Surprised by someone elses take on it

[arbon]

I have one friend I have been talking more about myself to recently.

Tonight I had a long conversation with him, and while trying to explain more to him about it I said something along the lines of it being like an identity problem. But his response / view point of my problem was "no, it's not an identity problem. It's really a comfort problem. Your not comfortable as you are, but change is not going to be acceptable to most people, and your not comfortable with that either."

It was just a different percpective and it surprised me that he would see it that way. I had not considerd it that way before.

[rock]

I don't know your story. If you consider it a comfort issue you may be a c.d. If you consider it an identity issue you may be a t.s.

[K8]

I love talking to my friends because they often see things in a different way.  Sometimes they help me see myself a little more clearly, and sometimes they help me see them a little more clearly.

I don't think that your friend viewing your issues as a comfort issue means you are not TS (just as it doesn't mean that you are TS).  I was not comfortable in the world when I presented male.  I am far more comfortable with myself and with my place in society as Kate.  My transition could be seen as a comfort issue.  Different people use different labels to emphasize different aspects of the same thing.  (Does that make sense? )

- Kate

[gennee]

Your friend is very perceptive. He's sees something in you that may be holding your back from being the person that you desire to be. Friends like this person is priceless.

Gennee

[arbon]

It was a heck of a lot better then getting something like "come on your a guy. Get over it and deal with it." which is more along the lines of what I expect to get.

[june bug]

It's really a comfort problem. Your not comfortable as you are, but change is not going to be acceptable to most people, and your not comfortable with that either.

Story of my life when I first began transitioning... hell, even now to a certain degree.  It's amazing how much I _still_ hold back (been transitioning for nearly a decade) because of my discomfort with other people's reactions to who I am.

I definitely like your friend's perspective on things. 

[Just Kate]

I have one friend I have been talking more about myself to recently.

Tonight I had a long conversation with him, and while trying to explain more to him about it I said something along the lines of it being like an identity problem. But his response / view point of my problem was "no, it's not an identity problem. It's really a comfort problem. Your not comfortable as you are, but change is not going to be acceptable to most people, and your not comfortable with that either."

It was just a different percpective and it surprised me that he would see it that way. I had not considerd it that way before.

It is a comfort issue, and you must do something to resolve the discomfort involved with GID.  It comes down to choice, can I live with the discomfort without making dramatic changes or is the discomfort involving making those changes far less than the GID itself?

I think your friend made a wise statement.