What's your sexual preference & has it always been that way? (girls' edition)

[Valentina]

Inspired by  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,72609.0.html


I know there are many threads about sexual orientation but the bolded words caught my eye.  What's your sexual preference & has it always been that way?

[andie723]

I'm glad you posted this, because I wanted to post something like it myself.

I'm very new to my transition experience and in the early stages, but from what I have learned from myself in the last 3 months and realized over the last 7 years of my adult life, I am not a gay man as I came out as when I was 14 (very accepting parents, I was *very* lucky for them to accept even that back in the 2002). 

I always felt as, a gay man, incredibly awkward while in relationships including: holding hands, giving flowers/gifts, who remember anniversaries, who pays, top/bottom/vers roles, 'sexiness of bathhouses', 'attractiveness of being promiscuous', kissing in public and most of all, the somewhat 'animalistic' and vastly testosterone-driven drive for sex immediately.  I always looked for the gay man who would be the man, so I would be the woman --- but I didn't 'think' of it that way, because that's not how a gay man is, it is a give and take, a compromise: I always yearned for the opposite.  For years I battled with disagreeing with all of it (and so much more), striving for the heterosexual norm, with all my gay peers constantly scrutinizing me.  And I was always such an awkward gay man.  I'd be the one covered in make-up, feminizing myself in every way and then wondering, why doesn't any gay guy like me, except for the ones who are as girly as I am (still don't get that)?  After going after all the straight men with obviously, no successes, idolizing my female friends, being jealous of their gender and never relating to any gay man emotionally on structurally in the gay world, it was the real bubble burst that I was not actually gay at all.

Bottom line: preference only 'straight'/heterosexual men without getting into any debate of bi/curious TS ->-bleeped-<-s.

[Muffin]

I was always interested in women, and I still am. But I was also always interested in guys. But I always knew that what gay men do was of no interest to me.
I tried to do what they do but it was... all wrong.
So... Pansexual? As I find both human bodies attractive and find it's the person that attracts me the most even on a sexual level.

But maybe right now I'm more asexual? I don't feel comfortable with 'the thing' especially since beginning HRT.. plus my drive is minus zero.
So yeah I feel it's changing to adopt to my situation in a way yet it's always been pansexual? Wow I thought this was going to be easily to reply to :S
ok.... Pansexual>asexual>pansexual  ..........? >_<

[Dana Lane]

I lived as a straight male for most of my life having only one intimate encounter with a guy when I was younger (and drunk). I never felt comfortable with myself as a male and felt totally out of place when in the bedroom with females.

Once I figured out why I had felt the way I did my entire life and was a transsexual I had to tear down decades of walls that were built up. I am very attracted to guys now but am also finding myself attracted to females in a different way. I am not sure if I am a straight woman or perhaps bisexual. It will take time to figure that out and I am actually not really worried which way it turns out as long as I can find intimacy and affection along with a good relationship.

[tekla]

holding hands, giving flowers/gifts, who remember anniversaries, who pays, top/bottom/vers roles, 'sexiness of bathhouses', 'attractiveness of being promiscuous', kissing in public and most of all, the somewhat 'animalistic' and vastly testosterone-driven drive for sex immediately

I always thought that the best part of the gay lifestyle was the whole 'sexiness of bathhouses', 'attractiveness of being promiscuous' ... the somewhat 'animalistic' and vastly testosterone-driven drive for sex immediately.  And that to a large degree you were freed from junk like remembering anniversaries and having that social/cultural component of who is buying what for who for what.

[Muffin]

You're soooooo male tekla. *male radar catches on fire then blows up* !!!

[tekla]

When I think about Love
I don't think about a bright Moon
Twinkling Stars
Red Wine
Silent Whispers
Holding Hands
Secret Loveletters
Candlelights
Red Roses
Wedding Bells
Moonlight Serenades
Warm Summer Nights
A table for Two
I think about Pure sex, Deep sex, Hard Sex, Rough Sex
  - Lords of Acid

[Rachel Bellefountaine]

I used to identify as a straight male, because I was in a limbo about my gender (between mom telling me that only perverts cross dress and all those nasty stereotypes about transsexuals I really didn't know what to consider myself or who I could come out to) and because I thought I had liked girls exclusively (though I wasn't really interested in anyone at the time). Then when the puberty started to occur and I began looking at others in a sexual light, I realize that I was actually bisexual but with a stronger preference for women. Now that I'm more aware that I have gender identity disorder and am not some sort of sexual deviant, as my mother made me believe, I consider myself technically bisexual, in that I'm sexually attracted to guys and girls, but socially a lesbian, in that I can't actually see myself in a straight relationship, unless it where with a man with an effeminate or androgynous personality. I guess my ideal partner is someone who I can  talk about girl things with but also see myself being with romantically and sexually. Luckily I do have that special someone in my life, and I am very grateful to be with her. ^_^

[rejennyrated]

Bisexual - and Yes!

(Never been any different.)

[tekla]

I always thought most people were bisexual - beyond that really, omnisexual.  The ability is there, and depending on how you want to define it, most people are because they have at least one 'experiment' with a homosexual tryst.

[kyril]

Behaviour doesn't define sexuality. Neither does curiosity.

I mentioned in the boys' edition that I tried to call myself bi as a young adult, to justify being included in queer spaces even as I re-closeted myself as trans. It did not work. I'm not bi...like, not at all...and experimenting just drove that home. Sure, I'm perfectly capable of going through the motions of sexual activity with a girl, but it's quite possibly the most unsexy consensual experience I've ever had. I'm more aroused by multivariable calculus.

[tekla]

Behaviour doesn't define sexuality. Neither does curiosity

I agree with the second half of it.  Fantasies, role-playing, day dreaming, and porno choices might indicate a sexuality, but are not a sexuality in and of themselves.  Sexuality is related to sex, when 'sex' is used as a verb, so it does kind of require the actual doing of it.

And, in reality, the gender deal of male and female is only one aspect of choice in the process.

The entire assumption is based on a binary choice, this or that on a line from one side to the other, when the reality is much more like finding a point inside a sphere - its really a 3-D deal.   

[kyril]

I'd strongly disagree with that. Sexuality is in the mind - you can have a sexuality without having sex, and in fact most people have strong indicators of their sexuality long before they ever actually do anything about it.

Just because sexuality is related to sex doesn't mean it is the same as sex; it's perfectly possible for an idea, characteristic, or orientation to be related to a behavior without being a behavior.. That is, unless you're a behaviorist, in which case I'll just go away before we fight and derail the thread.

And sure, it's a 3-D deal, it's not binary. That's fine. But it's still OK to find half of that sphere not-sexy. Actually, for me, it's around 90% - I'm not only unambiguously gay, but I'm gay with a "type."

[blackMamba]

I always thought most people were bisexual - beyond that really, omnisexual.  The ability is there, and depending on how you want to define it, most people are because they have at least one 'experiment' with a homosexual tryst.

There may be some truth to that, but the question is what is your sexual "preference". 

I am a bisexual woman whose preference vacillates and it has always been that way.  Relationship-wise men are a better fit for me, but I am sexually attracted to both.

[Georgina]

Before I dressed [many years ago] I was definately straight,had children and all. Then after a period dressed,and experiencing a surprise visit from a friend who found me fully dressed and made up,I was surprised by my reaction when he suggested it was time to go to bed. Ever since that wonderful fatefull afternoon [including the time I have spent purged]I have always been attracted to men,I find the ones I have loved to be beautiful,thoughtful,beings. Now,my sexual preference,despite not always being that way,is definately men. The level of sexual preference is always heightened when I am dressed and made up and when my man appreciates me being the way i am. 

[azSam]

I was always oriented towards guys. My first experience with another male was around 12/13 years of age, at the height of my young dysphoria. Right around the same age, my clothes were found, I was embarrassed and I suppressed. I went to church and tried to live a Christian life style as a straight male. That didn't work to well, and it's backfired into a breakdown.

Any attempt I've ever made towards building a romantic relationship with a girl has been met with horrible failure. 2 of about 5 girls said I am not "manly" enough, even though I've done everything I can to be "manly". My friends and family say it makes sense for me to be "gay".

Though I don't see myself as gay; Still seeing 2 men have sex is not really what floats my boat, but I would have sex with a man, knowing that I am born a man myself. This was confusing for a while, but then I realized I was looking at it the wrong way. I'm a straight girl, not a gay man. Even though my appearance isn't fully realized, I am still a girl.

[Chloe]

but just wondering what everybody elses sexual orientation/preference is and if it was different pre transition or if it stayed the same.

Same . .

. . . kissing in public and most of all, the somewhat 'animalistic' and vastly testosterone-driven drive for sex immediately[/i] 

lol Always liked GUYS but never "gay sex" as male!

[loulou]

I feel like i'm bucking the trend here.  Before transition mostly asexual but bi.  After a 3 months of HRT though and feeling much better about my body image i'm finding women a lot more attractive.  I think i'm leaning towards identifying as a lesbian now.

[helenr13]

I've always preferred the company of women and feel more comfortable with them, but I've never really wanted sex, so I guess I'm asexual (should I add AND PROUD OF IT.....not really

[ivy]

My first fantasies were of females, at a young age, which is directly related to experiences I'd had. They stayed with me. I dated alot of boys, as a teen, which had nothing to do with my fantasies.  However, as I've grown older I have expanded my dreams to include lovers with male phisical anatomy (pretty much) - even though they are still very similar fantasies. Perhaps, because my lover is MTF. BTW, it is a popular notion among my MtF friends that males are good for one thing and it has little to do with emotional satisfaction.( could these men be gay males?) I have to disagree. I really think that, at least for me, it has to do with how I feel when I'm with that person - not if that person is male or female. Though, I have had good exsperiences doing that  previously mentioned, animalistic thing, I get greater satisfaction knowing that person's like and dislikes and, sadly, sex almost always happens before love. Please, don't tell me that's a guy thing! It seems, when it comes to what is expected of males and females I live in a vacuum. My lover says I have a built in BS shield. What ever it is I'm ok with it.  I wish we could be in a society where there aren't such expectations of what is acceptable for males and females (behavior-wise). When I hear some poor soul say they are stuck in limbo - to me it just means it's time to buy a new hat! (Perhaps, I've over simplified)