How many times you prayed or wished and wished to wake up as the one you was..

[Sandy]

It wasn't prayer so much as a repeated wish, take it as you will.  And a sadness when I woke up.

Every night from about age 10 on.

But after a while, I just wished that I wouldn't wake up.  And cried when I did.

-Sandy

[Deanna_Renee]

I don't think I ever prayed - I haven't been the least bit religious for decades - but I very often wished (and still do) that I could be or become or needed to be a girl. Still waiting. Getting closer. Doctor visit next week, blood tests and hopefully very, very soon after HRT.

SRS is still so far off the radar that I can't even start to think about it (but I want it oh, so badly).

Deanna

[Ms.Behavin]

Lets see wished / prayed every night from about 12 years old on.  Most of my teens at least, though the wishing never stopped.  well OK I did finally stop wishing.....a bit over 3 years ago ;-) Lo my wish was granted!

Beni

[tekla]

This thread is powerful testimony to the power of prayer.

[V M]

Tekla is praying for a spanking 

[tekla]

Yeah, and I'd give it just about exactly the same odds of coming to be that all the above prayers had.  Guess I'm stuck with paying Mistress Raven because I've been a bad boy.

[wannalivethetruth]

It wasn't prayer so much as a repeated wish, take it as you will.  And a sadness when I woke up.

Every night from about age 10 on.

But after a while, I just wished that I wouldn't wake up.  And cried when I did.

-Sandy

thats so deep

[HollyHC]

Although I'm thoroughly skeptical to the claims of religions  (people would call me atheist, although I'm not a fan of the label anymore), this is the only thing I've ever prayed to God for, mostly whilst crying in bed at night, unable to sleep.

And every time I wake up the same, I become more convinced that there's no one up there...or if there is, that they don't have our best interests in mind.

In some ways it's better this way, because if my prayers actually were answered, then it would still mean that God intentionally put me in the wrong body to start with, knowing what would happen.

[MaggieB]

I prayed for the opposite, that my gender issues would go away and I would WANT to continue as a man because that is what my family wanted. Being a Christian at the time, I believed that I was sinning to want to be female. It was a total mess.

Tekla has an interesting point about the power of prayer but then again the ones whose prayers like mine were answered wouldn't ever post here.

Maggie

[Silver]

Certainly wish frequently when I realize that I'll never be a "real" man. Pretty frequently when puberty started, up until now.

But of course, as they say, we spend half of our time wishing for things that we'd have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

[nathan]

This thread is powerful testimony to the power of prayer.

I LOL'd.   

[Debra]

I do remember praying God would turn me into a woman over night but even by doing so I knew he wouldn't. I knew he could but I knew he wouldn't. After a lot of thought and understanding though, I stepped up and started the process with the technology available...to my parents' dismay, I might add.

It's like the guy who is drowning and prays to God, help! But then he passes up on a boat and helicopter rescue, telling each of them that he's waiting for God to answer him.....

[Sandy]

This thread is powerful testimony to the power of prayer.

I don't view this particular thread as an indictment or endorsement of prayer or religion.  Just a statement that so many of us have this issue forefront in our lives for so long, and suffer such torment, that it is the last thing we think about before we go to sleep and the first thing we think about when we wake up.

Yes, I do believe that God's work must truly be our own.  And I view my transformation, after decades of torment, a miracle that required much effort.

-Sandy

[AweSAM!]

The majority of my life (well, as far as I can remember), I would hope for a change to occur in my sleep. What is also bizarre, is that most of my dreams at night actually involved me having a metamorphosis to a female body, and in my dreams, I would be in first person or third person, but always female.

I remember when I realized that asking god for a change would have no recourse (a few years ago), I gave up on religion, and I now trust only the scientific method and my proper moral compass. Oh, how the power of failed prayer can be greater than prayer. In some kind of revelation, I became god... I could control the direction of my life! The only difference between extraterrestrials and god, is that aliens are seen a pure fiction by the majority of society, and there are generally no regular sightings of god in the skies. LOL, sorry.

[deviousxen]

By the time I had started to wish and pray for it, I was 13-14. I already had told any creator of the universe that I absolutely despised them because the private school I went to was such a horrible, stupid place. So I'd like... Cover all of my bases. An architect seemed like a logical idea to me. So then I went from that, to Satan, to nothing, and then to praying to the island I loved so much. The island seemed more logical. Maybe it had absorbed human thought and reality was affected this way. Maybe in the multiverse things criss crossed. The hell should I know? It felt right though...

I did falling stars. 8 of them I think.


What a pity... If I had just known none of it would freaking work, I would have probably transitioned earlier with more success. So.... Yeah.

[AweSAM!]

By the time I had started to wish and pray for it, I was 13-14. I already had told any creator of the universe that I absolutely despised them because the private school I went to was such a horrible, stupid place. So I'd like... Cover all of my bases. An architect seemed like a logical idea to me. So then I went from that, to Satan, to nothing, and then to praying to the island I loved so much. The island seemed more logical. Maybe it had absorbed human thought and reality was affected this way. Maybe in the multiverse things criss crossed. The hell should I know? It felt right though...

I did falling stars. 8 of them I think.


What a pity... If I had just known none of it would freaking work, I would have probably transitioned earlier with more success. So.... Yeah.

It's funny how much your post resonated with me, and my progression towards self-acceptance and transition through the years.

[Just Kate]

I must admit I've done it before.  Even recently.  However, not nearly as often, normally only when I'm in the midst of feeling terrible about myself.

[The Sarah]

I've wished to every power there could be for this, many times. There used to be a myth when I was in elementary school that if you found a dandelion with a full head of seeds and could blow all of the seeds away with one breath, then made a wish, the wish could come true. For a couple of years after I heard that myth I would become hopeful when I found a dandelion full of seeds, blow on it as hard as I could and make my wish. When it didn't come true, I would be very upset. Every time.

[JessicaLynn]

Every day for years.  Thousands of times.  I have had a few feel good mornings but for the most part I have woken up disapointed.  That wasn't how the day went always.  I havn't asked for it for a while which may be what has led me to a more realistic view of everything and admit to myself who I really am.  Instead of just dreaming that is.

[V M]

Yeah, I finally quit wishing and decided to take action before it killed me a few years ago