Some transphobic comments I received on another site.

[Brynn]

This happened about a month ago on another site, but I thought I'd share it with you anyway. I'd like to preface this by saying this is an adult-oriented site. At the time, I had my profile listed on there as Trasgender and Straight. I also specified in my profile that I was male-identified.

First Message: "u really turn me on with your boish looks i would like to <not allowed> u in the ass and show u who's a real man"

My Response: "That's funny. I could have sworn you were straight. Your profile claims you are, anyway. Either way, unfortunately for you, I am too"

His Response: "yes iam straight and your a female, that's why i said, i will show u who's a real man. Because u think your one and your not. u have a pussy between your legs if u recall. your boish looks just make it that more interesting as it makes me fantasize that i'am ->-bleeped-<-ing a dude when in reality it's a chick, which is what i'am into. butchy looking girls who are in need of love such as yourself, whom been rejected by guy's for lack of feminemity."

It was about this time I reported him. Thankfully, the staff of the site took it very seriously and agreed it was reprehensible. They said they'd speak to the member about his behavior.

What was hilarious was that he sent me one more message.

"brynn what's up. Just wanted to say hello. Hope u got my message yesterday, i was a little concerned about u hope i did not hurt your feelings."

My friends I told were all infuriated and appalled. In hindsight, I consider his horrific typing abilities to be even more insulting than the messages' actual content.

[Renate]

I wouldn't really say "transphobic", more clueless.
It seems to me that he doesn't even realize that he is being offensive.
Sigh.
He does certainly perpetuate the cliché that all any female body needs is sex by a talented male (always the speaker).

[Teknoir]

Sounds like a self-hating gay man in denial.

I mean, he wants to **firetruck** a guy in the **airport**. That's pretty blantant.

I think he's just trying to pick up transguys so he has a flimsy excuse to justify it to himself. If he ever succeeds, he's in for a very rude shock.

If he really wanted an ugly desperate chick to cater to his low self esteem (as he claims), there's easier and more fruitful avenues to persue than chasing an FTM!


What I wonder is - Given that the universe is infinite, and given that "God" is also infinite... has a message like his EVER worked as a pickup speech?

[Automixes]

Sounds like a self-hating gay man in denial.

I mean, he wants to **firetruck** a guy in the **airport**. That's pretty blantant.

I think he's just trying to pick up transguys so he has a flimsy excuse to justify it to himself. If he ever succeeds, he's in for a very rude shock.

I was thinking the same thing as I was reading that. He likes people who a) look like men, b) identify as men) and he c) wants to have anal sex with these clearly male people. Hmmmm. Somebody's got some self-loathing going on there and is trying to project it on others.

[Brynn]

I wouldn't really say "transphobic", more clueless.
It seems to me that he doesn't even realize that he is being offensive.
Sigh.
He does certainly perpetuate the cliché that all any female body needs is sex by a talented male (always the speaker).

How is it not transphobic if he's telling me I only think I'm a man, and reinforcing my so-called "real" gender based on my genitals?

[Teknoir]

How is it not transphobic if he's telling me I only think I'm a man, and reinforcing my so-called "real" gender based on my genitals?

I'd say he's being transphobic if he was threatening to kill you, hurt you, protest to ban what you are doing, have you jailed, kick you out of somewhere, or otherwise strip you of your civil liberties because he is unnerved by people who are "different" than him.

This guy just sounds like he doesn't understand, and isn't willing to learn. He also sounds in need of a little adjustment via clue-by-four. It's your typical moronic gay person in denial style ->-bleeped-<-.

Regarding "adult" sites - if you don't want to be taken for a piece of meat, don't hang from a hook in the butchers shop window.

[Autumn]

Him telling you that you're a woman is not him being transphobic. It's him being in denial.

Bro I only like doin' chicks who look like men in the ass I ain't queer or nothin'.

[Brynn]

You guys can stand for those kinds of comments if you'd like, but I don't. The caretaker I contacted agreed with me that it was highly inappropriate. Nor does it being an adult-oriented site make it any more appropriate. It is not even a "personals"-type site. Nor do I have any nude images of myself. I use it strictly for discussion.

But like I said, if you guys wanna take that stuff, be my guest. Just know that that kinda stuff is likely to only get worse.

[Laura91]

That guy sounds like a total idiot.

[Alyssa M.]

Um ... wtf? ... How on earth is anyone trying to justify that, even partly?

Yes, he's probably gay. He's also definitely violently transphobic and misogynist. (Yes, both.) Furthermore, he's an Internet blowhard. He's probably clueless too. Ignorance and bigotry typically go hand-in-hand.

I wouldn't give a jerk like this more than a moment's consideration. Report the bastard, call him a pathetic closet case, and move on with your life. Which is pretty much what it sounds like you did.

I think it's sad, though, that you come here looking for some support and get brushed off.

[Lachlann]

You guys can stand for those kinds of comments if you'd like, but I don't. The caretaker I contacted agreed with me that it was highly inappropriate. Nor does it being an adult-oriented site make it any more appropriate. It is not even a "personals"-type site. Nor do I have any nude images of myself. I use it strictly for discussion.

But like I said, if you guys wanna take that stuff, be my guest. Just know that that kinda stuff is likely to only get worse.

I don't think anyone is saying you should stand for it, just that he isn't exactly being transphobic in their opinions. That doesn't mean he isn't a jerk or that he should be tolerated for his actions, you see? He doesn't have to necessarily be transphobic to be in the wrong or say something inappropriate to someone in your situation.

He sounds more misogynist to me, but he could very well be both and I don't think it really matters. Ignorance and pride is the matter at hand here, and I can't really stomach it from anyone. At least the staff was willing to work with you to resolve it.

[Alyssa M.]

i will show u who's a real man

See, that's where I'm getting transphobic. Also misogynist.

It might not be as violent as, say, the pathetic excuse for a human being that killed Angie Zapata, but it's transphobic nontheless. It says, "I don't give a damn who you say you are, and I'm going to show you that my opinion is more important than your reality." Okay, maybe it's not "phobic" in the sense of "inducing irrational panic," but that's not how we usually use the terms "transphobic" or "homophobic."

[Chamillion]

I'm with Brynn, that is definitely transphobic.  You don't have to be threatening to hurt or kill someone for it to be transphobic.  Someone telling you that you're not really a man because you're trans is transphobia.  It works the same way as all other forms of discrimination.  I know a couple people who are racist, they don't want to kill people of others races, they just look down on them and believe in certain stereotypes.  That doesn't make them not racist.

Brynn I'm sorry you have to deal w/ that, the best thing to do is just pay him no mind.  He's probably just trying to get a rise out of you, show him you don't care what he says

[Automixes]

See, that's where I'm getting transphobic. Also misogynist.

It might not be as violent as, say, the pathetic excuse for a human being that killed Angie Zapata, but it's transphobic nontheless. It says, "I don't give a damn who you say you are, and I'm going to show you that my opinion is more important than your reality." Okay, maybe it's not "phobic" in the sense of "inducing irrational panic," but that's not how we usually use the terms "transphobic" or "homophobic."

I agree with this. Also, even if we can see motives/reasoning behind what he said aside from transphobia (like the fact that this is likely a man who is self-loathing about his own homosexual desires) that doesn't change that what he said was extremely hurtful and disturbing. It was a denial of Brynn's manhood and a belittlement of who he is and framed in a sexual "I'll show you" sort of way, which is downright threatening. Luckily it was only over the 'net and the staff on that site took it seriously.

[SarahFaceDoom]

There's a guy on a forum I post at who constantly is talking about my genitalia in almost any thread I post in.

He's an idiot though, I either ignore him, or make fun of him.

I love "straight" guys who want to have you firetruck them in the airport and use that as a way to somehow insult you.

I'm comfortable with my gender history, so it's just like I don't even know how "you're a transsexual" stuff is supposed to bug me.  It's like telling a gay person how gay they are.  Usually it's very easy to flip mental giants like this backwards in on themselves.

[rejennyrated]

I'm comfortable with my gender history, so it's just like I don't even know how "you're a transsexual" stuff is supposed to bug me.  It's like telling a gay person how gay they are.  Usually it's very easy to flip mental giants like this backwards in on themselves.

Very true.

A jerk remains a jerk however clever they try to be.

I do understand why Brynn got upset though. It's never nice when someone pirck on you for whatever the reason.

[MRH]

Transphobic or not transphobic the guy was being a d**khead and even I feel a little offended as I would go mental if that was said to me.  He probably thought he was being big and clever in front of his mates for typing that. Some people just dont seem to realise how much these things really hurt.

[gennee]

Brynn, I believe this person is transphobic. He also doesn't have a clue. From reading his post, he doesn't respect you for who you are. By the fact the he "want to show that he's a real man", he's insecure about himself. I don't blame you for the way you feel because you're right.

Gennee

[jesse]

Brynn first im sorry this thing contacted you i agree with your evaluation of it though
jessica