have you ever gave up on life?

[Inkwe Mupkins]

my mom says she wont accept me as the true me and i dont have any friends to really talk to about eveything. All of the friends i have think that being trans is wrong and you diserve the worst. I have a endo appointment for T but thats all the way in august and he probably wont perscribe it. i had a run in with suicide a few weeks ago and its coming back. im giving up on life again just when i thought things would get better but they never do. When ur dead u wont feel the good things but you wont feel the bad either. i dont see what the point in living is any more i want to be a productive male in society but it probably wont happen. Nothing ever happens and if i wasnt here then i wouldnt have to deal with this crap. Any ideas or tips on how to cope? i dont think i'll do it but i have a rope and a latter and a support structure. The rope calls to me every night begging me to do it but i dont, why i dont know. Sorry for rambling.

[Flan]

suicide never solves issues but makes new ones for the survivors, it's best to take things one day at a time, one hour at a time if needed.

http://www.hellocruelworld.net/

[Al James]

Things do get better and even tho at the time the future seems so far away there will come a time when your in control of your own life and you get to say what happens. sometimes you may have to make difficult choices about people you love but they are your choices to make. Dont let the buzzards grind you down

[TheCG]

mcalistershaun, I am right now, at this time, going through one of the worst possible times in my life and can totally relate to your sense of hopelessness.

Just let me say that during the worst of it, I have also found the best thing that has ever happened to me and that would have not happened had I given up on everything.

Hang in there. I don't know your age but from the sound of things you are young and have your entire life ahead of you. Things will get better.

[Adio]

This sounds very serious.  I can tell that you're in a lot of pain.

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself right now, please call 911 or go to your local emergency room.  It can be scary to admit that you are having thoughts of suicide, but getting help is very important. 

If calling 911 or going to the ER sounds like too much, there are hotlines with people that can help you through this.  Here is a list by state as well as national and international numbers:  http://www.suicidehotlines.com/

Please call or talk to someone you know about how you're feeling.

[Jamie]

Bro, I was there too.
I wanted to end everything, not to feel any more pain...
But I haven't done that.
Know why?
Because I'm not a quitter - I'm a fighter!!! We all are! You too!
Maybe we can't achieve our goals tomorrow, but one day we will do that!
And on that day you will see that everything was worth of it... 


I hope you understood what I wanted to say, it's really late in my country I can't even speak my own language right now...

Just don't do anything stupid, hang in there!
If you need to talk, write here, we'll try to help you!

[rexgsd]

i am in a similar situation with the whole 'mother will never accept me' and neither will the (few) friends i have. the only way i've really been able to cope is to think of the future, and that it's possible i'll be able to have male parts and like happily (as i can) as a male one day and everything will be 100% better. also, a way i cope with lots if not all things, though it might sound weird or not be your thing, i pretend i am someone from a movie or such that is kinda in the same situation (and/or think of someone that has it worse off). for example having not many friends, i just keep thinking how my mom had it just as bad or maybe worse since she went to a new highschool everyyear and never had many friends because of it. and when i was a freshmen in (my first) highschool, sometimes i'd have to sit alone at lunch, and i'd just pretend i was this kid my mom told me about that was in her school that always sat alone at lunch but was wicked cool and just chose to do that. and for the worse off part, i think of how my mom would eat lunch in the bathroom sometimes cause she had no one to sit with.

or from a movie, i think of Patrick 'Kitten' Braden from 'Breakfast on Pluto', and how her mother and sister never accepted her because she was trans, but she finally got out of there and met interesting people and made great friends and had fun once she left the negative vibes/people and did what she wanted.

so in sum, i really get into my head and imagine im someone from a movie i like in the same situation, or just think of how it could be worse off. hope that was understandable and helps some =)

[s1ncere]

almost everyone of us goes thru this.No1 will fully understand your position unless they r in the same position.It's just reality.
i know it is easy said than done...but u have to be strong and be U, regardless of what people think or say.U r living ur life....not them.Be happy and go to ur upcoming appointment.You have something to look forward to.You are only 1 step away in becoming the person who u really are. Keep ur head up bud.Everything will fall into place.email if you need some1 to talk 2 bro.

[Dante]

I have been in this situation before for almost 2 years, and this is what I have learned;

1: Suicide is a stupid idea. I thought about killing myself, and really, I didn't do it because it would require effort to make myself do it.

2: Focus on things in the present. Don't look far ahead. Focus on small, good things you will get to do that day or that week. Give yourself something to look forward to.

3: Just hold on. Everything is tough, but just keep going. Prove that you can survive and pass this time in your life. At the very least, just go to school/work in its monotony, and find things you enjoy doing in your free time and do them.

4: Just remember that it has to get better sometime. If life's a roller coaster, it can't be flat and stuck in the same place and going the same direction all the time. It has to go back up again sometime.

And I, for some reason, want to write some quotes that helped to remind myself that it'd get better;

"It is darkest before the dawn."
-Harold, .hack//Quarantine

"Give up on yourself, and you give up on the world."
-Joshua, The World Ends With You

I think, overall, the most important thing is to keep yourself ocupied with things you love doing. Music also helps a lot!

I hope that some of this helped--I'm not so good at advice--, and I hope you start feeling better!

[confused]

i know , i tried to take the 'easy' way out more than once , because life don't get absolutely good , i mean even when a very good thing happens there's always something
But i realized three things:
1- i'm really not sure what happens after someone dies , nd it's impossible to know or to prove anything , i might even go to something worse
2- no mtter how dark it gets , it ALWAYS get's better , trust me , all you have to do is wait .
3- there are no limits in life , if i'm just tired of my life and can't live it any more i could simply leave to another place , nothing can stop me as long i have my own feet . and that's my last resort



there is much in life than you see right now , a lot of good things would happen , trust me i'm not just saying
just don't give up , and always try to be in a better place , try to help yourself . and help others that will make you feel better

[Teknoir]

As others have said, it gets better.

I've thought about "it". I was completely and totally consumed with the battle against it for years.

What always stopped me from going through with it was the thought that they'd bury me in a dress. There would be a female name on my tombstone.

It would be as though I never existed.

Screw that. There was no way in hell I'd die without having lived.

Don't end it before you are everything you want to be. You only have the power to change your circumstances while you're alive.

[Jeatyn]

Been there dude, but it really does get better. I'm in more of the "I'll show you guys!" mentality nowadays. My life sucks right now but I'll fix it, and get the last laugh in the end.

"What always stopped me from going through with it was the thought that they'd bury me in a dress. There would be a female name on my tombstone."

also this, completely this. After watching Boys Don't Cry with the note at the end saying he had something like "in memory of a loving daughter" on his tomb stone I thought screw that.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Been there, done that. It frustrates the hell out of me to think that I keep trying and trying to get ahead, get a job, so I can pay for therapy and get on T, etc...and it seems as if it's going nowhere. I keep living cause I found a love for life. The energy, the beauty of everything around me. It's all worth staying alive for. And when I started entertaining at a gay bar, I found my family, I found acceptance. And I may have found someone who believes in me and loves me, for me. You'll find it. The hardest parts of life are meant to test us and the ones who make it through are sure to survive and thrive. Being negative will get you nowhere. If you take that one step and be positive, you will probably be let down adn disappointed initially. But keep on keeping on. You'll get there. 

[kyril]

Been there. Have scars from it. Don't know what else to say.