Welcome aboard, this is a good group. You came looking for friends but guess what? You found a family.
The people on this board are a wonderful crosssection of every shade of genderqueer there is from MTF, to FTM, to transitioning androgynes and the nutrois.
We understand gender dysphoria and the resulting angst around here.
Like has been said already, start reading and read alot.
Something to consider...
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So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu The art of War