** Warning ** somewhat graphic
I only vaguely remember being wheeled back into my room, I was sensing the jostling of the cart and it swinging around in different directions. I could hear french voices around me and the outline of those that moved me to my room. I was only half conscious and drifted out again. I felt safe and taken care of.
The patients rooms are one floor below the operating theatre and recovery area, so it was a quick ride down the elevator. The room I was in was for two people. I was sharing mine with another girl who also had her surgery that morning. A curtain was drawn between us so we had a little privacy. She had the window and I was close to the door. My new immediate world was very small and the next few days would be focused on the bed, the nurses coming in and out in seemingly random patterns and noises from the world outside the room that are never seen ...and my roommates own recovery.
At some point I awoke and the first thing I noticed was feeling a strong steady dull ache in my genital area. I looked down to my feet and there was an impressively high mound of bandaging and dressing rising from under the blanket between my legs. I was very aware that it would be best not to even touch that area with my hands. I was still very groggy.
I also felt a tight, hot pressure in my chest. My hands went to my chest and it felt strange, my skin tight and with a different shape all across it. When I looked under my gown I saw my breasts for the first time. The skin was very tight with alot of swelling in the upper chest area. My breasts rose fully on each side with wonderful curves in a beautiful shape and the nipples swollen as well, rising high. I thought they were beautiful and I was very happy. It was a good moment as I acknowledged my clearly female body. I was struck at how tiny and flat my stomach was in comparison to my chest.
The first night was difficult because of the anesthesia. I had difficulty breathing and had coughing spasms with spitting up into a basin ...it was hard, to be frank. I had tears several times. The nurses were so wonderful, helping me through that first night as I choked and coughed up the anesthesia. I came to love the night nurse for her kindness, gentleness and giving of herself. I will remember her forever for being there for me in that tough time.
As part of the first night protocol, they had me stand and walk a few steps by my bed. Lucky for me there was a kind male nurse to help me get up from my bed. I held onto his arm and a moment later I was up. It felt good. He steadied me and I took a few steps, holding on his arm the whole time. They were so kind and giving of themselves. I have to give them credit. Again, I will love them forever for being there for me.
Once I was back in bed they changed my dressing. I could see all the bandaging as they changed it, so much of it. There is a drain used to remove blood from the wound site that collects in a small, attached plastic container that has a small pump for emptying. They pumped alot out of me. Yes, it is messy, there is alot of blood. The dressing changes and drain pump were a big part of the first night. The nurse came by often and stopped by when she was finished with her shift and stroked my arm saying goodnight.
The pain from the surgery was a steady ache. When I was back in bed I asked for something for the pain and they gave me a shot. I then fell asleep and that was the end of my first day.
Though it was hard and I was in shock from the experience I was very happy.
I made it through, it was okay.
Updated to: remove names
