FTM; Buying steroids before prescribed Testosterone; Dangerous?

[jaspeer]

I've been sure that I was FTM transgender for many, many years now, but this last year has brought me to a whole new level of depression.
I'm losing sleep, I wont go out, I'm having difficulty breathing from my binder (although not entirely related)
and I'm self-harming more than ever. My life is at a fragile state right now with GCSE's and six form just round the corner, and I should not be thinking of drugs... But It's all I can think of. My boyfriend can only keep me stetted for so long, I know they'll be a time when he's not there, and I'll end up doing something stupid to myself.

So I have a solution to my complete depression, though I'm not very happy with it, it's not even a little bit safe and I'm not even sure of the legality for it -- Steroids.

This thread isn't for you to convince me it's a bad idea, I'm fully aware of the risks, but anything is better than how I am now, I'm willing to take said risks for the chance of some light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's just temporary. What specifically would be the drug I'm looking for? Testosterone Enanthate? Testosterone Cypionate? Testosterone Propionate? Testosterone Suspension? Do you know a legit website?  Money isn't that much of a problem for me, because I've saved up a bundle thinking I was going to have to pay for Hormone Replacement myself -- But with NHS this is not the case. So please, any help on making this as safe as humanly possible?

[Sarah Louise]

The only safe way would be with the help of a physician.

Susan's does not promote self medication.

We do want to be there for you though, so please keep talking.

Sarah L.

[jaspeer]

The only safe way would be with the help of a physician.

Susan's does not promote self medication.

We do want to be there for you though, so please keep talking.

Sarah L.

Thank you for your support and sympathy.   
And I'm sorry if this thread is plain thoughtless and sends the wrong impression. >:

[Flan]

We aren't medical doctors, nor can advise on how much of a med to use. Injecting a substance almost anyone can do, but without a local licensed doctor monitoring the process, that could lead to an early death.

As far as obtaining the substances, that's a google it yourself and take the risks kind of deal. It would be illegal for this site to advise where to obtain prescription only meds minus rx.

Sorry, but the NHS is a bitch, asking your GP *NOW* for a referral to a GIC would make the process quick(er).