Awkward Situations

[MRH]

Ok so I went out with my boyfriend and some mates to a small party and I found it really awkward because I didnt know these people and I wasn't sure at first if they could tell if i was male or female. Sometimes I can pass as male but most of the time my DD breasts give me away. Now its really difficult for me to socialise normally for other reasons but it was worse because i was really aware of my gender and people looking at me. When my boyfriend introduced me part of me wanted him to call me Scott even though I would of probably been given a few wierd looks. As the night went on I felt really outcasted as I didnt wanna talk to the girls because they were all very girly and I felt uncomfortable but I didn't feel right talking to the guys as they saw and treated me as a girl. Little things really began to annoy me like when my boyfriend as his mate went for a wee behind a bush and I really wanted to do that. I hadn't brought my STP which I was gonna but my boyfriend warned me not to incase I got caught. Another thing was my boyfriend was in a conversation with this bloke about beards and what beard style they wanted to grow and I was about to say what I wanted but suddenly had to stop myself when I realised that i'm a woman to these people.
It just really got to me that night and was wondering how other FTM's (or MTF's) who havent started hormones deal with these situations and if you introduce yourself as your prefered gender or your biological gender.

[shanetastic]

it's always hard in the beginning, and I don't think it gets too much better until things become easier in the passing sense.

I still have to introduce myself as a male to most people and most still see me that way because I go to school and everything.  So for the most part, I just stick with conforming because I mean it's the easiest solution for me right now because I'd rather just graduate and just do everything then when I could start fresh.

It gets difficult always putting on some facade, but i guess it's just what some of us have to deal with for now :/

[rejennyrated]

Shanetastic - Why does going to school mean you have to present as male? Just a thought.

As far back as the 1960's I first transitioned in childhood... All it takes is the support of loving parents, a thick skin for the potential reactions of your classmates, and a bit of determination.

... and yes all my school exam certificates and degrees are in my female name - and you have no idea how much easier that makes things when getting jobs and so on, because unlike most i never have to tell employers about my history.

[shanetastic]

Shanetastic - Why does going to school mean you have to present as male? Just a thought.

Because I graduate in June :p

And since I'm only out like 50/50 there I figured it would just be easiest to wait until after I graduate.  Just my own ease I guess.  I've waited this long I'm sure it's no big deal for another 3 months.

[rejennyrated]

Ok that makes more sense then. Good luck with your exam results.

- mind you looking at your avatar pic, assuming that is you, I find it difficult to see why people might view you as male (other than perhaps out of habit) because when I saw your pic I honestly originally thought you were natally female and here as someone's S.O. So take it from me, you look real good!

[kyril]

MRH - the tactic I took before I started socially transitioning was to go to these things presenting as fairly unambiguously tomboyish-female (thus avoiding the ambiguity awkwardness) and simply assert myself as one of the guys anyway. That's a model of female behaviour that most guys under 30 or so are accustomed to and know how to deal with. It's a good way to get the girls to hate you, but in my experience they don't like me terribly much either way.

There are very few things you have to censor when you do that. STPs might be one of them, at least if the girls are around (if it's just the guys, they'll think you're cool). You can get away with just about anything else by prefacing it with "If I were a guy...", like "If I were a guy I'd grow a Fu Manchu." And for anything not having to do with your genitalia, your beard, or your body hair, you can just speak your mind.

[Teknoir]

Before I started T I introduced myself as male. That is what I am. That is what I live as.

If other people have a problem with me, then that's exactly what it sounds like - other people having a problem .

Yeah, it caused weird looks sometimes - but I honestly couldn't bring myself to do any different.

Sacrificing who you are long term for someone else's comfort isn't worth it.

[BlackWolf]

It depends on which set of friends i'm with. When i'm with my ex, she sees me as 100% male and can see me no other way. She sees me as I am. She gets freaked out when i'm around people who don't know me and call me by a feminine pronoun. So, I get all these awkward looks from her and it makes me even more uncomfortable then I would be anyway. Most of the time I try to ignore the whole gender thing cuz it just upsets me, but with her around it's impossible. When I'm with my closest friends and my gf I have issues with being more myself. I don't know what to do when it comes to those three. They all know about me, my gf only refers to me as a girl and my two friends go back and forth... Talk about awkward...