that's common at almost every university.  let them know the situation and let them know your parents can't find out.  they'll be respectful of that and work within those giudelines to get you where you need to be.

2.) I didn't do this--instead, I worked with the resident life department and the office of LGBT affairs at my university to get my name officially changed before I matriculated.  however, if that's not an option, just go for blunt so it sticks in their head.  either "hey, my records say sally but I go by steve."  or "hey, my records say sally but I'm trans, so I go by steve."

3.) google the health center at your university, call or email them, and ask if they offer it and if so how would you get it.

best of luck!

[gilligan]

1.) Not all colleges have gender-neutral housing. I know mine doesn't. It may be something to consider when choosing a college/university. I live in women's housing, and it has been alright for me although some of my trans friends haven't been as fortunate. I know an MTF who had more than 10 roommates in a year because of her roommates having been transphobic. My advice for you if your college doesn't have gender neutral housing: find roommates who are female and supportive of you, maybe from high school or something like that.

2.) I would just introduce yourself as whatever you prefer to be called. That's what I do. RA's (resident assistants) are required to take part in training about all sorts of things, including diversity and conflict resolution. An RA is a student who is the head of the area that you live in, like in my case it is the floor I live on. They are the go-to person if you have problems with anyone you live with. They are the person who you will have the most direct contact with in housing.

3.) I know my college sent out an application for health insurance during the summer before classes start. I don't know anything about specifics since I am under my parents insurance. But just like any other insurance in the US, it may or may not cover trans-related healthcare.

[ilanthefirst]

The answers to your first and third questions differ by school.  When you're looking at which schools to apply to, call the admissions department of each school and ask them; they'll probably route you to the relevant departments at that school that know the policies better.

Anecdotally, I can answer that at my school (in the US), dorms are not divided by gender and about half have gender-neutral bathrooms, and everyone is enrolled in the same health insurance plan that includes trans-related care, although those with insurance through their parents can use that instead, and they almost never cover trans-related treatments.  Based on my experiences, I also have to disagree with Quicksand; the housing department is one of the least LGBTQ-friendly departments on campus and constantly needs other offices to force them to do the bare minimum.

[Arch]

The uni where I teach has a "gender-neutral" dorm geared toward LGBT students. You might do some research about similar options at various colleges across the country.

The Advocate has put out a college guide for LGBT students, but it was published in 2006 and is likely outdated now because many colleges have been making changes just in the last couple of years. But it's a place to start.

Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Advocate-College-Guide-LGBT-Students/dp/155583857X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289180131&sr=1-1.

If you scroll down a bit, you will find another potentially useful book put out by the Princeton Review.

Do you plan to choose a college specifically because it has good trans resources, or are your options more limited?

[Robert Scott]

Well, I have limited experience with this ... since I have begun my transition way later....

However, at both my son's school -- private college in Iowa & my son's friend who goes to a christian school in Minnesota ... they did not have gender neutral rooms... however both were offered single rooms in their identified gender dorms at the price of a double room.  They justified it as a medical necessity.  I also know that one parent of a mtf that attends a public university in Minnesota was given the same option.  You might be surprised at the accommodations schools will make...if the school doesn't work with you I would imagine it would not be a school you would want to attend.  You should feel comfortable being yourself at the school.

[sam1]

I agree with googling the LGBT part of the school and contacting them. They were "on leave" when I tried, so I emailed the person in charge of housing directly. I told her I was trans and that adequate housing was necessary, and she helped me out the whole way. If you can, request living in a single (might be more expensive) unit only. But try to find out if it will be on a gender specific hall/floor.

Something else to consider is that RAs tend to make signs for all of the incoming students doors with their name on it. So whatever name you applied with and are housing under, that is the name that will most likely be on your door the day you move in.

[Quicksand]

Yeah, as an RA myself I had to have the nametags up before anyone moved in.  However, as I greeted them during move-in, I let them know that I would happily change their nametag if they go by a different name.  If your RA doesn't do that, just take the nametag off, or make your own.  If you move in as early as possible you can catch it before anyone else sees it, or you could ask your university's department of resident life to let your future RA know.

Also, my school didn't have gender-neutral housing either...I simply let them know the situation and I was put on a male side of a floor in a room with a private bathroom.  Sweet deal.  Later I acclimated to public restrooms...just throw on some shorts or boxers and a t-shirt, and carefully drape a very fluffy towel over your shoulders for the walk to and from the showers so that your chest is hidden.  I've had entire conversations dressed like that.

You don't have to tell your RA everything (or anything...my RAs have never known I was trans).  But if people on your floor give you trouble they are the first person to go to, because they take stuff like that very seriously and will work with you to figure out a solution.  At least in most cases they should...if they don't, just go over their head to their supervisor(s).

[icontact]

emails. send lots of them. i've contacted all the colleges i will be applying to, and if they don't offer gender-neutral housing, they have all offered to place me in a single room or at least in the male suites. sometimes they will even offer the single room at a double rate. i am unsure how you would hide it from parents, but i suppose if you screen out the papers that say you're living in a male suite or who you're rooming with, it should be fine. and unless you don't pass well or the people are your direct roommates aka share an apt with you, i see no reason why they would even know you weren't a bio-guy, ie no need to come out.