Does the 12 month RLE requirement make you feel vulnerable?

[Valeriedances]

How do you feel about the 12 month RLE requirement?

How strict are the surgeons regarding the 12 month RLE requirement? It looks like even the Thailand surgeons have stricter requirements beginning Nov of this year, due to new country laws. I am two months into transitioning at work and living full-time as a woman, and only 1 month since my name change was finalized. Do I really need to wait 10-11 more months? That seems so far from now. I suppose I know the answers I will receive with these questions already, so maybe I'm venting a little. I have been transitioning for so long. It seems like none of my pre-transition work counts.

I feel so vulnerable...

...living as a woman with an "M" on my DL.

...everyone at work knowing I am mixed gender.

...living with potential discrimination if I lose my job

...the scary vision of forced detransition to get another job if I lose this one.

...that my financial situation could change and my surgery savings used up to survive.

...at my age, 51, I might not have many years left.

There doesn't seem to be much in the way of humanitarian consideration given by the establishment to help us complete our journey without alot of risk to ourselves.

[Janet_Girl]

I feel for you, Valerie, but I am passed that.

D/L changed June 24, 2008
Name changed Sept. 04, 2008
Full Time began Sept. 13, 2008
Orchidectomy Nov. 06, 2009

My Orchie surgeon followed the SOC and require 12 months RLE and two letters.  Now when and if I can finance it SRS is next.

It was easier when I was working, have just been terminated in Sept., but I am taking the Winter to re-energize.  I will begin looking for a new job come Spring.  One thing that is in my favor is that the SSA changed my gender marker to female.

You will be fine, just keep your eye on the prize.  It will go by fast, trust me.


Janet

[CharleneT]

How do you feel about the 12 month RLE requirement?

How strict are the surgeons regarding the 12 month RLE requirement ... Do I really need to wait 10-11 more months? That seems so far from now.....

I did not know about the changes in Thailand, but am not surprised.  You'll find the surgeon's in the US to be pretty strict. In other countries it varies, some are even more strict

I too feel pretty vulnerable, but that is part of the "test" in a way... even after surgery etc, you'll still have things to deal with.

I feel so vulnerable...

...everyone at work knowing I am mixed gender.

that won't be changed by surgeries etc... a shorter RLE will not make it easier.

...living with potential discrimination if I lose my job

same same, unfortunately

...the scary vision of forced detransition to get another job if I lose this one.

ACK!  That is scary, hopefully it won't happen, if it did, maybe you would have good luck and find a new company that is TG friendly.

...that my financial situation could change and my surgery savings used up to survive.

I've just had that happen ... so can't raise much hope on it    BUT the  economy is getting better - slowly.  I hope you are able to protect your savings.

...at my age, 51, I might not have many years left.

I'm 52 - same feeling, but you've got to live your life with the decisions made and just move on.  Hindsight is 20/20 of course !

There doesn't seem to be much in the way of humanitarian consideration given by the establishment to help us complete our journey without alot of risk to ourselves.

Nope... but it is getting better, even within Corporate America.

[FairyGirl]

I am 9.5 months into my RLE and I firmly believe in it as a requirement before SRS. I'm more than ready for my surgery now, but a few more months isn't going to hurt anything. It has been an invaluable experience, and has proven to me that I can succeed at this, despite the hopelessness that told me I couldn't for so long. I too fear that something will prevent it finally happening, but I just have to believe that it will because it feels more right than anything I've ever done and I'm not even considering the alternative. Every day of RLE only strengthens that determination.

[Northern Jane]

Even back "in the old days" there was a requirement (from the surgeons) for a period of time lived in the target gender and I believe the idea was that you have a really good feeling and a realistic idea for what you are getting yourself into and what your life will be like.

When I had SRS in 1974 I think the 12 month "standard" was already the accepted norm. I had already lived part of my teens en femme (though not 12 contiguous months) so with my psyche evaluation, that was deemed adequate. I was 24 but at that point everybody was quite aware I wasn't going to make it to 25 so the rules got bent.

P.S. In those days living in a gender other than what was on your birth certificate made you pretty vulnerable to a whole lot of things anyway!

[Sandy]

Val:

The WPATH SOC recommendations for RLE are guidelines.  Depending on how well you are acclimating to life in your chosen gender your therapist may decide at some point that you do not have to put in all twelve months.

I was pleasantly surprised (read moved to tears) when my therapist told me that she would write my letter after having been seeing her for about six months.  I was completely prepared to do my twelve months and was shocked when she made her statement.

When I asked her about that, she said that the guidelines are set up to help the client, not set up roadblocks.

It sounds like you have your priorities straight and have made your decision based on your feelings and experiences.  You sound like you are making great progress in your life now as a woman.

Check with your surgeon to see if they will take pre-payment for the surgery dependent on eventual submission of the letters.  Getting the money out of your hands is probably the best way of insuring that regardless of how your life turns, you can still have your surgery.  That is what I did as well.

Best of luck!

-Sandy

[MaggieB]

My experiences agree with Sandy, my therapist gave me an SRS letter four months after I went full time. Then again, I was almost full time for years before, dressing in butchy women's clothes and sporting a shoulder length pony tail. In fact, people stared at me back then. I thought I was getting away with something. Then when I got a women's hairstyle put on lipstick and carried a handbag, that was all I did to go full time. People stopped staring and my life in public became normal again. RLE for me was a dream.

Maggie

[FairyGirl]

My therapist wrote my HRT letter on the second visit rather than the SOC recommended 12 visits. I also got both my therapist letters for SRS after 5 months. I was under the impression that it was the surgeon, in my case Dr. Christine McGinn (the same one as Sandy had I believe), that required the 12 months RLE. It may just be that she simply requires both letters but the full 12 months is not necessary. I will be 15 months full time at the time of my surgery, but that was due to my personal schedule rather than any doctor requirement.

[jesse]

you could tie it up in a cd with a muturity date around the time of srs funds needed plus heres an added bonus you could technically take out a loan using the cd to secure it. not much credit needed with this option since the cd covers the amount of the loan, pay your srs with the loan and make payments on it. therby preserving your original capital but then thats me working around the system heh
jessica

[Sandy]

you could tie it up in a cd with a muturity date around the time of srs funds needed plus heres an added bonus you could technically take out a loan using the cd to secure it. not much credit needed with this option since the cd covers the amount of the loan, pay your srs with the loan and make payments on it. therby preserving your original capital but then thats me working around the system heh
jessica

Damn!  I wish I had thought about that!

-Sandy

[tekla]

thats me working around the system

That's not working around the system, that IS the system.

[FairyGirl]

it's a great idea, I think I'll look into it.

[Naturally Blonde]

How do you feel about the 12 month RLE requirement?

I think over here it's about 2 years minimum. I'm actually on my 7th year of full time RLT and only recently managed to get my psychiatrists letters for SRS about a year ago. Although I did have particularly bad experiences with the NHS I still think 12 months should be the minimum for RLT requirements.

Post Merge: December 30, 2009, 08:29:40 AM

I feel for you, Valerie, but I am passed that.

D/L changed June 24, 2008
Name changed Sept. 04, 2008
Full Time began Sept. 13, 2008
Orchidectomy Nov. 06, 2009

My Orchie surgeon followed the SOC and require 12 months RLE and two letters.  Now when and if I can finance it SRS is next.

It was easier when I was working, have just been terminated in Sept., but I am taking the Winter to re-energize.  I will begin looking for a new job come Spring.  One thing that is in my favor is that the SSA changed my gender marker to female.

You will be fine, just keep your eye on the prize.  It will go by fast, trust me.


Janet

I changed all my ID over in 2003!

[Tristan]

Honestly yes  the 1 year can be really hard on some. If you have your letters and explain that you and your partners have needs some times the thai will make an exception . that's what I did I set up my date and told them I wont be able to make the November date but that me and my boyfriend have needs and really would like to take care of those needs a.s.a.p. since I refuse to do the whole back door thing. Just explain and you never know, every doctor is different