Quote from: Ricki on November 04, 2006, 06:46:14 PM
Hi Sandy,
welcome!
I am curious you said
QuoteMy wife has known of my crossdressing nature from the start of our relationship over twenty years ago but now has a hard time accepting my emmergence as a female and will leave me if/when I transition.
Was this planned your wife was or is waiting until you transition and then will leave you?
What about your children, I am just curious as to how this came about or how you planned it or is it not planned and her decision?
again welcome this is a great site
Ricki
Ricki:
Thank you for the kind words of welcome. I really do appreciate them.
My emmergence is recent (about 6 - 8 months ago). I was in near continuous bleak depression. In conversation with my wife about dealing with my depression, she said I needed councelling. I told her that I didn't want to go back on mood elevators. At one time I had spent two years on Zoloft and became an emotional zombie and I also feel I lost some mental acuity which took more than a year to recover. My issues with being a crossdresser had also been supressed for quite a long time (about 14 years) at my wifes request. So when I talked about councelling I also talked about gender councelling as well.
My wife agreed that I should do whatever I needed to do to keep from killing myself. In the course of therapy I finally came out to myself (a joyous thing) and accepted who I am. In ensuing conversations with my wife about my feminine nature she said that she could not be a lesbian or have a lesbian relationship. She wanted me to be who I needed to be but would not go there with me. So when I go 24/7 then she feels she has to leave.
I feel that I have a female brain and it had been poisoned by testosterone. The upshot was my inability to control my depression. I had read so many accounts of trans women and trans men becoming calmer and more in tune with themselves after they started HRT. I felt I needed to do that too. I needed to find out if HRT would address my depression.
The short answer is YES!!!! Within a week of starting HRT, my mood, my emotions stablized. I could feel without fear of becoming depressed. I feel wonderful!
I came out to my children when I became determined to go out dressed as myself to my therapist. My children (two daughters, one son in law and an 18 month old granddaugter) have all left home, but live in the area so visit quite often. They started asking questions when I started being more obviously shaved all over. So I came out to them. It was kind of a traumatic event for me, but I worried for no reason.
They are completely accepting of me and want me to be happy. They encourage me to be who I am. We've even gone out shopping! They are the bedrock of my support.
So that is a capsule view of my life so far...
What a long strange trip it's been! (How many times has THAT been said!)
-Sandy
