fears disappearing

[lauren3332]

I think I found what my real problem is with searching for therapy.  It wasn't really the problem that I didn't think I wasn't dysphoric enough, it is the idea that others won't believe me.  I am afraid a therapist won't believe me enough to give me the letter that is needed to move forward I guess.  It's not reallly that I myself was confused.  I guess I felt I needed proof for when and if my family starts asking questions of how come I was ok in the past I why I am different now.  So it was not really the fact that I needed it to be sure for me, but to help ease it over with other people.  So basically I confused myself more than I had to.

[gennee]

Congratulations on overcoming your fears, Lauren.


Gennee

[K8]

Yes, congratulations in working through your fears.

I've found this to be a confusing journey, especially in the beginning.  I saw the therapist as an aide to help me sort through the confusion.  I didn't see her as a gatekeeper but as someone to light the darkness so that I could get through all this.  We all approach this a bit differently, but I found there was a lot of work that I needed to do for myself before asking for the SRS letter.

It's a long, difficult journey, but the first steps are often the hardest, Lauren.  Congratulations on working through one of those.

- Kate

[chrysalis]

It took me a lot to finally tell mine and honestly it feels a lot better to be honest about myself. I hid for years as "bisexual" and was only able to discuss part of what I was going through which just made everything hurt more.

Congratulations on helping yourself!

[aubrey]

I didn't see mine as a gatekeeper and was open in heart and mind until she started testing and challenging me as if I had to prove something.

[lilacwoman]

I used to look in the mirror and see the male face and body and think no-way will they belioeve me...but they do and I'm on final lap of the race to the operation.

[MasterAsh]

I think I found what my real problem is with searching for therapy.  It wasn't really the problem that I didn't think I wasn't dysphoric enough, it is the idea that others won't believe me.  I am afraid a therapist won't believe me enough to give me the letter that is needed to move forward I guess.  It's not reallly that I myself was confused.  I guess I felt I needed proof for when and if my family starts asking questions of how come I was ok in the past I why I am different now.  So it was not really the fact that I needed it to be sure for me, but to help ease it over with other people.  So basically I confused myself more than I had to.

Yay, Lauren!

My therapist told me this when I expressed the same fear to her early on: "The only person that can stop anything is you." She's right; even if professionals seemingly bar one route, it's ultimately up to you whether you allow it to actually impede your progress.

I hope you keep leaping over those hurdles. 

[Alyssa M.]

A good therapist is not a gatekeeper, but someone who helps you to explore your options, consider each one's consequenses, understand your hopes and your fears, and build your confidence in whatever decision you end up making, without pre-judging what that decision might be.