Some News

[Devin87]

So I found out the other day I got accepted to the AmeriCorps NCCC program for next year.  That means:

a) I'll be out of the professional workplace for a year or two and will be able to get my nice short haircut without worrying about anything except the other volunteers thinking I'm a butch lesbian (which still sucks, but what can you do)

b) I get to wear guys clothes all the time without worrying about being professional (gotta love uniforms that are the same for both sexes

c) I'll have a good chance of working in the woods a lot and will have an excuse for carrying around/using an STP even if I don't publicize that I'm FtM

I'm still deciding if I should make it known that I'm FtM when I go down there.  I've only ever lived as a girl but this is like a year completely out of society for me to test the waters with strangers I'm probably never going to see again.  On the other hand, we'll be extremely active and in the hot/humid southeast so wearing a binder full time is pretty much out of the question and can I really tell everyone I'm FtM and try to be one of the guys if I don't bind?  And I'm still scared I can't pull it off-- that I'll act too much like a girl and just make a fool out of myself or that people just won't accept me and I'll end up ruining what should be the best year or two of my life.  Plus we're gonna be living in REALLY close quarters with people and whether I room with the guys or the girls, I'm gonna be making people uncomfortable and I feel guilty about that.  Idk...  I mean, AmeriCorps is probably mostly liberal, so the volunteers would probably accept me even if the people we're helping don't.  I have until August to decide how I want to live this year.  I'm getting cold feet already, though.  I've only ever been "out" to like three people and that was just for a few months before I got scared and started playing the girl again.

[Sevan]

Yay!! That's AWESOME! So congrats, first off. For sure.

Second off, I'm familiar with NCCC and Americorp in general...so I understand the program and the set up. My ex-wife was in NCCC, stationed in the South east where your going.

Americorp in general is really really big on diversity. Disability, gender identity, sexuality...all SHOULD be tolerated and accepted. *Be you*

As to coming out or not...feel out your new team first, check out your team leader. These are the people that will make or break your experience. If your team seems cool, come out. If they're not cool, but your team leader is..come out to your team leader and ask for help as to how to deal with your team. Some diversity training and a bit of open talking may be all they need to come around. Then when your on base and exposed to all the other teams...as long as your team has your back, you'll be good to go! Above all...definitly take the time to be you. Whatever that looks like.

[Devin87]

Thanks!  I've already come up with the perfect method of getting the nice short haircut without drawing any negative attention (but probably a lot of positive attention I don't deserve) and help a whole bunch of people out at the same time.  I'm gonna shave my head to raise money for kids with cancer right before I leave.  Sure-- I'll be completely bald for a few weeks, but it'll grow back and I can try out a whole bunch of nice short hairstyles while it's growing even if I choose not to come out.  But I agree it really depends on my team.  The good thing is, like I said in my first post-- the stage is already set so I don't have to do all that much to feel comfortable as an FtM while I'm feeling them out.  It's a very good environment for people who don't like following the gender norms since it seems like not many of them are enforced or even expected there.  You've got the girls using the chainsaw right next to the guys.

[Sebastian]

heaps of congrats to you!
I bet this WILL be one of the best experiences of yer life.

My personal take on the binder issue due to the heat - yer FTM whether you have boobs or not. People can be amazingly supportive, tolerant (at least!) and understanding when you let the real you show through.

I think the shave yer gonna do is a terrific idea also, with a good cause that will benefit.
Good on you, mate!

[miniangel]

The best time to change is at a time of change, so hit the ground running as a declared FtM and the little details will fall into place. Grab the opportunity with both hands and enjoy it.

[Radar]

The best time to change is at a time of change

This is my mentality now. Thank you for putting it into words.