Legal Marriage Questions

[Cowboi]

I have some questions that I thought you guys may be the best at helping me answer. My fiancee and I are both transsexual (she is MTF and I am FTM) and we are looking at what our options are for legally getting married. Our main issue is that she has had her gender legally changed to female but mine is still legally female as well.

We have multiple ways to get around this issue. Her birth certificate reflects her name change but they refuse to change her gender on it so it says male, mine says female. Also she can get a driver's license that says female and I am able to get one that says male.

My main questions is rather or not any of you have had to deal with the aspect of your partner changing their gender legally and how it affected the marriage (in legal terms)? We have two main concerns, the idea that our marriage could be challenged as fraud because of our legal genders and even if it is not when she finally does get everything changed and updated what kind of impact that will have on our marriage legally. Any help or advice is appreciated.

Also we were kind of at a loss about rather or not you all would be comfortable with either of posting here, as we are SO but are also trans ourselves. So any feedback on that is also welcome, we don't want to step on anyone's toes but are also aware that there are probably things that we may feel the need to ask for help with along the way when it comes to dealing with one another. We may both be trans but like all of you we still have problems that we can't always figure out how to deal with, especially considering that we are from different sides of the gender spectrum. If either of us posting in this forum is an issue though we are more than happy to leave it for you guys and use the other resources here that are available to us. 

[Ms Jessica]

It really depends on the state where you live.  Aside from DOMA, which is a federal statute, most marriage laws are formed by individual states (I'm assuming you're in the USA).  Some states recognize gender changes through GRS and others don't, so not being able to get a birth cert changed might mean you can get legally married since you're an opposite sex couple.  You really need to check on the laws where you live. 

You might try the transgender law center for more information (just google transgender law center for their web address). 

BTW, "we all" are trans people, some of us are SOs of trans people, so if you're trans AND SOs, then I don't see why you wouldn't be welcome.  So.... welcome.  Stay a while.   

[Ms Bev]

I posted this elsewhere, but I'll repeat it here....

I also transitioned very publicly, in a small town on a small island....heheh....Trapped like a rat.  I put on a dress, and that was that.  No either/or stuff.
It's a big enough place though, that now, after so long, almost no one knows, unless they are medical people, or knew me and still do.  I'm functional stealth.  The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.....all the people I interact with that don't see my social security id, or medical insurance id.....they don't know.  Why didn't I change all my documents?, some ask.....Marcy and I are still happily married, and I don't want to FU slippery legal questions.  So, social security folks have me on record as male, medical insurance folks have me as male, but MVA and all my business id, ie, bank, cards, etc.....all have me as female, as I live my life.

Bev
(shhhh!)

So, I'm in a state where I CAN change the gender on BC and SS, but choose not to.  I know who I am *S*.  Make sense?

[tekla]

When it comes to recognizing anything resembling 'gay' marriage, as stated, DOMA does not require the actions of any one state to be binding in another, and if I'm not mistaken you're thinking of moving to Arizona right?  You'll probably be out of luck there.

[Bam]

I am a trans woman who has an F for gender and female name on my id's and am still married to my wife(biological woman) for 40 years,file taxes as joint the whole nine yards. We were married as male and female as they explained it to me once you are married the state steps out of the picture unless YOU want to divorce(they can't force you) The people that know us know were married but the others we just say we are sister in laws and i wear a engagement ring and wedding on my left hand that is different from my wife's.
Hope this helps Cowbo.