So I arrived at the courthouse for my hearing as my full-time female self in a fierce wind and rain, clutching for dear life my umbrella in one hand and my prettiest skirt in the other. Walked up the steps while the sheriff's deputies at the top merrily watched, enjoying the view of the ladies struggling with the wind. Overheard one deputy talking to another as I passed how much he enjoyed windy days. And me with the additional burden of a wig I prayed would stay intact and my file of papers and purse under my arm. I made it inside, amazingly, and through the security which included being wanded both front and back while passing through the metal detector. Dignity intact, I headed straight to the ladies room to compose myself and my appearance. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror, acknowledging to myself the accomplishment of where I was and how far I had come to be standing there alone in the courthouse ladies bathroom. I had made it and was within the hour of standing before the judge and public to declare my identity.
I went to the sixth floor and located the small courtroom where my hearing was and sat in a chair along the wall, back straight, legs crossed, head held high ...both excited in the aliveness of what I was doing and empowered. I was smiling and very happy. A contrast from the other poor souls there for divorce with looks of sadness and misery. After waiting for 15 minutes in the hall with the other people who had cases to be heard, the judge's clerk arrived, wheeling her cart full of case files. A line quickly formed and since I knew identification may be an issue I waited to be last. I seemed to be the only person who was solo. Identification was required, so when it was my turn I presented my drivers license having my male name and appearance. It was an old picture taken many years earlier at double the weight I am now. I was 300 lbs when that picture had been taken and now standing before the clerk at 155lbs, a slender, attractive woman. Even though the ID and me don't match, the clerk said nothing after looking at it and kept it until after my case was finished.
They asked everyone to enter the courtroom and the bailiff explained the coming proceedings and etiquette. It was a small courtroom, as I said, and intimate. There were three long rows of pew-like seats and a few chairs. I sat in one of the single chairs against a wall, in my wet leather black heels, and waited for it to begin. Thinking about what questions the judge may have and the answers I would give. There were about 30 other people there waiting for cases. We did not have long to wait, as the judge entered several moments later and we all stood and took an oath of truthfulness with our arms raised, while she sat and looked at us. My heart was beginning to beat fast. I was ready.
The cases were called, one at a time, and the parties stood before the judge answering questions from her. The men looking miserable and a few of the women in tears. None of the cases were disputed and the judge granted divorce after divorce. About halfway through, the judge called out my full legal male name and I stood and walked before her, and said 'good morning, your honor'. She asked me about a dozen typical questions, including spelling out my new name and I said 'yes Ma'am' to each except for a question about fraud. She looked at me and smiled and granted the petition. I now had my new name, it was glorious. Valerie lives.
