I dk... There have just been way too many things going on at once. The usual emotional flurries which are strengthened by environmentally multi-layered catastrophes (not literally... Morbid analogy as usual.). I have just been... Freaked out. I'm probably taking the next semester off. Its an impossibly hard crossroads because this school and art is like my dream, but its in direct opposition with growing correctly in the last year of really major changes, and my health which just gets worse and worse. I gained weight, but at the expense of my grades. So its like a choice between Silent hill and Ishbal. Very very hard crossroads. Either choice is driving me insane and I know I'm probably taking the semester off, but its until next January... All cause of genetic disorders and my body being a jerk, which is beyond my control. Trying to get anxiety meds that actually work (Not these BS SSRIs and mood stabilizers. I don't care how addictive anti-anxiety meds are, if I wanted to get high, I'd smoke... Just saying. I mean I have no reason to abuse something that could actually hurt me)... But its a hard fight cause of doctors and liability and that kind of chain of parasitic relationships in the medical foodchain.
I dk. I'm trying my best. I currently have like... The flu. Got it right as the last couple of weeks of classes have begun, and finals. Probably going to fail art history, and time motion, which is like.... How time works in film, and final cut tutorials (which I like)... Time motion I might fail cause of absences, even though I was sick or having a panic attack every time. It should be utterly illegal to not count doctors notes as an excused absence... I mean, thats messed up! Thats utterly wrong.
Trying ... You look good Shane. Did you go through with things, then? Very different looking... Kinda like my bones. I have a waist now. Its like... Cool and stuff, yeah... But something I'm just not used to. Thought provoking. My personae are having a civil war and a parade all at the same bloody time. @_@
