Is a letter the best way?

[Christy Edwards]

I just recently wrote a letter of coming out about me being transgender...At 50 and had this issue since 8, Again it's like I dont care who knows.....Is this a pattern?? You cant live a double life but just soo long, right? Waiting for the correct time to give to my mom first....She is the more undertstanding one....I just recently had my ears pierced and she said she liked them....

[Flan]

a letter is one way these days to come out, and easiest if you can't blurt out, txt, send via facebook, ect...

whatever the way, there will (likely) be more questions on the way back.

and rawr on the earrings.

[SusanKG]

It's not sent yet, but I do have a letter drafted, to go out at the start of RLE, hopefully later this year. I'm still working on it. It's three pages, and will be an iindividually addressed but otherwise of identical content, so that everyone gets the same information at about the same time.  A few close family and friends will get a personal talk with their copy of the same letter, and everyone will get an invitation to visit, call or E-mail me about it. Not everyone I know will get the letter, but enough will that I'm sure with the gossip network in full swing, it will become common knowledge very promptly. 

SusanKG

[Radar]

I'm getting to where I don't care who knows anymore. Some of my family knows and I'll be telling my Mom soon. I used to be really nervous about telling my family but it wears you down worrying about it.
Post Merge: March 01, 2010, 09:17:51 PM

It's three pages, and will be an individually addressed but otherwise of identical content, so that everyone gets the same information at about the same time.

That's what I've done too.

[tekla]

If you've waited almost half a century for the correct time, its probably safe to assume that its not going to arrive any time soon.

And it's just me, but I think that anything important that has to be said to someone important in your life needs to be done face to face.  But like I said, that's the kind of person I am.

[Christy Edwards]

Thanks for your advise. U R prob right. In fact I sat my wife down last night and started talking about it. Many years ago when she learned of my cd desires, she asked is this something I would want to do all the time. At that time my answer was na, but I still knew deep inside. Now, my heart and feelings and desires are deeper and stronger. And truly I dont care anymore. I dress every day practically and go out as well and have family living as neighbors...So we will see...
Thanks again and to everyone being soooo nice and helpful.....Christy E

[Radar]

And it's just me, but I think that anything important that has to be said to someone important in your life needs to be done face to face.

I agree, but it's hard when most of your family is over 1,000 miles away. Letters work good for my family because they can go back to it for reference. My family has a tendency to mess stories up when telling them to others. Plus helpful links to websites and a book is included. In a way I don't put them on the spot where they have to respond right away. They can think about it, do research, whatever, and when they feel ready to talk they can.

Also some people might have a family member they fear will get violent with them with the news at first. I've heard of several people getting beat after sharing the news. So, for everyone's safety sometimes it's best to not tell certain people face-to-face. In a perfect world it would be nice to tell everyone face-to-face but sometimes it's just not possible or the best idea.

[K8]

I felt I needed to come out to everyone face-to-face if I could.  In some way I felt I owed them that courtesy.  I sent letters to those who live at a distance - other than my daughter, to whom I spoke on the phone.

If you fear they will react violently, then a letter and as much distance as possible would be best.

Coming out is one of the hardest parts of this journey.  In general, coming out to each successive person gets a little easier.

But it is your coming-out.  You need to handle it the way that suits you best.

Good luck!  I hope you get all good reactions.

- Kate