Coming out at school

[Inkwe Mupkins]

i live as a male and strangers see me as male but ppl that know me no the parts arnt there i dont no if they no i consider myself a male. How do i ask them to stop referring to me as female and to use the name i want them to use? i skip school because i hate being refered to as female if everyone would treat me as a normal male school wouldnt be so bad.

[Silver]

Explain that you are transsexual, dispel their misconceptions about transsexuals and hope for the best.

[Adio]

Do you have a guidance counselor or teacher you trust that you can talk to?  Skipping school can get pretty serious even if you make good grades.

If you don't feel like you have an adult at school to talk to, try talking to a close friend about coming out.  Having even one person behind you can help you get through the day.  You could tell your circle of friends first, see how that works out, and (if the news hasn't already spread) tell more people in your class.  After that, just gently correct or remind others that may not know you as well or haven't heard.

As for what to say specifically, you could do it a number of ways and it's really up to you how you come out.  Everyone does it differently, so don't feel like you have to follow any specific pattern. 

If the person or people you want to tell already know what it means to be transgender, then your job is halfway done.  If they don't, tell them what it means to you (female body/male gender identity, or however you want to put it) and how things will change (what name you want to be called from now on, what pronouns you expect other people to use, etc).  Tell them that you know this can be difficult to understand at first but that you're still the same person and would like their support. 

After that, all you can do is hope for the best and gently remind others to use the name you want them to use and/or male pronouns when they slip up.

Good luck and keep us updated. 

[Carson]

I personally told my guidance counselor first and then had a meeting with all my teachers and a member of administration and explained everything to them and then they told my classes that from then on I was to be referred to by my chosen name and male pronouns. From then on you just roll with it, answer any legitimate questions that people have and kindly correct people when they slip up.

It doesn't have to be dramatic.

[Adio]

@Carson:  That's an awesome way to come out.  When I told teachers and admin at my high school and later at college, they basically told me to keep quiet about it as if it would negativity impact them somehow.  Was it taken well by the rest of your classes?

[Carson]

@Carson:  That's an awesome way to come out.  When I told teachers and admin at my high school and later at college, they basically told me to keep quiet about it as if it would negativity impact them somehow.  Was it taken well by the rest of your classes?

I live in a very conservative area, the administration did not want me to talk about it, even my guidance counselor who was very supportive said that she would not recommend my coming out in such a conservative school district. I said that I didn't care what anyone else thought about it, I was coming out and that was that, and if they had an issue that was just too damn bad. The students in my classes took it well enough. Obviously there were some people who reacted badly and decided to talk negatively about me but it was a surprisingly small number.

[Snowdoggy]

This is interesting

Things have changed so much from when I was at school.

What is a guidance counselor? Is it an American thing?

When I was at school, you went to school, you got bullied then you left school and then still got bullied at work. It's character building.

Good grief what is the world coming to?
John

Post Merge: April 10, 2010, 10:01:51 PM
Try being ginger and trans!!!

The showers were a hell hole I swear to you and I didn't have a counselor.

My private areas were a major sourse of amusement for a very long time.

They probably still are now 

My nickname was "she-man" at that time. You may or may not know this from the cartoon at the time called "he-man". 'twas really funny for most of the guys there. Not me though mate.

I don't know how much things have changed since I was at school but hopefully you guys have a better ride than we did.

We couldn't skip school back then either by the way or our dads would batter us (the good old days) 

John

[GothTranzboi]

I told all my teachers first Then I told all my close friends and they actually ened up handling it for me lol. If someone dared to she me, I almost felt bad, because then four of my friends would shout "He!" at the poor individual.

[waynerob]

Hi John,

You must be as old as I am....lol
School was very difficult for me as well, I attended grade school in the seventies, kids just thought I was a tomboy...........when I hit my teens I led two lives. I didn't hangout with people from school, I met other friends further away that attended other schools and hung with them and they knew me as a male only. I guess I was lucky I didn't have a real girlish look, I played a lot of sports, especially hockey so I did become somewhat muscular and I was already husky. I used to bind my chest and wear a couple t-shirts, I rode a dirt bike and was somewhat aggresive, used to get into fights with other boys(I did well) I was a tough kid
I really think ftm people today have it quite easy coming out compared to when I was young, it was hush hush, whereas today there is more info, internet, forums, packers, stp
My first visit to the Clarke Institute in Toronto-Gender Identity Clinic I was about 13-14
I saw a shrink first and he directed me there
Where I am today I did all myself, now I am going back to the clinic because it is the only way I can get bottom surgery in Canada. I have ha upper surgery and a hysterectomy and been on "T" for about 15 years. I live and work as only a male, there is no doubt by anybody that I am not complete, YET!...I would add pictures of me here but I worry that somebody that does know me may come across it and my life would change, where i am now nobody knew me before. I am all male here. It's awesome
Now my decision is what route to take with surgery
Hopefully mine turns out as successful as yours
Take care,

Waynerob

This is interesting

Things have changed so much from when I was at school.

What is a guidance counselor? Is it an American thing?

When I was at school, you went to school, you got bullied then you left school and then still got bullied at work. It's character building.

Good grief what is the world coming to?
John

Post Merge: April 10, 2010, 10:01:51 PM
Try being ginger and trans!!!

The showers were a hell hole I swear to you and I didn't have a counselor.

My private areas were a major sourse of amusement for a very long time.

They probably still are now 

My nickname was "she-man" at that time. You may or may not know this from the cartoon at the time called "he-man". 'twas really funny for most of the guys there. Not me though mate.

I don't know how much things have changed since I was at school but hopefully you guys have a better ride than we did.

We couldn't skip school back then either by the way or our dads would batter us (the good old days) 

John