Internet identity and gender

[Rock_chick]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post...I wasn't sure.

Anyway, something got dredged up from the dark swamp that is my mind by reading another post. In the past (talking around 2001/2002) users of other forums have identified me as female, and this was during the stage where I was trying very hard to present as "just a normal guy" and tho I was never deliberately trying to man it up, I wasn't trying to present as female...just being myself, tho obviously behind a screen name. It happened enough times that it wasn't fluke and was def one of the things that helped me to start make sense of myself.

Has anyone else experienced anything like that? Does the mask of on online alias allow you the freedom to be yourself without even consciously realising? i just kind of find it interesting.

[Jester]

Not frequently.  It's happened a couple of times, and there are a few people on the internets who say things like "I can't believe you weren't born a girl."  In the real world, people usually have a reaction like "But you're so angry, and you listen to metal," and I'm like "so?"

[Seshatneferw]

Back when irc was new, twenty years ago or so, I used to get hit on every once in a while. At that time I thought it was because it was pretty easy to find one's real name, and mine happens to be one of those that would be interpreted as female by most Americans. Looking back, I've wondered if there was more to it.

More recently, some time ago my then work led me to Second Life. At first I thought I'd play with this opportunity to change my gender at random, partly to see how it felt and partly to keep my students awake. However, it was surprising how quickly I abandoned that project and how clear it was that being female (although one who doesn't like wearing dresses any more than the real-world me likes suits) was a much better match. All in all, the whole thing turned out to be a learning experience not just professionally.

  Nfr

[AmySmiles]

When I played my first MMO (Evercrack, ugh) in high school, I had this happen.  I had been very chatty in pickup groups and it just seemed to be taken as a given that I was female.  Eventually they would find out I wasn't and they were always very surprised.  I was just being myself I guess.  My character was male, due to the location of the computer in the house, and I wasn't attempting to deceive anyone.

[brainiac]

It's pretty funny, but people on some of the places I frequent on the internet often have a hard time believing that I AM biologically female. In gaming communities, there are often very few females in the first place, and it's assumed that anyone who mentions in passing that they're female is, ironically, a man pretending to be a woman for attention.

I used to "pass" as male online--oh Ragnarok Online-- to avoid unwanted male attention, but it feels better in a way to be out as a masculine female or transgendered (which I'm only out as here). I've found that after an initial phase of HURR HURR YOU'RE A GIRL! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH or DO YOU WANT TO DATE ME (yes, really mature) in those nerd communities, they end up treating me like one of the guys, which is exactly what I want.

There are still some people who insist on trying to treat me differently because I'm female, but if they're not a minority I won't stay in that community anyway.

[JessieMH]

I always "lived" as a girl online, mostly settled into more mature crowds so outside of the avg. highschool gamer I never found much of the "zomg gurlz on the interwebs!!" people, never went out of my way to act female, people just assumed and I never corrected, nor did I want too

[Hikari]

be it games (Eve Online, in the past) or forums, I have always been female. People never question, I suppose I don't have very many stereotypically male interests except computers. I have always had a thing for cute avatars, and people just assume.

[rexgsd]

In online situations, theyve usually not known, or assume i'm male. never female unless i had specifically told them

[no_id]

Online identity.. Mehh I keep pretty close to me and 'err' at roleplaying unless I'm in my writer sphere. MMO's are that semi slippery slope though; I don't state my gender, sex w/e but I'm always seen as female in the end due to the use of Ventrilo. I'm never actually treated differently though..

When it comes to being 'read' online... It's pretty much all over the place and I pretty much float about..

[Jester]

Actually, now I'm thinking about it.  My experience with people online is that I always buy whatever gender it is that people tell me they are.  I think it's because when it comes to personality, there's not as many differences as people think and when all you have to go on is text, it's better to just take somebody's word.

[pebbles]

In 2004 I introduced myself to a different internet community casually as a female I've been a member of that community all these years.

So when the time came about to know each other better I gave them photographs either of me CD'ed or Just smiling at the Camera in my everyday gender non-specific clothing See my avatar.

At no point have they accused me of begin male. I don't know if there just begin nice sometimes but sometimes heterosexual guys will come upto me and say "Your kinda cute" This this makes me smile but I do even ask "You don't think I look masculine or anything?" I just swear there begin nice.

[Arch]

I have had a couple of "friendships" with people who only knew me online. They knew my name because I had done business with them first. We were enthusiasts about the same types of books or whatever. But I had already changed my name, so they had no reason to suppose that I wasn't male. It was liberating to be seen that way, but I worried that I would out myself or that they would find out somehow that I was legally female.

On forums where I used an alias, I felt much more comfortable being myself, even to the point of not worrying that I might out myself. Oddly enough, I never did let the cat out of the bag; and as far as I can tell, a lot of people assumed that I was male. I was even labeled sexist (in a bad, evil male way) and chauvinistic on a number of occasions, when I voiced my opinions about abortion or children or sexual relationships. I felt much more comfortable airing these opinions anonymously because people did assume I was male. When I said such things in person, people were often disturbed by my...unfemale attitudes. When I said them online, no problem. I was just labeled a guy--because, you know, a woman could never possibly hold those opinions.

But all of this was pretty conscious on my part. Well, very conscious. Deliberate.

[Silver]

I'll be the odd one and say that at this site is the first time I've been known as male online. It's nice though, and I'll continue to present as male (now offline too.)

People just assumed I was female because of the way I typed and my feminine username. I have changed since then for one reason or another.

[Genevieve Swann]

I have two seperate email accounts. One for the promiscuos, playfull female and another for the business oriented male. Unfortunately the male account doesn't get much correspondence. Genevieve (me) gets alot of correspondence. Mostly from other TG persons and a few admirers. I do block the lewd ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s.

[confused]

i have always been a girl on the internet before i even realize my GID ,i never knew why though , can't explain it either. but it was helpful
and then that led me here and here where i found out

[kaide]

I played MMOs, havent' due to the fact I can't find any I like lately after I burnt out on wow.

But people always thought I was a girl online, one because I've never played male characters, honestly just don't like the bulkiness of them, I find it hard to see a physically weak caster type character, run around with Arnold Schwarzenegger muscles lol. *dang that is a hard name to spell lol* I can see it, big guy running around in a robe waving his hands

Anyway yeah so I'm sure that also lead to confusing, but I was the talkative person in the guilds, and my guilds always thought I was a chick, never really bothered me though, except when this one person asked me, are you a metrosexual or something? lol.

[SamFtM]

This might sound like a rant, not really my intention.

But Internet Identity changes every day.

People change they're names on sites every minute.

I have learned not to trust as easily and be who you are with no regrets.

Some of the time, people dont care who you are, they just like to create drama.

I havent seen that here, i have found by reading most of the day that this is a great support system.

[Between Names]

I always used to keep my gender a secret when I went online.  But when people asked me if I was a boy or a girl, I would tell them, "I'd rather not say."  I just knew that if I told them I really "was" a girl, I'd get treated like one, and I didn't want that.

[Lukas-H]

If I don't tell people my birth sex (which I try not to online) they usually assume male since the majority of the gaming population for the games I play are male. Some people assume female but I don't act like the stereotypical female gamer so I think I confuse them.

On forums I don't like to let people know my gender and try not to say anything that would clue them in or give hints so I generally find people are either confused or really don't care.

In one MMO i was in a guild for a short time and there was some stupid and silly drama concerning the genders of myself and my significant other. Needless to say we did not stay with that guild.