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Well, this is awkward ...

Started by Jamie-o, February 02, 2010, 07:15:55 AM

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Jamie-o

The company I work for just hired back a guy who left shortly after I was hired, two years ago.  His first day back he looked at me quizzically and asked, "Did you work here when I was here before?  You look kind of familiar."  I should have taken the time to "introduce" myself then, but I didn't.  The last couple days he's been sitting with me at lunch and chatting, but I have no idea whether he remembers who I was, if anyone has filled him in on my transition, or whether he thinks I'm male or female.  It's not a big deal, but it's a little unnerving not knowing how I'm being perceived by the new/old guy. Any suggestions for how I should handle this?
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Adio

If you want to be out as trans, I would just take him aside, especially since you've been chatting at lunch and whatnot, and just say "Hey remember on the first day when you asked if I worked here before?  Well, I did, but..." and explain it however you feel is best.  I'm assuming you transitioned on the job and that the rest of your co-workers know.  It seems like only a matter of time until he finds out.  I would personally rather tell someone than have them find out accidentally or through someone else.

Just my two cents.
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K8

I agree with Adio.  I would just say: "You may remember me from before.  I used to be so-and-so.  Now I'm Jamie."  And shake his hand.

In my experience, when I present my change as matter-of-fact most people accept it as that.  This is no big deal.  You used to present differently and have a different name.  So what?  If you are comfortable with it they will probably be, too.  Stuff happens, y'know?

Good luck, Jamie.  Let us know what you do and what happens.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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sneakersjay

He may have already been filled in; I have no idea if any of the new hires know about my past or not.  I asked an informed, trusted, employee once, and she said she had never heard anyone talking about it, so who knows.

When those things present themselves, I just introduce myself again, as me, and not say anything.  I suppose it depends on how close I knew the person before.

This happened at work a few months ago, when someone I worked with 5 years ago stopped by to say hello.  I was really truly busy and did manage to say Hi as I walked past her, but I had no idea if she knew who I was (she knew me pre-transition, obviously) at that point, or if she knew about my transition.

It depends.

I wish I never had to disclose ever.  Part of why I want to move far, far away, donkey.

Jay


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