public toilets. ugh.

[Wolf Man]

jay care to enlighten how the heck did you manage a urinal without peeing over your pants (assuming you got a v instead of p back then)?

It's called an STP(stand-to-pee) device. FTMs use them so they can do just this. Hell, I use one.

[Alyssa M.]

Such devices are not just for trans guys:

http://www.climbing.com/print/techtips/ttalpine222/
http://www.summitpost.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=21675

[Wolf Man]

Do I come off as ignorant?  Dang.

Plenty of us FTMs use these things as our STPs. 

[Alyssa M.]

Um ... no, that wasn't intended as a retort, only an addition.

I just think that it's ironic: I'm in two groups that have an interest in the subject, but in both groups I'm in the subgroup that doesn't have any practical interest -- that is, climbers and transsexuals have an interest, but not male-bodied climbers or MTF transsexuals. But by belonging to both those generally uninterested subgroups -- being an MTF climber -- it means that I have some practical interest after all.

[Carson]

Honestly the first time I used the mens room I sat there and stared at the door for a good 15 minutes until my girlfriend at the time shoved me and told me to just do it. We were at bamboozle (if anyone is familiar) and there were a million guys in there at all times. I was really nervous but I just took a deep breath walked in and waited in line just like everyone else, no one talked regardless of the dozens of people crammed in there together. No one even cared. After that I had no problem.

[Adio]

When I first started to get away from using female bathrooms, I used unisex ones first just to ease myself into it.  I went to a campus were there were several in one building and I'd go to the one with the urinal for "practice". 

After I felt comfortable with those, I would find single stall locking men's rooms.  Those are the ones with just the toilet, possibly a urinal, and a sink.  That way I could be using the bathroom I wanted to but with privacy. 

I mostly try to look for those or unisex bathrooms because of the area I live in, but when I feel safe, I use regular men's bathrooms and just go in the stall.  If I have my stp, I use it.  If I don't, I don't worry about it.

[Brynn]

Men's restrooms are honestly NOT a big deal. At all. No, really. I'm not on T, don't even shave the "peach fuzz" stuff  yet... etc. But I've still used multi-stall men's restrooms with no problem whatsoever. They're not kidding when they say no one talks or makes eye contact. It's a completely different atmosphere from women's restrooms. It's all about doing your business and getting outta there. Just go in with confidence.

If it'll help, see if you can find a cis guy who supports you and would be willing to go into the bathroom too. I highly doubt ->-bleeped-<- would go down, but just having him there would hopefully make it easier for you to feel the kind of confidence necessary.

[Valerie Elizabeth]

But by belonging to both those generally uninterested subgroups -- being an MTF climber -- it means that I have some practical interest after all.

I was thinking about this just the other day.

Over thanksgiving break me and like 5 friends went to the Red River Gorge in Kentucky for our yearly thanksgiving break sport climbing trip to the Red.  I was thinking to myself when we were out there that the next time I come out here, I'm going to have a much harder time peeing.  Then, earlier this week I was thinking about getting and using an STP for those trips.  Taking your harness on and off sucks enough (at least I think so), and having to pee like 8 times a day in the woods suck enough without having to take it off.  Having to take my harness off that many times just to pee would be miserable. 

I can totally sympathize with female climbers now.


As for using the restrooms, I just one day started using the womens room.  Basically the day I went full time.  I haven't had any trouble.  Sometimes I get a weird look when I talk (my voice is pretty much man) when I'm in there, but I'm totally over it.  Just do it, it's really not that bad.

[spacial]

Just to repeat what has been said several times and is really all you need to know about using the men's room.

Go in.

Don't make any eye contact.

Don't speak. If someone speaks to just grunt and walk on.

Do what you need to, then leave.

Don't stare at yourself in the mirror.

Just had a think and that last comment about staring iin the mirror?

Ignore it. It was patronising and unnecessary.  I apologise.

[milktea]

It's called an STP(stand-to-pee) device. FTMs use them so they can do just this. Hell, I use one.

wow i'm the ignorant one here...always had to use the cubicle. got to check this one out.
i'll say pee standing must be very cool esp when you have to use a messed up cubicle...

[Wolf Man]

wow i'm the ignorant one here...always had to use the cubicle. got to check this one out.
i'll say pee standing must be very cool esp when you have to use a messed up cubicle...

Aw, it's okay.  It's something I'm sure most of us don't know and then of course, we do! So now you know and all you have to do is get/make one and practice. 

[CodyJess]

Don't stare at yourself in the mirror.

lol - I don't find this patronizing in the least. The idea of some guy going into the bathroom, following all the 'rules' and then standing in front of the mirror for 15 minutes and primping sent me into a fit of laughter. 

[ShortNoahUK]

i tend to go in to panic and usually if im with a friend i get them to stand outside and wait for me so they can listen out for any signs of a fight.
When im on my own its worse, i just take a deep breath, close my eyes and walk in and straight to the cubicle furthest from the urinals, concentrate on the cubicle door then when im in there i can relax for a minute then after that i just open the door, wash my hands, refrain from doing anything but that ation and leave

But my god. In those few moments that im in that bathroom i swear my heart beats so fast i come close to cardiac arrest lol

[Valerie Elizabeth]

lol - I don't find this patronizing in the least. The idea of some guy going into the bathroom, following all the 'rules' and then standing in front of the mirror for 15 minutes and primping sent me into a fit of laughter. 

Haha, I must have been the weird one (then again, I am m2f so I guess I was just in the wrong room).  When I was a boy I always checked myself out in the mirror in the mens room.  Maybe not 15 minutes, but I made sure my hair was good, my clothes were good, etc (would've checked my makeup if I wore it).  I also talked to my friends in there, and I talked to random guys.  Meh, nobody ever seemed to care or if they did, they didn't show it.

[spacial]

The thought behind the original suggestion was for a FtM who is feeling a little uncomfortable and perhaps worried about someone accosting them.

I too have spent time in the mens, combing my hair, or having a chat with someone.

But for an FtM, who's just starting to use the men's room, that might be a bit too much.

Once they have been in a few times, got use to the environment, relaxed a bit, they won't need ay advice at all.

I re-considered it, within the context of that post, because, after some thought, I realised it might need some clarification. The post was intended to sum up, briefly.

When I was living as female, I went into the lady's room a few times.

First time, I was so scared, I was shaking. I was dressed as a female so couldn't use the mens and I really needed to go. I really thought I was going to be attacked by a bunch of big women before being dragged out by some burly guys and beaten to a pulp.

I went in. Into a stall. The hardest bit was starting. Left the stall, washed my hands then left.

There were several women in there, not one took a second glance at me.

So, the only point I was making is that, using the rest room, relax, be confident and just do it.

[milktea]

But my god. In those few moments that im in that bathroom i swear my heart beats so fast i come close to cardiac arrest lol

chill dude...its not a big deal really. what's the worst that can happen? getting thrown out? sure thing nobody's going to call the cops on you. i got spotted a number of times in the past and when someone say 'hey this is the mens room' i just turn around and walk out...

[ShortNoahUK]

chill dude...its not a big deal really. what's the worst that can happen? getting thrown out? sure thing nobody's going to call the cops on you. i got spotted a number of times in the past and when someone say 'hey this is the mens room' i just turn around and walk out...

getting thrown out i dont mind, getting beaten to a pulp for being a '->-bleeped-<-' i do mind.
ive nearly been beaten up for it several times so my confidence is knocked slightly

[Alyssa M.]

Noah, you have my sympathy and understanding. I know what it's like to be on the wrong end of male aggression, enough that I have to confess trans guys make me uncomfortable sometimes. It's not that they're trans or that their guys (though guys sometimes make me uncomfortable in general), but that their transition triggers bad memories. Seeing them among other guys, around strong, assertive, and violent (at least in my recollection of life in the savage sex), I see people weak like me clamoring for a seat in the lion's den. All trans people have to face the possibility of violence from men, but at least trans women, in particular trans lesbians, often have the privilege of being able to distance themselves. I certainly feel I do.

You don't need to tell me that's a misperception based on fear -- because I know that's exactly what it is. Even if it's true, my perspective is really skewed. But knowing that doesn't change my fear response.

[Radar]

I just hate the idea that anyone might get a glance through the crack in the stalls and make a fuss...

I really wouldn't worry about that. I've never seen a woman peeking through the cracks at a stall. Sometimes they'll look under the stall door just to see if someone's in there, but never enough to see the woman sitting on the toilet. I'd say you're safe. Then again, I've never really paid much attention to who or what's going on in the women's toilet anyway.

[Nigella]

Have you ever heard of shy bladder syndrome? It's real. And devastating.

I had that all my life and could never ever go to the toilet standing up always had to use the cubical and sit down. Of course I was always a girl in the wrong place I suppose, lol

Confidence in where you should be is the key. I started using the ladies when I couldn't pass in the men's any more and it gets easier the more times you use the right toilet for your presenting gender.

Stardust