The Passage of Time

[Inphyy]

Bonjour, hello...Gutan tag everyone,

Recently I looked through some of my old clothes, items, trinkets, diaries, notes, photos and etc. etc.

Yesterday I was gazing at an old diary entry I had placed in the compounds of this notebook about an couple of months ago...And suddenly out of no where tear after warm tear came brushing across my cheek which then dribbled down and fell roguishly onto the diary page.

Scanning back on my current past, I've seen how much I have evolved, moved on and made it through the good and the bad, how I handled the hand I was dealt...And just overall my current and renewed inner strength.

Normally diary entries and diaries in general are private and kept secret but I feel secure with my fellow sisters and brothers...And because I'm such a mysterious figure at times I want to pave a little taste of my life out in the open for everyone here...Now here's my entry from a couple of months ago.

"Dear Diary,

Recently there's a guy I know named Ryan who has been rumored to have a crush on me, he also knows about my "difference" and still accepts me...One of the few people in life who I know.

Everyone urges me to date him but I don't know which way to decide: Either go with the tide or sway against it. I get constant threats from myriad amounts of people...It makes me linger, makes me wait on whether to go in or not.

My life is already difficult being a teen but to amplify that with being "different" and there's bound to be double trouble brewing in action.

Kevin's brother, Kelly; Said he was going to call someone at an LGBTQI center to assist me with hormones, starting out, etc. etc. but Kevin and mom say that recently he has been extremely busy lately...So eh.

I cry and cry and cry every now and then but the precipitating actions of all this stress makes me uneasy to show my true feelings as many other people might feed off my eerie gloom, so more often then not I always have to hide behind a fake "poker face".

My belief in God has been shambled by the fact that I was born as an "monstrous freak" as some may say...It's almost like a sick game! But one I don't wish to be ordealed in.

Please...Please...Someone or something, SAVE ME! ~Mimi"

[Janet_Girl]

Mimi,

If he accepts you as you and wants to date you.  GO FOR IT.  The worst that can happen is you get your first heartbreak.  But all girls have that first heartbreak.

behold you are saved!  Because you are free to be you.  Unlike so many people that follow the crowd.

[justmeinoz]

If Ryan knows your history , and is still interested in you, ask him out. 
You never know, he could be the love of your life, or maybe not , but you'll never know unless you try.
You aren't a monstrous freak or anything, you sound exactly like any other teenager, I know, I had two of them as well as having been one in the 60's!!

[K8]

You are hardly a freak, Mimi.  You sound like a normal teenager to me.  (Don't all teenagers think they are freaks? )

I don't believe in an intentional god, but if you do perhaps it would help to realize that you - like all of us - are one of god's children.  We occur naturally, in somewhere between 1 in 500 and 1 in 5,000 births.  To think of our condition (TG) as being unnatural misses the point.  We are as natural as left-handers and people with red hair and many others who don't fit the norm.  (Just because we don't fit the norm doesn't mean we aren't "normal".)

I can't give you any advice about your love life, although I may be an expert in what not to do.

*hugs*
Kate