What gender do you think this is?

[bob]

Well I am 22 yr old male struggling with some gender confusions. I am new to this forum but hope some people offer me good advice.
Now, I have never felt anything like girl or felt uncomfortable in my body and all till age 15 or so. I was and even now much like boy aggressive and all) in other ways...
But then, when I began to fancy having sex with guys in my class and sexually attract them, I began to also get drawn to female fashion/aesthetics a lot. Ever since then, I get envy on how many pretty girls attract straight men on TV through make-ups etc and I get into imagining myself as female, with the hope of attracting guys. I get excited by female dramas/fashion a lot. Though I still never get urge to crossdress in reality, fantasies of myself being like a glam girl go on in my mind quite often. It's not that now I want a female body(if it was all of body, I wouldnt pay heed to my gender lol). Also, if this issue of attracting guys and this fashion/sexual stuff weren't there, I could have gone through as boy. But nowadays because I am missing that joy of being a glam girl and doing their dramas and fashion and enticing guys, I often feel depressed. Is  this some gender problem? Am I feeling like this just because I am gay or does it suggest I am a woman in cover?

[Osiris]

Only you can figure out your gender, no one can say "ok this is what it all means" because we'll never be able to get inside your head and know what's going on.

There's nothing wrong about fantasizing and liking certain aspects of someone else's life but you don't want to get trapped in your head and lose sight of reality. I'm sure you can find a guy who'll like you for who you are. Glam girls aren't the only people who can attract men.

Just be yourself (whatever that may be).

[K8]

First off, welcome to Susan's, Bob. 

There's a lot of good information and good people here.  Each of our stories is unique but we have a lot in common.  Settle in, pull up a keyboard, and explore.

Be sure to look under the Announcements heading.  There you will find the rules we live by in this little world of ours: "Site Terms of Service and Rules to Live By", "Standard Terms and Definitions", and "Post Ranks".  Look through the other stuff there, too, like "Age and the Forums".

As Osiris said, it's up to you to figure this out.  Some gay men dress as women to attract other men for sex.  Other gay men look and act like Joe Six-Pack.  I don't know if you are a gay man or a closeted woman or what.  I guess at this point you don't either.  If you can talk to someone trained to help you figure it out - a therapist or counselor - it will help.

I wish you good luck on your voyage of self-discovery.

- Kate

[kyril]

There are lots of gay guys who like to dress up - drag is performance art, but it's also about guys who want to wear pretty things for fun. Wanting to do that sometimes doesn't necessarily say anything about your gender. Clothes, makeup, hairstyles, all that stuff is gendered feminine, but it doesn't have to have anything to do with a female identity. I was assigned female, identify male (so clearly I have strong feelings on the subject of my gender) and I still like glitter and glam sometimes. And I'm pretty damn masculine in day-to-day expression.

One trans woman put it this way: Effeminate gay guys like women's stuff; trans women want to be women. And to clarify that, they don't just want to be perceived as pretty, glamourous, fashionable women - they want to be, inside and out, the woman they feel they were born to be. Is that you?

If it's not, there are other labels you can use, if you find you need one. Bigender, genderqueer, or just a proud queen...find the one that fits, or none at all. But whatever you pick, there are guys out there who are into it. Don't feel like you should be a girl to attract men.