well, i said id come back and clear it up so i am
iv been hear a day or 2 now so im getting comfy, very warm welcoming place
so, sometime this month last year, is when i really let my self think clearly and accept me for what i am. i have a very loving and supporting boyfriend, pretty much the only person not on this site that knows, and a few people on another forums with a section for transpeople, though iv not talked much there and not recently, so yeah. im not really sure what it is i want from this post, really just to talk about it i guess, because i dont get a chance often to talk about it. its something iv kinda tried to ignore, its just a hurtful subject and i try not to deal with it, but last year around this time, i started thinking about it, and really i couldnt take it any more, and gradualy started accepting it. i even let myself project my real identiy over the internet, by using the name that seemed to be mine, bella, and checking the [F] box under gender in things liek forum account set up thingys and the likes, and it felt greaaat to do that, the first time, i kind of cried x.x thinking back, it seems kinda funny, but at the same time, i know it was a big acceptence for me. very soon after i found a loving boyfriend, though a long distence relationship. he knows about me, and is comfertable and loving and understanding about it, but hes very sexist, really he hates women >.< (please dont judge him harshly...youd have to know and love him to understand him) so i dont like to push it on him because i dont think he'd be comfertable as me as a woman, and his opinion really matters to me...hes told me all the time it doesnt bather him and he doesnt mind talking about it, but i dono, i really need an outlet other than him so he doesnt bear all the wieght with me :/ iv really never thought of looking for a forum for people with my similure troubles before, but hear i am now
anyways, im under the roof of my parents and have little way to express myself hear, i have no way of buying feminine things, clothes and such, that would help me feel good, im expected to act a certain way at home and school, and i guess i just need to let off steam. so thanks for hearing me out every one, please give any ideas of yours, again, i had a more thought out post to put, but i guess im bad at writing these things down >.<
