First therapy session - Binding or no?

[Banf]

After 22 years of having them, I was still somewhat surprised, disappointed and sickened every time I spotted those lumps protuding from my body when I looked down or passed a mirror.

Well, my first binder arrived this morning, and it's bloody awesome!! o_o
I got the 1700 Large from T kingdom, and kinda as expected it's a little big body size-wise (the binding section ends up sitting a bit low), but it binds much better than I anticipated, and it's comfortable and nicely adjustable, so I'mma very happy boy. :D

Thanks for all the help in my thread about it! <33

After getting the binder on for the first time and realising how much my unbound chest lumps have stretched most of my t shirts.. :/ I went into town wearing it, browsed the men's clothes sections freely, and wasn't questioned trying on stuff in the men's fitting rooms. I still need layers to hide the chest unfortunately. I'm not looking forward to summer..
Finding stuff that fits right is hard, though. o: Especially jeans. Having to go for a lot bigger waist due to the hips than any man with my body size completely changes the styles..


Anyway, main point/query! I very much meant to ask this earlier.. But that didn't happen. P:
I've got my first therapy session tomorrow morning (Uhuh, New Years Day). \o/

My doctor was saying that GPs aren't able to directly refer a patient to a specialist (eg Gender) anymore, but simply refer to general psychotherapists for them to decide who exactly I need to see. That's how it works on the NHS anyways.

So, I'm guessing that my session tomorrow will probably not be with a gender doc (but could be!).
Do you think it would be 'safe' for me to bind, for it? Or not? o:

[Alessandro]

Yeah that's how it works.  But my GP just told me to go and get counselling and come back when I have "made the decision I want to change sex."   

Anyway, you should just do what makes you comfortable.  I don't think they'll be analysing you for moobs!  if you are uncomfortable without a binder then wear one.  You don't have to prove anything to this psych.

(PS - I have a T-kingdom binder too and I'm getting another.  They're great!  And I hear you on the hips thing.  Its a bummer)

[Aussie Jay]

Present as yourself dude. If you are more comfortable binding - do it.
Psychs aren't 'out to get you'. The idea is to be honest and tell them the truth and decide if this is your path. Or help you decide what you want to do about the feelings you have with reference to your gender. And they wanna make sure there are no underlying psychological issues etc.
I wore mine. I presented as male and after my first session she said that she would rather address me as male and he etc as that is how she saw me - which was fine with me!! Get all you can out of the sessions. But bind if you wanna - you shouldn't be judged.
Good luck dude - sure you'll be fine!!
Jay

[FolkFanatic]

I was able to get a referral to the needed therapist (the one who can write out the notes for legal stuff, T, etc) just by asking my regular doctor. She said nothing about needing to go to a "regular therapist" first.....

As for your visit, wear what's comfortable. You won't get points taken on/of or anything like that based on your clothing choice (or based on binding versus no binding.) I've gotten so used to wearing my frog bra or binder that i rarely go without, so i WILL be wearing mine to any appointments and visits (unless they specifically say not to.)

As for the pants, i'm in the same boat. I've got about an inch of loose material around the waist on my smaller pants and a good THREE on the bigger ones, yet still tight around the hips. I have no choice BUT to wear a belt....

Hoping weight loss will help with that lmao.

[Miniar]

I say bind,.. cause it's all about presenting "yourself" not "what your parents tell you to look like".

[xxaussiexx]

Its all about what your comfortable with.  If you want to bind then go for it.  Your decision to make depending on how you feel.

[Radar]

Bind where ever and whenever you want to. Just be sure you give yourself a few hours each day bind free because it's healthier for your chest.

[Teknoir]

I'm with the rest of them. If you feel better binding, then bind! Chances are you won't be the first guy in a binder they've seen.

I noticed the t-shirt thing, too. I have 2 lots of shirts - old shirts (pre binders) for around the house and undershirts, and "post binder" shirts (for use with binders ONLY).

Yes, summer is not good. 45 degrees c with a binder, 2 shirts and no air-con is a living hell

[Aussie Jay]

Yes, summer is not good. 45 degrees c with a binder, 2 shirts and no air-con is a living hell

Amen brother!! I live FNQ... Not cool. Literally.
Jay

[Banf]

Thanks guys. :)
I went with the binder of course.
The guy was a general psychiatrist and I talked to him for about an hour. His main job was to determine that my issues were not anything besides GID, and he said that seemed to be the case, it is simply gender dysphoria. Hmm yey?

He said he deals with referring people to London gender clinics however he said that I should (similar to Alessandro's experience) only request he do that if/when I am 100% sure of wanting to medically transition. I'm not denying that I still have a lot to think about before making that decision and plan to give it time before even starting on T, but I am really hoping for some GID-specialised/experienced counselling or whatever you call it to help me explore things I've not allowed myself to for so long. He offered me no follow up session or anything, though.

Instead he gave me a list of LGBT and trans specific support services/groups in the area and suggested I explore them. I've e-mailed two that do meetings, and there's a UK helpline called the Gender Trust, but I'm most scared about that tbh. I don't like speaking on the phone generally, nevermind about sensitive subjects..


Also, semi off topic.. :]
I found it funny that at one point he commented on my choice of masculine "hair, clothing, glasses etc"..
The glasses thing I actually wasn't expecting! I got these over a year ago while I was still trying to 'pass as female'. Both the shop assistant and my mum helped me choose, and she paid for them. It was a long and frustrating process.. Deciding on something that was going to be on my face pretty much all day, every day, while hating all the woman's style frames and not feeling it would be acceptable to choose from the men's styles. I felt pretty blind to what looked 'good' and what didn't. I just knew what I didn't like, and we managed to rule out most frames in the shop in the end. A pair I finally managed to express that I liked was this rectangular male style, and the guy offered me a "female" version of the same frames, which were pretty much identical but a little smaller. So I settled for that. :)

I had been worried recently that they looked too feminine on me because of it, but I guess not!

[Jay]

Go how you want to go! Go as you..

Jay

[FolkFanatic]

I found it funny that at one point he commented on my choice of masculine "hair, clothing, glasses etc"..
The glasses thing I actually wasn't expecting! I got these over a year ago while I was still trying to 'pass as female'. Both the shop assistant and my mum helped me choose, and she paid for them. It was a long and frustrating process.. Deciding on something that was going to be on my face pretty much all day, every day, while hating all the woman's style frames and not feeling it would be acceptable to choose from the men's styles. I felt pretty blind to what looked 'good' and what didn't. I just knew what I didn't like, and we managed to rule out most frames in the shop in the end. A pair I finally managed to express that I liked was this rectangular male style, and the guy offered me a "female" version of the same frames, which were pretty much identical but a little smaller. So I settled for that.

I had been worried recently that they looked too feminine on me because of it, but I guess not!

Wow, i hate glasses.. and glasses shopping. I need new ones (the lenses are all scratched up) and not looking forward to the hour or more i KNOW i'll spend in there. I won't be taking my mother (we usually go together and get the exams together cuz it saves time) because i'm going to go with a pair from *gasp* "the GUYS section."

I can see THAT becoming a big argument....

Anyways, glad your session went okay! I agree that talking to someone knowledgeable is far better than just going in feet first if you're unsure about medical transitioning. I'm still waiting for my referral - i told her right out i wanted to go on T and would likely want top surgery (i know this for a fact). I apparently don't have to go to a general therapist, she just said she'd refer me right to a "specialist".

[Alessandro]

Thanks guys.
I went with the binder of course.
The guy was a general psychiatrist and I talked to him for about an hour. His main job was to determine that my issues were not anything besides GID, and he said that seemed to be the case, it is simply gender dysphoria. Hmm yey?

He said he deals with referring people to London gender clinics however he said that I should (similar to Alessandro's experience) only request he do that if/when I am 100% sure of wanting to medically transition. I'm not denying that I still have a lot to think about before making that decision and plan to give it time before even starting on T, but I am really hoping for some GID-specialised/experienced counselling or whatever you call it to help me explore things I've not allowed myself to for so long. He offered me no follow up session or anything, though.

Instead he gave me a list of LGBT and trans specific support services/groups in the area and suggested I explore them. I've e-mailed two that do meetings, and there's a UK helpline called the Gender Trust, but I'm most scared about that tbh. I don't like speaking on the phone generally, nevermind about sensitive subjects..

Agh, why can't we have therapy like the Americans have to go for?  Its such a big decision for us to make on our own.  Alright I have pretty much made it but am racked with self doubt that just gets more and more exhausting!  I was going to go back and ask my GP again for some more advice.  But it looks like we are on our own with this...unless we can handle telephones.   

[Flameboy]

Agh, why can't we have therapy like the Americans have to go for?  Its such a big decision for us to make on our own.  Alright I have pretty much made it but am racked with self doubt that just gets more and more exhausting!  I was going to go back and ask my GP again for some more advice.  But it looks like we are on our own with this...unless we can handle telephones.   

Alessandro, there's no reason at all that you can't arrange to go to counselling; just because the system doesn't require you to go doesn't mean you can't go if you want to. You can either ask your GP for a referral for counselling on the NHS, or arrange it privately. If you get it on the NHS it's free, of course, but there's obviously the issues that you can't choose who to go to - so you might get someone with no idea about gender stuff, and that there's likely to be a waiting list. If you go privately, you have to pay of course, but many counsellors offer a sliding scale according to your income, and you also have the advantage of being able to choose who you go to. If you're anywhere near the Manchester area I can put you in touch with a good counsellor here, or failing that a local LGBT helpline might be able to recommend someone.

Also, in terms of your GP saying that you can't be referred to the local psych (this is also for Alessandro btw) until you're 100% sure you want to transition, I think that's rubbish. My advice would be to ask your GP for a referral, and get on the first rung of the ladder. It took me 19 months from asking my GP for the first referral to starting T, and during that time I could have stopped the process at any time. Actually, Banf, I'd suggest the same to you also - get in the system and take it from there. Noone will force you to take hormones after your second appointment at the GIC, and in fact there are many people who attend for years before the decision is made - jointly, by the person and the psych - that it's the right time to start hormones. The psychs at the GIC are the experts, not the GP or the local psych.

Hope that helps!

[Alessandro]

Thanks so much Flameboy, that was very informative. 

I am on a waiting list for NHS counselling but I don't think the person I am going to see knows anything about TG issues.  It will be good to talk to someone though, so I am still persuing it. 

As for the referral, thats good advice.  I think I will go back and ask a few questions.  As you say, if I can just get on the ladder then that will be some relief and its not a binding contract