My Silly Mother

[sneakersjay]

She can't quite wrap her head around this whole trans thing.  And the gay thing.  She's finally doing well with pronouns and names and even sent me a mushy card that declared, "You're My Son."  So progress!

Anyway, yesterday, I had this interesting phone call.

Mom:  I just don't understand this whole trans thing.  I mean, why couldn't you just be like Ellen?  (as in Ellen Degeneres).
Me:  She's a woman.
Mom:  But she's the man.
Me: She's a woman who likes women.  She's a lesbian.
Mom:  But she dresses like a man and has short hair, she's the man in the relationship.
Me: You mean she's more masculine.
Mom: Yes.
Me: But she's a woman, and likes being a woman, and likes women.
Mom:  Yes, but she wears ties.
Me: But I'm not a lesbian.  I'm not a woman and I don't like women.
Mom:  Well not now, but...
Me:  And I like men.  I'm a man who likes men.  I don't like women.  I never liked women.  I'm a gay man.
Mom:  (sighs)  I just don't understand all this stuff.

After I hang up, I'm ROFL.

Jay

[Sandy]

That is hilarious, Jay.

You can replay this conversation at any time.  Pick it up at any point and you'll always circle back to the beginning.

*psst, mom!*
*Jay is a gay man! got it?*

-Sandy

[kyril]

ROFL!

Your mom sounds like my husband.

[Crow]

Oh, parental units-- Your mom sounds adorable. At least she's trying? x3

[gothique11]

I've had conversations like that. LOL A lot of people don't get "trans," at first, but eventually it kicks in (hopefully).

[Cindy]

This is the conversation that happens,

I'm now out to several guys that I used to work with. They are all 'straight' or say so . Are you Gay they ask me. No I say. I like Guys.

Start again, I'm female gender, I'm a normal female with wrong body parts I identify as female, I dress and live as female. Are you Gay, No I like guys. Start again.

It could become a really good TV show (pun intended)

Cindy

[justmeinoz]

Cue Abbot and Costello- "Who's on First"

[Jam]

LOL
I can't believe that, i just read all the top bit trying very hard not to laugh cause i thought 'no hes probably on about something serious' get to the bottom and you found it funny yourself.

I can't wait for this....
My dad keeps mentioning that im gay, im dying to say im not but i know the conversation that will follow..

'im not gay'
'so you like men?'
'no i like women but im a man so im not gay'
'but your not a man your a woman'
'no im a man in a womans body'
'but you don't no that *birth name* look as long s your happy with yourself it shouldn't matter how other people see you'
'but im not happy with myself...'
'yes but you just need to work on that *birth name again* just try to be happy with yourself'

There's no hope....

[Arch]

Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead.

(Although I wouldn't mind my very own torpedo...mine's a little small and doesn't really qualify.)

[Autumn]

"I've known a lot of gay men, and generally, if you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone."
"Cool.
...
I'm not a gay man."
"...Oh right I guess if you consider you see yourself as a woman...."


"Carol, I think I'm coming to terms with being gay."
"Awww we need to find you a pretty gay boy."
"...you mean pretty gay girl."
"What?"
"You suck at this."

"That customer tried to hook me up with James."
"Oh. I didn't know he was that way."
"What?"
"James is gay?"
"No."
"But the customer..."
"Knows I'm a woman."
"I don't get it."
"He wanted me to have a boyfriend."
"But you're not gay."

[Samantha_Peterson]

This sounds a lot like my mother 

[Silver]

"I've known a lot of gay men, and generally, if you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone."
"Cool.
...
I'm not a gay man."
"...Oh right I guess if you consider you see yourself as a woman...."


"Carol, I think I'm coming to terms with being gay."
"Awww we need to find you a pretty gay boy."
"...you mean pretty gay girl."
"What?"
"You suck at this."

"That customer tried to hook me up with James."
"Oh. I didn't know he was that way."
"What?"
"James is gay?"
"No."
"But the customer..."
"Knows I'm a woman."
"I don't get it."
"He wanted me to have a boyfriend."
"But you're not gay."

(I wish we had a headdesk/facepalm emote)

[Metamorph]

(I wish we had a headdesk/facepalm emote)

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hows that? 

[Dana Lane]

Pretty much had this same conversation with my Mom. It was funny. She finally kind of got it though.

[LordKAT]

At least you guys are talking, it is no convo with my parents. Even when I am in their house, go figure.

[Silver]

............................................________
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.............................,.-"..................................."-.,
.........................,/...............................................":,
.....................,?......................................................\,
.................../...........................................................,}
................./......................................................,:`^`..}
.............../...................................................,:"........./
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../
.........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/
..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....}
...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../
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,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,
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................................`:,,...........................`\..............__
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\
...................................,<`.._|_,-&``................`\


hows that? 

Wow.

[Kay]

Heh, funny.
.
Though I am glad to hear that she's both making an effort to understand, and is accepting.
.
A lot of non-gay or non-trans people don't have much experience with what we take for granted as just a fact of life.  They're used to the overly simplistic Man vs. Woman heterosexual system.  Have you tried a diagram maybe?  Like a map, sometimes they help people visualize exactly what you're talking about.
.

[LordKAT]

forgot sex identity

[Kay]

Well, there are always more ways to fragment these circles into more and more if you really feel the need to...to the point that we could have the olympic rings times 10, and still be asking for more circles. 
.
That said, we're not trying to break her brain here.      It sounds like a simple 3 circle diagram may be a challenge at this point. 
.
Out of curiosity though, how do you differentiate between Gender identity and Sex identity?  (I'm not sure whether you're talking body image, or something else)
.

forgot sex identity

[Autumn]

(I wish we had a headdesk/facepalm emote)

That was at work, not my mother; some coworkers.

Coming out and being open at work is AWESOME when you've got queers in charge.