Body Image Issues?

[T2Logan]

I am FTM and in the process of transitioning. I am currently a senior in college as a sociology major and I am required to conduct a research project. I actually am very excited and interested in the topic. Little research has been done about homosexuals with regards to eating disorders, but there has been even less focused on transgendered individuals struggling with eating disorders. I believe we need to spread the word and knowledge that many transgendered individuals struggle greatly. Perhaps more knowledge could assist with treatment programs tailored for those that identify as trans.

My question is whether you have struggled with an eating disorder which you feel is strongly related to identifying as transgendered or not? There are multliple factors that go into the development of an eating disorder, but I would like to focus on the stress transgendered inviduals may face. For some it may be the pressures of society to look a certain way (females thin, males muscular). For others it may be an attempt to change their bodies to look more like the gender they identify as.

I will share my personal experience as an example. I have struggled with various eating disorders for many years. There are certainly other factors that contributed to the development, but being a male stuck in a female body left me feeling trapped and greatly increased the development of disordered eating. When puberty hit my body went haywire. Things were growing where they shouldn't and something started once a month. I hated my body even more. One way I could remove the traces of being female (hips, breasts, monthly) was to starve myself. It wasn't about being thin for me, but rather to become the straight, male figure I desired.

Now that I've begun to transition and I am recovering from the eating disorders I have begun to equate male = muscular. I believe this is due in part to society's expectations for men to be fit and buff and I feel I must be "built" to fit in and be perceived more as male.

I was wondering if anyone has struggled with eating disorders or simply disordered eating to change their bodies before they were able to transition and/or after to meet society's expectations? If you'd like to share your experiences that would be greatly appreciated, but if you would rather not that is completely fine. Everything will remain confidential (no screen names, pictures, etc. will be recorded). I also would like to do some personal interviews one on one. If anyone is interested in participating please email me at dreamer4life1522@yahoo.com with "interview" in the subject.

I appreciate any response and feedback on the topic. Even if you have not personally experienced an eating disorder, but have any opinions on the matter please feel free to share.

Thank you!

[Silver]

No eating disorders so far- I'm already relatively thin. But yeah, poor body image. All the time. Dysphoria sucks.

[Hannah]

I'm a psych major and I sometimes get tasks like this. Not so much in psych but often in health and human services. About half the time I just make it up, honestly. Any way, would you really consider it an eating disorder if I, as a mtf transexual, used a diet which caused my body fat and muscle mass to waste? On the other side of the coin where does supplement use factor in as it causes your bodies to gain mass; both questions are asking for the defining point between disorder and body modification to align with ones identified gender.

I've fought my weight my entire life. I was my target weight for like 2 hours once in boot camp, but then I had dinner and it packed back on. I've done it all, starvation, drugs, and my favorite by far is purging. At what point does the need to align oneself give way to disorder?

[Jay]

#  Yes, I am FTM - pre-transition - I may had had top surgery and been on T for two years but until I have bottom surgery I will not be transitioned.

I have always had poor body image, nothing will be perfect until I have my penis that I long for.... also losing a bit of weight well about another 2 stone would be great. And no I do not have an eating disorder, well unless there is one for eating to much...

Jay

[insanitylives]

Jay: that's generally called compulsive over eating or binge eating disorder.

[Janet_Girl]

MtF in transition.
Body image - Yes.  Eating disorder - No, unless you count not being able to buy food.

[placeholdername]

How severe are we talking about for Poor Body Image?  Because as TS/whatever, of course I have poor body image because its not the parts I want.  But weight-wise I don't really have issues, except for my ass being too flat .

[Hannah]

unless you count not being able to buy food.

Every time I see something like this it infuriates me. People going without food in the most powerful nation in the world, it's ridiculous.

[Wolf Man]

I've actually had emotional issues (depression, anger issues) since I was about 10. It all came with coming out as a lesbian(which I see now as having been half right ) and about the time I was about needing a bra and I had been bleeding for a time.

I look back and think it was this that began things though I didn't know what trans was and didn't relate to it when I did because I only saw MTFs. This is when I began to seriously gain some weight and I guess I'm a compulsive over eater as someone mentioned here. I've sort of always resorted to food, be it comfort or to have a way to get out of the spotlight (meaning "oh, look I'm eating so now you can't exactly talk to me much"). I'm still stuck dealing with this as I am pre-transitioned medically, but as I have taken serious steps to be seen as male (name, binder, packer) I find it much easier to cope with things and I am trying to be more active so I might attain some level of fitness both internally and externally.

I guess that answers your question? I feel like I rambled a bit. Hope this helped you.

[Janet_Girl]

Every time I see something like this it infuriates me. People going without food in the most powerful nation in the world, it's ridiculous.

Tell it to my food stamp worker.  All I get is $52 per month.

[Hannah]

Actually, in less than a year I'll be your Food Stamp worker's boss 

[Janet_Girl]

Actually, in less than a year I'll be your Food Stamp worker's boss 

Good!  Can I have a raise in my allotment?

And did I tell that I love you, Becca.
^{Does that help?}

[tekla]

Food stamps are not about getting food to people, but rather using up agricultural production to keep prices artificially high.

[Jasmine.m]

Body image - not really. I certainly wish it where more femme.
Eating disorder - Also not really. I sure wish I could eat more and not gain more weight though!

[insanitylives]

I realize it's a small sample

But does anyone else think it kinda 'makes sense' that there would be more ftm who deal with restrictive-eating disorder behaviors?

...I know the reason I starve myself...that's for sure.

[T2Logan]

I realize it's a small sample

But does anyone else think it kinda 'makes sense' that there would be more ftm who deal with restrictive-eating disorder behaviors?

...I know the reason I starve myself...that's for sure.

My personal opinion before the research is that more FTM's (before transition to remove curves and feminine traits) and MTF (after transition to obtain a thin 'feminine' feature) would use restrictive-eating behaviors. So far this is not based off of anything as of yet, but I personally have noticed this trend.

Thank you everyone for your responses

[Chaunte]

I don't know if i would call it an eating disorder, but I was substituting food for sleep.  Too many papers to grade and not enough time to do it all - especially after making dinner and helping my kids with their homework.

[Silver]

I realize it's a small sample

But does anyone else think it kinda 'makes sense' that there would be more ftm who deal with restrictive-eating disorder behaviors?

...I know the reason I starve myself...that's for sure.

Yes it does, low enough body fat and you stop the "red death." No such comparable effect for MTFs.

[insanitylives]

Yes it does, low enough body fat and you stop the "red death." No such comparable effect for MTFs.

And you mess up a lot of other stuff, but yeah, it works if you're thin enough. =|

[kyril]

Yep, and most of the fat in unnatural places goes away - pants fit right and binding is much easier.

I have disordered eating behaviours. Pre-transition FTM. Current eating status is "too much, and mostly sugar."