I hate my status of my life, more than anything, but I feel in my heart I do not deserve it. In spite of everything, I have a few ounces of hope, but this the social order of people in ranks and classes. Who is the prettiest, who is the richest, who is the best of them all? It's just aggravating me, and I let it get to me...
Today I wanted to go out, and I told my mother I was going to use the car, and she went "No, no... I just put gas in it. No noooo". I do not go out at all, like once every 2 months (for social things). And I wanted to go out... my brother goes out all the time. I am not out yet.. and I feel trapped still. I feel like I can't do anything.
And I have all these acne scars on my face... I am considering of purchasing acid peel for it right now.
Then one of his friends comes in with Mercedes... it's aggravating to feel so poor, and working, and doing it all...
I drop big bucks (over 1.5 k so far) to help my mother, and I am running low on my moneys.
It's just I have to get through these next 5 months, and leave this state, this place.
I won't be this poor ever again, this ugly ever again, as God as my witness, I'll never be at this place ever again!
