Want to Run Away

[Devin87]

I so want to just run away right now.  I mean, it wouldn't be LEGALLY running away since I'm 23 and free to move wherever the heck I want, but I'd be running away from my life here.  I keep having these thoughts of moving to like California or somewhere else really LGBT-friendly and make my transition there and then move somewhere else completely as a male.  I'm terrified of being inbetween here with people I know and who know me as a woman.  Heck, I'm just terrified of being inbetween period-- that's what scared me the last time I transitioned-- the looks I got from people when they weren't sure if I was male or female and the worse looks I got when they decided I was some kind of butch female.  I want to just hide away while I become male and then join the world again after.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I know the feeling. But somehow I managed to grasp onto some sort of strength. No one can hurt me. I WILL find a way. It won't always be like this. In the end, I'll be stronger for going through all of this. But if moving is feasible, go for it!

[tekla]

Running away rarely works, because as the old zen saying goes: Wherever you go, there you are.  But, moving to someplace because it offers you more opportunities, a different lifestyle, a different life, a better climate, a job - whatever, that does tend to work.  If only because the second tends to be far more thought out and planned then the first.

There is lot of stuff in life where 'you can't get there from here.'  If you want to be a surfer, you have to move out of Kansas.  So move to someplace where you can do, or be what you want or need, as opposed to just running away.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

^What she said. In much better words than I could have put. I tried to 'run away' before, to another, bigger city. But in the end, it worked out right where I was. It was all hanging out right under my nose...it just took me applying myself and making use of what was infront of me to realize it.

[V M]

Yes, the psychology of it is very important

Running away feeds a negative and as earlier mentioned probably won't work out

Moving towards something that will bring you the forward progress you desire feeds a positive and will more likely have better results

Maybe it's time to relax and make a plan?

[Radar]

...but I'd be running away from my life here... and make my transition there and then move somewhere else completely as a male. I'm terrified of being inbetween here with people I know and who know me as a woman. I want to just hide away while I become male and then join the world again after.

I know exactly what you mean. I think for me I'll fully transition where I live now but maybe down the road move somewhere else so I can always be seen as a normal male instead of trans. I guess alot will depend on how the people here handle my transition.

[Al James]

i'm thinkimg of transitioning where i am then moving to my gf's hometown once its over so i can be some place where i'm just seen as male- not as 'that butch dyke who thought she was a man'