Should we transition then never mention it again to anyone?

[juliekins]

From personal experience in the world of work, coming out as trans can be a problem. I had one such experience lately, where I went on an interview to become a sales manager. I got a sense that the big poohba would have difficulty with me if he were to find out.

Our 30 minute intro interview went on to over 90 minutes. He was talking about the benefits and money etc., and told me to fill out an application including a background history. I had previously worked at this company some 20 years earlier in the other gender. I was unsuccessful with calling back East to their home office HR dept to change my records. (It was too long, and I was not an active employee).

A few days later, after my background check was received by Mr. Big, it was a different story all together. I got a one sentence email suggesting that I was not a good 'fit' since I had worked too many places in my industry. (4 in 20 years) Regretfully, I think my first instincts about this person were true. Of course, these people are able to cover their butt with other excuses for not allowing the chance to work there.

I don't mind being out and known as a person with a transgendered past as long as I am treated well and respected. The problem is when I don't even get a fair chance with some phobic people, just because of my circumstances. That's just wrong. Fact is, that they are missing out on a great employee. I will just be happy to take my talents elsewhere for now....

[rejennyrated]

That sucks Julie. I feel sorry for you having to go through all that, but in a way it kind of makes my point very well, which is that unless one plans on living in an isolated cave halfway up a mountain somewhere, the information about our past is out there and it does eventually catch up with us.

In the past I have lived in full stealth, now I live in the open, by choice. Sadly for those who think going stealth will make your lives simpler I have very bad news... you couldn't be more wrong! Sure it can be done, but when I was in stealth the sheer effort I had to put in to make sure my past didn't inadvertantly catch me up was simply unbelievable. The simplest little thing, an unfortunate coincidence, a chance professional meeting, a family indiscretion, almost anything can induce information leakage - and once the facts get leaked the game is up.

It is actually since I went back open that things have become 100% simpler. But like I always say, its an individual decision. By all means try it and see if I'm right or not.

[Jeannette]

When I started to transition, I too thought of myself as a "transsexual" but as I transitioned, had GRS & moved forward into womanhood, the term "transsexual" started to sound incorrect when applied to my person.  I see myself as a woman, nothing else.  Should I be obliged to tell my past?  What I've always been is female & that's all there is to it, so the way I see it, my past is female & there's nothing else to "tell".