Passing at Formal Occasions

[CodyJess]

I had the misfortune of being at a funeral today, where every single time I was addressed, it was as a male. I even got plucked out of the crowd to act as a pal-bearer (I think I spelled that right) since they were a person short. At a distance, up close, and even when i spoke; unless it was someone who already knew me, they saw me as a guy.

I guess clothes really can make the man. 

Anybody else, early in transition (or even pre-T like me) have better luck passing at a formal occasion than out on the street?

[Lachlann]

Yes actually, when I was 15. I have this nice silk jacket that my mom always pushes me to wear for such occasions, it's got a hand stitched Chinese dragon on the back. It was at a reception I think, but I passed quite well, even with my voice.

[tekla]

pallbearer, two 'L's and no hyphen.  And I think formal clothes are much more gendered, a tux vs. the classic LBD.  The street, anymore, not so much, so people look beyond the clothing in a way they don't in a formal situation.

[Lachlann]

True enough. Even the female versions of tuxes are styled differently.

[Elijah3291]

yea like others had said, formal clothes are very gendered.

a suit/tux is masculine, as long as you still have short hair, no boobs people will most likely think of you as male.

people wouldn't think that a girl would be wearing a mens tux that wasn't fitted to show off her curves/shape.

[kyle_lawrence]

the one time I really passed all night was at a theater, seeing Cirque du Soleil in Chicago. I wore a pair of mens dress pants, button down shirt and a tie, while my girlfriend was wearing a dress (she is also trans), and we both got called sir and miss correctly all night with ticket takers and ushers, and getting a drink after. Formal clothes really do make a difference.  I just wish I had a reason to wear a tie more often.

[Brynn]

It wasn't a "formal occasion" persay, but it was a family get-together at a restaurant Christmas Eve for which I decided to dress up. And I got a "sir" from the waiter about a minute after I got there. It was pretty exciting.

[tekla]

I just wish I had a reason to wear a tie more often

Two words: office work.

[Dante]

Tekla's right; formal clothes are more gendered. Whenever I have to go to a semi-formal event (never been to a "formal event" where I was required to wear nice clothes), I wear a button-down shirt that was my dad's (mine now ) and most people think I'm a guy. It's interesting how that works.

[Silver]

Suit + Short Hair = Male.

That said, I don't think I've tried to pass at a formal event. Didn't have a problem with my gender at any of the formal (or semi-formal) occasions I've been to.

[sneakersjay]

My brother sells cars and wears a tie every day.

I've experimented with wearing ties to work (see avatar).  My boss does, the managers do, but the rest of us don't.  I'm the only other guy in the office who even wears button-down shirts to work.  I should wear one more often to see if clients take me more seriously when wearing one than when I don't.


Jay

[Miniar]

I just wish I had a reason to wear a tie more often

Two words: office work.

No need, just throw convention to the wind and wear a tie whenever you bloody well want to!

[tekla]

Wearing a tie, without the suit, is just stupid.  Either go away or go all the way in.

[Radar]

I should wear one more often to see if clients take me more seriously when wearing one than when I don't.

Studies have shown that's true. Depends on your clients though and your profession.

[tekla]

I don't even need studies, I know the difference between how I'm treated when I'm dressed well, and when I walk in, in my work clothes after work.

[Hanlet]

It definitely helps... I wear formal clothes anyway (ties and waistcoats represent!), and I get a lot more double-takes. One of my friends told me a buddy of his only realised I wasn't a girl when he called me by my name, before deciding waistcoats are actually pretty cool. That was a good day

Plus first post here :3 I figured formal clothing is my forte XD

[ShortNoahUK]

i dont pass very well in a suit i would have thought that i would pass more then but nope, im still she'd and madamed all the time and it drives me crazy if i cant pass in a bloody mens shirt, mens trousers, mens waistcoat, mens shoes, mens tie, mens jacket combo then how can i expect to pass in anything else?
God i cant wait till i get on T, then i might stand a chance at being seen as me instead of what everyone thinks i should be

[Alessandro]

I feel your pain Short Noah.  It feels hopeless!  Still, I'll keep wearing the clothes I wanna wear and doing what I wanna do