I feel so amazing right now, it's unbelievable.
I had an admissions interview today at University west of England in bristol, as I'd decided at the end of last year to go and do my teacher training. Scary enough in its self, but it was made doubly scary after the course leader said during her introduction talk that the course was a lot of hard work and in a half joking way "not to get married, don't have kids and don't buy a dog" because we just wouldn't have the time.
You can imagine my utter terror, i've literally only just made the single most important decision in my life and only had a heart to heart with my friend Heidi 5 days ago. I'm sure you can imagine what kind of state I was in...bordering on panic attacks most of the day, wondering if I should say anything, wondering if I could go back to uni and continue on this journey (The thought of passing as female out side the house is still quite scary atm...imagine doing it in front of a class of 16 year old kids!).
By the time I got to my interview I was so highly sprung that I was surprised no one could hear my brain creaking under the pressure. Well, to cut a long story short, after an extremely positive interview it came to the dreaded "any questions" bit. Basically I told sue, a complete stranger that I'd only just met that morning, about who I am. She was so kind, so understanding that I feel so positive about the decision I made...though I did start crying when she said how brave she thought I was.
I feel a bit like I could take on the world right now, and more complete than I've felt for ever really. I know a lot of the journey we're all on is about breaking down walls between how the world sees us and how we see ourselves, but I never thought I was brave enough to do something like that.
Jaime
