do church's really want helpers?

[semie]

sad church story, partial rant,

its strange, once I start to trust a church its like they bring up these unspoken/unwritten rules that seam to vary from person to person

my story is, I'm only out partly, and it's only to my mom,
the last church we had to leave it 'cus the pastor wanted say in absolutely everything even when he said "I leave everything to you" and other not so nice things; lets just say he isn't a pastor, my mom calls his flock "battered sheep", and now, at another church, we've been going to for 6 months (we used to go there), starting to work with the ministries, I'm a drummer and assistant sunday school teacher, and the self proclaimed leader tells me a second grade student cant go in the younger class, (though he's somewhat autistic and apparently she said age 4 to 2nd grade, which I forgot) but she said, "he's to old, its not part of the plan" her so called planing meeting we had which felt like crock when we "had" it). Then this week, there was only one student in my regular class so I went in the nursery to work on my cards, and the girl in there said "we're not actually sposed to let guys in the nursery" but you should be okay," though she was shielding the little girl from me, I made a little pipecleaner person and she said "she doesn't know you, she's shy around new people", well duh, how do you think kids become less shy?; and anyway the other week she said "hi" to me,(she just turned two) needless to say I was shaking, told my mom I was walking home, had enough strength to make a short birthday card for one of my friends there and left.

It's really disappointing how the reason we have to leave churches are because when we help them they seam to make up unwritten/unspoken rules for us. 'they do' my mom said,
I hate the word religion, christian, church, school, other various words, my brother said to use the word faith,

truly, I am proud of myself, I dint even drink much when I got home.

I wonder, when I do come out, it probably wont even BE an issue,. (in church anyways)
--
I know, these are churches I felt something was off about them, but I have friends there, now I'm slightly afraid, and wonder if this is how there going to be about basic things, how are they going to be in a few months, I'm sure I'll be apart of some ministry, I really don't want them to act perfectly okay with me when people aren't    

it'll be okay, I know it'll be, god told me.

[spacial]

I understand you feel a need to go to Church. Many people get a lot of satisfaction from sharing their faith.

But, in all honesty, what these people have said to you is completely unacceptable. What exactly are they sharing?

The attitudes of those people in the Sunday schools are without any justification.

Personally, I don't go to a Church because I couldn't find any reason to do so, nor any satisfaction form it.

[semie]

well, I go to church mostly cus it's the only sense of community around here, there's a few around that do ask for volunteers, the thing is, when I first arrived the pastor( not the someone who causes problems) asked me to help, now that I feel so part of it, other people teach me it was stupid to trust them,
   the real thing is, being trans seams to feel like a big no-no, but I don't think they'd (any church worth being a part of) would give it a second thought. it feels weird.
oh well     

[tekla]

Actually, were homosexuality is only vaguely wrong according to some OT stuff, it's hard to see trans as anything less than saying that god makes mistakes, huge ones in fact, and if god makes mistakes, then perhaps god is not god.  I'm not siding with them, but I understand where they don't like it.

[spacial]

For Christians, the OT references are not valid as they involved judging others and killing. These are expressly forbidden by Jesus.

I don't believe God makes mistakes. The notion that the purpose of the most important relationship is to produce children makes marriages where no children have been produced, invalid. So that is obviously preposterous.

I cannot see how, a relationship, between two people, that produces love and companionship and in turn, creates harmony among others can be sinful. That just contradicts everything Jesus taught us.

I cannot see how, someone who is simply not attracted to, or comfortable with someone of the opposite sex is decreed, by God, to live alone, lonely and unable to share what they have.

And I cannot understand how love can ever be sinful.