What To Ask Someone Who’s Gender Non-Conforming

[Shana A]

What To Ask Someone Who's Gender Non-Conforming
By Jess Five

http://jessfive.wordpress.com/2010/01/16/what-to-ask-someone-whos-gender-non-conforming/

Some people don't know how to handle dealing with a gender non-conforming person. I don't know why this is even an issue because everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. But, it came to my attention that some people feel the need to ask about gender identity when they come across someone who's non-conforming. Personally, that question annoys me. My gender is of no concern to anyone unless I want to sleep with them. I am a person – not genitals. With that being said, a question that makes me feel warm and fuzzy instead of like someone is trying to box me in is: "What pronouns would you prefer?" It's a respectful question rather than simply inquiry after my gender identity which I may not even want to discuss.

[tekla]

everyone should be treated with kindness and respect

True that everyone ought be treated with kindness, but for most part, respect is earned, not granted.  I will not be mean to you, and I will support you being whatever it is you want to be, but that's not saying I have to respect you for it, or because of it.