What kind of folk are you friends with? (ts-edition)

[no_id]

Hola my dear neighbours!

We had a topic 'What kind of people are you friends with?' in the Androgyne forum not too long ago. This morning, pre-coffee, I wondered if the answers given there would be the same here (they mostly revolved around more/less female/male), and I somehow figured there might be a different 'relating-to' part in the bin here.

So, what kind of people are you friends with?
By this I mean; do you mostly hang out with cisgendered folk (male or female)? Do you feel more comfortable with tg partiers or is it a mix of both, other, or is there an absolute lack of social life?

I figure stealth might also have an effect on the social sphere and I'm curious how, what the differences are and what the similarities.

Heck, I could be completely off with a semi-assumption that anything has any influence on the social, but it's worth a 'hmm' thread.  Thanks in advance for any replies!

[jesse]

i havent met alot of tg people in real life so my vote has to go with cis gendered

[Samantha_Peterson]

Bisexuals, females, gays, I'm trying to become friends with a FTM transsexual at my school but there isn't a time when we can really speak to each other...(I'll have to keep trying though. It would be nice to have someone in real life to talk and relate with). Also, all of my friends are completely cool with me wanting to transition.

[no_id]

i havent met alot of tg people in real life so my vote has to go with cis gendered

If I may ask, do you hang mostly with men or women then? And do you think you'd prefer to have social connections with tg folk (instead)?

[jesse]

i usually hang with girls or other officers as men cause my anxiety level to go way way up
jessica
Post Merge: April 23, 2010, 06:27:55 AM
i would much rather have the social connection with trans individuals despite our individual issues i can connect with them in ways not available to me other wise (emotionally) i think i would prefer a trans partner one day too.
jessica

[kyril]

My social group is and has always been almost exclusively men (and the straight ones' girlfriends/wives, but I only meet them through their boyfriends/husbands) and almost exclusively cis. That's been constant since kindergarten, really; I've have a few distant female friends sort of drift in and out of my life, but the last really close girlfriend I had was when I was about seven. I relate to guys pretty easily. The only time it gets awkward is when they ask me to explain women to them, because I'm completely helpless in that department.

I've met a few trans guys in real life, but I've never met one 'organically' in a situation where a friendship would really develop - support group type environments don't work like that for me, they're really uncomfortable. I definitely never felt like I related better to trans guys than cis guys. In fact, sometimes I really struggle to relate at all; a lot of the trans guys I've met have lesbian-identified pasts and very little experience relating to cis men. As someone who's never felt comfortable in female-dominated environments, I find them (and their partners) rather confusing and intimidating.

And I'm not exactly "stealth" (I'm straight-married, my close friends knew me as female until a couple months ago, and I still go by my birth name around them) but I'm not exactly "out" to everyone I meet either, since I pass remarkably well these days. How I present doesn't seem to have any bearing on the sort of people who are interested in befriending me - the only thing that's changed is the predominant sexuality of the guys who flirt with me.

[Metamorph]

My close friends are almost all men that Ive known all my life but I hang with whoevers available and its a mix. Overall I tend to enjoy female company more. Ive only ever know one other TS person and that was a FTM at work who the ENTIRE company accepted without question.

[Miniar]

My friends are intelligent, open minded, skeptical, clever, funny, sometimes silly, and sometimes dramatic.
THOSE are my friends.
I don't Care whats in their pants!
I don't Care who they sleep with!
and I don't Care whether they're cis or trans!
As long as they are happy and healthy and themselves, they got my blessing.

[rejennyrated]

... i think i would prefer a trans partner one day too.
jessica

Well as someone who did just that and has forged an exceptionally loving (and sexy!) relationship with my Alison that has lasted over 22 years I can highly reccommend it Jessica.

I won't give a detailed answer to the question again in this thread because I've already done so in the other one. Suffice it to say my friends come from all sections of humanity.

[AmySmiles]

I've always been really easy to get along with, but I only make close relationships with a few people.  Of those I call close friends, they are about evenly split male and female with a few more on the female side.

I don't know many trans people, but I would really like to meet a few youngish ones and hang out.  I have a harder time relating to the older ones (+20 or more years) in my area.

[rejennyrated]

I have a harder time relating to the older ones (+20 or more years) in my area.

Hey - age is just a number you know. You obviously just haven't met the right oldies yet. I'm sure it does help me that I had my SRS when I was young (early 20's) so I know what it's like to be female and that age, but even at 50 I still pretty much like doing all the things that youngsters do.

[pebbles]

My friends are an interesting and diverse group. As has been noticed and claimed single one of us has something unique and extremely broken about us. We were all the bullied outsiders in school and regarded as "freaks" although most of us weren't friends until after school
Our genders and sexualities are mixed. About 2 of them are gay 3 are Bi 2 are Asexual the rest are straight.

I've never met another trans MTF before never even seen one IRL to my knowledge. I used to know an FTM but they were just an acquaintance.

Of course I'm trans, it was my big secret until recently it was sorta unknown what drove me to be so crazy when I was left alone and caused me to scream and cut myself.
One of my friends she's struggling with anorexia and I worry about her alot she's relapsed and only weighs 5 stone.
one has BDD.
Some of them have been on heroin and cocaine before one has got distinctive collapsed nostrils.
Alot of them have unknown issues like I did but there begin treated for generic depression or bi-polar disorder
Another is Schizophrenic. Just calmly suggest that she needs to take her medicine when she starts talking to bob.
Another is prone to extreme bouts of anger and violence usually directed at himself or non-animate objects.
Another friend of mine has Trichotillomania.

The girl with Trich sold her story to a magazine good for her.
http://www.pickmeupmagazine.co.uk/real_lives/Bad_hair_decade_article_295234.html

[Teknoir]

While I'm open to having friends from any "area", my friends are all cisgendered men (and one of their girlfriends). All that I know of are heterosexual.

I don't tell my friends of my past or orientation. It's not something that I feel the need to bring up - it's not relevant to anything.

I have a few friends that know me from before, but I don't mix the two circles. I don't talk to most of them that often.

I wouldn't say I lack a social life, but I'm not "bestest buddiez!" with people. I prefer to keep my business to myself, and construct my social times around sharing viewpoints, interests, and experiences.

[JessieMH]

Mostly straight males, one bi male, two MtFs.

Don't have many friends outside the web though

[sneakersjay]

I've always had a very small social circle, with most friends (close ones) being cis-women primarily and their husbands.

Lately I've been expanding my social circle and within the last 2 months I'd say the majority of people I hang with besides family have been gay men and I've been stealth with them.  And, it seems to be where I fit in the best.


Jay

[Dawn D.]

The people that I associate with are from many different walks of life. They're straight (as far as I know), gay & lesbian(openly) and trans. There are very close friends that are straight as an arrow and we go to dinners and local events. There are LGBT friends that we get together for trans rights and Pride events.

Just yesterday, I went to a local coffee house were a friend of mine has started a Trans awareness communication hour called T-talk. It's open to anyone who wants to know more about trans issues. Tonight I am attending a county historical pictorial event and it is most likely I am going to be the only trans person in the room (that I know of). I'll be in attendance with friends who are cis-male, cis-female and of course my wife.

I try not to limit my social acquaintances. I was recently asked to join the local Kiwanis group. And I most likely will do so! Several of these members have been in the organization for most of their adult lives and have known me since I was a small child (as a male) growing up here. I wanted to make it to the local Chamber of Commerce mixer last night, however T-talk ran long and I missed it. Everyone knows I'm trans here, but it just doesn't seem to be an issue. As one well known hetero cis-male told me the other day, "that's not what I'm concerned with. It's the quality of your character that means something to me and I can see you have a good one". He left me smiling!



Dawn   
Post Merge: April 23, 2010, 05:46:20 PM
As coincidence would have it. No sooner had I finished my previous post on this topic when in through the door walks the president of the local Kiwanis Club to bring me an application for joining. I just finished filling it out and he'll pick it up Tuesday! Weird timing.


Dawn

[LordKAT]

Mostly ones who are smart enough to not get too close. One who is a bit close. I think it is because he is like us.

[Nygeel]

I have different groups of friends, the majority are queer/LGBT. I do have some friends that are straight and cis-gender but aren't too...respectful of my identity.

[no_id]

Hey ladies, gents, thanks for the replies thus far.
So far it seems like the majority doesn't have a lot of other tg in their friend's circle.

Personally I think I would like to know more tg folk irl - maybe that's one of the reasons I come to these forums.
At the same time I like 'just' knowing them on the forums and and just have my friend circle as it is - keeping my tg 'status' seperated from it. I suppose that's something that makes more sense to those stealth.

Little morning ramble.

[rejennyrated]

Hey ladies, gents, thanks for the replies thus far.
So far it seems like the majority doesn't have a lot of other tg in their friend's circle.

Personally I think I would like to know more tg folk irl - maybe that's one of the reasons I come to these forums.
At the same time I like 'just' knowing them on the forums and and just have my friend circle as it is - keeping my tg 'status' seperated from it. I suppose that's something that makes more sense to those stealth.

Or you could do what I did and have your countries leading retired Gender Psychiatrist amongst you select innver circle of friends instead LOL 

It is STRICTLY personal and non professional between us but he is a really great guy to have around.

Although I do also know few TG folk as well... Basically I'l be friends with anyone and everyone. In my address book you can find everyone from minor royalty (although that might become a bit tricky if my film script ever gets made) to reformed ex cons and all shade in between.