I need some advice.

[notyouraverageguy]

Yesterday, I packed AND bound for the first time. I was fully "presenting" for like half of the day. I went out with my friends, and they didn't rly notice. I caught one of them staring at my crotch a few times though. :-p

Anyways, I know this has been said/asked many times before, but its different with me. So, how could I come out to my friends?
What could I say, or do?
How could I tell them, in exact words?
What websites could I use to explain it?
Or where could I go to get pamphlets?

The thing is, well first of all they are all girls. Second they, how do I explain this... they have this thing, where they call one of our friends a ->-bleeped-<-(yes I know that is offensive) and they call each other "man" "boy" "he", but in a playful way. So what im trying to say, I guess, is that they mess around with each other with being trans, or being male. And when I tell them, im a boy, and things like that. They don't take me seriously, which is kind of funny. Because im basically coming out to them already, but they're taking it as if im messing around back. And they say I "burn" myself. Lol

Soo yeah, from the way one of my friends messes around, I know that she's informed of what happens when a transgender transitions.

Any ideas?
They already know about my name.

[Al James]

I just said "i've been to see my doctor about transitioning to become male. Its been in my head long enough, now its time to make it real" Luckily all of them just nodded and didn't ask many questions

[notyouraverageguy]

I just said "i've been to see my doctor about transitioning to become male. Its been in my head long enough, now its time to make it real" Luckily all of them just nodded and didn't ask many questions

Lol well that's blunt enough I guess. I think they wouldn't believe me even if I said that.

[Al James]

Can you print anything off the net and " accidentally" leave it laying around for them to find or drop it out your bag when your with them? Or just take one aside and tell her you need to have an honest talk with her. If your lucky you'll only have to tell one and she'll tell the others

[Nicky]

Maybe approach them one on one to get away from the whole pack social play.

Personally I would email, it might come accross more punchy. It is more serious in email I think and you can craft your words. It also leaves no room for laughing it off as the words don't dissapair.

Maybe something like

"I'm transgendered, I have never felt I was a girl, eventually I hope to live as a man full time, you can ask me anything about it, I'm still your friend and hope you can accept me as I am, I still want to hang out and do the things we always have (if that is the case)"

I think that is the bones of it.  I don't think you need to go into depths to explain it. Just be prepared to be open and answer questions and admit when you are unclear on the answers yourself.

[notyouraverageguy]

Can you print anything off the net and " accidentally" leave it laying around for them to find or drop it out your bag when your with them? Or just take one aside and tell her you need to have an honest talk with her. If your lucky you'll only have to tell one and she'll tell the others

Unfortunately, I don't have access to a printer.

I was actually thinking about telling just ONE in particular, for now. Lol
Post Merge: January 10, 2010, 05:23:02 PM

Maybe approach them one on one to get away from the whole pack social play.

Personally I would email, it might come accross more punchy. It is more serious in email I think and you can craft your words. It also leaves no room for laughing it off as the words don't dissapair.

Maybe something like

"I'm transgendered, I have never felt I was a girl, eventually I hope to live as a man full time, you can ask me anything about it, I'm still your friend and hope you can accept me as I am, I still want to hang out and do the things we always have (if that is the case)"

I think that is the bones of it.  I don't think you need to go into depths to explain it. Just be prepared to be open and answer questions and admit when you are unclear on the answers yourself.

I was thinking about emailing them, but honestly telling them what you said wouldn't work. Lol they'd think it was a joke. Its weird cuz I have it on my profile, guess they don't read it...

[Wolf Man]

I was actually thinking about telling just ONE in particular, for now. Lol

I think that this is best thing, especially if that's what you're already thinking to do. I approached my friends one by one and I came out to the ones who I knew would be accepting.

If this one friend is someone you think will be accepting or at the very least take you seriously, start with them. Then if things go well, go one on one with the rest of the group.

It's not easy to bring it up, but you just need to get it out there and see what happens. Good luck! 

[notyouraverageguy]

I think that this is best thing, especially if that's what you're already thinking to do. I approached my friends one by one and I came out to the ones who I knew would be accepting.

If this one friend is someone you think will be accepting or at the very least take you seriously, start with them. Then if things go well, go one on one with the rest of the group.

It's not easy to bring it up, but you just need to get it out there and see what happens. Good luck! 

Yeah, im planning on trying to tell the one im closest too... which also just so happens to be the one I like :0... lol

Thanks! :]
I think im gonna try to tell her when I spend the night next week. Im excited lol.

[Wolf Man]

Yeah, im planning on trying to tell the one im closest too... which also just so happens to be the one I like :0... lol

Thanks! :]
I think im gonna try to tell her when I spend the night next week. Im excited lol.

Might I add that if this is all true, things might get a little sticky. Please do be careful if you do indeed like her and you're going to tell her this. Some girls have a tendency to think everything is about them and that you coming out to them in any way that can imply you might be attracted to them means that you in fact do like them. And this is what they are not okay with, but sometimes are secretly desiring. I'm just saying, after some stories I've heard and some personal experiences this is something I'm wary of.

But otherwise, good luck to you! I actually finally pushed the name and pronouns with my friends.

[notyouraverageguy]

Ehh well, things are already sticky. She knows I like her, and she has no interest in me what so ever. So its all good, im trying to get over it.

But thanks, and im glad for you!